This w
eekend I tried something new. I attended a sex ed workshop and learned how to have a more joyful sex life. The workshop was at BellaNor Boutique with SHARE. SHARE is The Center for Sexual Health and Relationship Enrichment. The workshop, lead by two licensed sex, marriage, and family therapists, was enlightening, entertaining, and even a little explicit. Because I like to keep it PG, or at least PG13 on the blog, I can’t tell you about everything that was discussed. However, here are a few highlights
Sadly most of us were stumped by the first question the therapists asked. The question was when was the last time you felt really good about your body. Not when was the last time you felt pretty or attractive. When was the last time you felt good about your body to the point you could be naked and not be concerned about the jiggly or dimpled parts. For me, the answer is about 4 or 5 years ago 🙁 This is not OK. I have some work to do in the confidence department.
We discussed a little bit of anatomy. We should all know how our girly parts work, what they look like, and the proper names. During the anatomy discussion the therapists reminded us that we should always make informed decisions about our bodies. This includes decisions we make when it comes to delivering babies. The therapist advised that a very common procedure, the episiotomy, can have a negative effect on your sex life after baby. This procedure can cause scare tissue and vein damage that can make your girly parts not work as well as before. This does not mean you should not have one. However, a conversation about this common procedure should take place with your doctor before labor begins.
The overall goal of the workshop was to discuss how to have a more joyful sex life. To do this it’s important for people to remember that what you do what your significant other is real and should not be compared or expected to be like what you see on TV or on those movies. Make an effort to remove what the therapists called “blockers” things that steal your focus away from enjoying your experience. Blockers are things like body image, stress, lack of time, religion issues, and past trauma and abuse.
There were some very practical things you can do to have a more joyful experience. Do things that make you feel pretty and sexy. Create a routine where you do these things for yourself. Not for your partner. Do them for yourselves to make you feel good about you. Then make sure you don’t stop doing those things. Not event when life gets hectic money gets low. Make sure maintaining your pretty is a priority.
Set your bedroom up to enhance your experience. It should reflect your personality and what makes you feel sexy. There should be no toys, pictures of children or pictures of parents in your bed room. There was opinions on both sides as to whether or not a TV should be allowed in the bedroom. The idea is to not have things in the bed room that can cause you to become distracted, so no Facebooking, texting, Tweeting, or reading Chasing Joy blog in the bed room.
One practical tip that really made me think was make time for a healthy sex life. Now I have mentioned before that I have an . However, how much time am I making available to go out and meet people? How often do I make time to look at the online profiles that I have on dating sites, especially the free ones that I tend to forget about. I’m thinking I need to make more time for focusing on getting a sex life. Got to get one before I can make it Joyful. LOL
Last but not least we all have to remember that having a Joyful sex life is our own responsibility It is not the sole responsibility of our partners to make us enjoy it. We have to make it a priority, know how our bodies work, work on our body image issues and confidence, decrease the blockers that distract us from our experience, set our bedrooms up to enhance and reflect our sexy side and make time for our relationships or finding them.
SHARE and BelloNor Boutique will be having other workshops in the future so stay tuned to their face book pages to stay informed.
I am single, but with too much going on right now, I can’t even pretend I am even ready to ‘mingle’ right now! 🙂
More women need to experience classes like this. It’s rarely discussed openly.
Great points and thanks for sharing. My husband and I have a healthy sex life which is so important,
Real versus movies or TV? lol I wish the younger generation would take heed. Oh the conversations I hear when the grown kids are here and their friends come with…
That was a year and a half ago…when I really enjoyed my body. I can still be naked around my husband because he tells me how pretty I am, but any skin showing whatsoever around others, and I’m feeling insecure.
It sounds like this was a very positive experience for you! Growing and striving to lead our best life is the way to go.
These are great points.
Couples definitely need to focus on this topic, which probably becomes much more difficult with having children.
I think there are two big factors to this. One is to be comfortable with your body. You can’t enjoy your partner if all you can think about is what you look like. Second is to be absolutely trusting of your partner and their love for you.
Fabulous tips, yes ambiance and the way you look sexy makes your partner more aggressive and remember to be creative in every time your having sex with your partners.
Yes the good ambiance make us more productive, creative and powerful when we are with our patrners..
Great post! The feeling good about my body part is something I always struggle with. That and the keeping my bedroom sexy part!
This sounds like a really great event. Thanks for sharing! I'm wondering what some of the not PG13 things said were. I guess I'm going to have to find myself a workshop.
Oh gosh, thank you for saying we should say and know proper names for our body parts! I hate to hear a grown woman say every name but what it's supposed to be thinking it will be embarrassing or unlady like…really? Just say the proper word! 🙂
I totally agree with the matter of having full body confidence — it truly is one of the primary keys to having a joyful sex life. I think that with the increasing images/stories from the media and "their" definition of a "sexy" body, many women (myself included) have to fight constantly to block out those images and embrace our bodies totally. The more we love our bodies, the more we are confident and accepting to others loving our bodies. Thanks for sharing with us! 🙂
sounds like an interesting event!
It sounds like this was an intersting event. It is important for people to realize that sexual health is part of health and should be prepared for and cared for as all other parts of our life.
Cool posting. It's always good to learn tips on how to find & keep satisfaction in the area 🙂 It's amazing how body image issues disappear or dramatically dwindle when you build a good solid foundation with man that you feel comfortable with. AND, way to go on putting your job posting out there 😉 keep on believing as you both prepare to cross paths.
this sounds like it was a great event! We have a tv in our sitting room, but you have to get out of the bed to watch it. And I had never considered taking photos of children and parents out. So I guess that photo of my mom on my bedside table should go huh? LOL
Great post and it sounds like this was a great event!! I will have to check out the schedule. I realize the only way for it to be joyful is for me to feel good about myself so I constantly work on that….Hope that is clean enough:)