Today I am going to make a little confession. I say a little confession because my friends and most of my families are already privy to this bit of info. It’s nothing juicy or all that uncommon. It’s actually a rather ordinary fact but still a rather personal one.
So are you ready? Drum roll please……… Here goes, I see a therapist. I routinely see a shrink and get my head shrunk. LOL That’s right several times a month I go to a doctor and discuss my problems, anxieties, hopes, and dreams both my dreams for the future and the ones I had about the lions, haunted porch, and aliens. She helps me see things from a different point of view and helps me find better ways to deal with day to day to day stressors.
So why am I letting this cat out of the bag today? Well it had been on my mind for a while now to reveal this bit of info about myself. I know there is still quite a bit of stigma within the black community about therapy and mental health . It was only a matter of time before I was ready to speak positively about the virtues of therapy on this blog. I also figured I’d do it on a Monday. Many bloggers including one of my favorite’s Bewildered Bug participate in Mental Health Mondays. While I don’t intend to pick that up as a regular feature on the blog it does provide good timing for my announcement.
But why this Monday? Well, last week I received a very unexpected phone call. I answered a call on my cell phone from a caller who’s number I did not recognize. Within a few minutes the caller revealed themselves as an old friend and got to the point of their call. The person started out saying they had been reading my blog. My first thought was oh crap they read something that they did not like. But I was wrong. The person revealed that they found it so uplifting and wished they could be as happy as me. They went on to say that they were in a really bad place and where basically contemplating suicide!!!
I spoke to the person for about a half hour. During that time I reminded the person that I see a therapists and that has helped me. I emphasized over and over again that the caller should seek out therapy of some sort for themselves. I advised them to go to a hospital, or a church. I reminded the person of the people that would be hurt if they went through with a suicide. But over and over again I stressed how the therapy has helped me and that I felt it could be helpful for them as well. I hope what I said sunk in. After the call I also texted the person the National Suicide Prevention Hotline phone number. I hope what I said was helpful.
So here I am doing my very own Mental Health Monday Post and confessing to you all about my therapy. God is good and this blog with it’s joyful quotes has been a tremendous help in my overall mental/emotional health. But complimenting that is the therapy. Now I do not have any sort of Mental Disorder or chemical imbalance. I started therapy after the death of my dad and during a really bad break up. At times life can be really hard and that was a hard time for me. I was feeling very very down, maybe even depressed. Now it is normal to feel down and sometimes depressed but I did not want to get stuck there. I was concerned for myself because my thoughts were dark and I felt that I was struggling to get through my days. Therapy helped me with that. I continue to go because I like to have a safe place to express myself without fearing that I am worrying someone else.
So that is my confession. Are you disappointed? Where you expecting something more juicy??? LOL Sorry to disappoint you if you were.
I do hope that if there is someone out there who thinks they may need to talk to a therapist but are embarrassed that they will see that it is no big deal and go. If any of you are feeling depressed or down for longer than usual or feel stuck there please go. If any of you are considering hurting yourself in any way please go. Remember that I go so you will not at all be alone.
If you have health insurance you can look on the back of your medical card and there will be a phone number for mental health or behavioral health. Use that number to find a therapist within your network. If you don’t have insurance go to your local hospital and explain that you need to talk to a therapist. Many churches offer counseling services as well, often by certified therapist who volunteer their time at the church. If you are contemplating hurting yourself call the Suicide Prevention Hotline Immediately 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
Now remember that my advice here is based only on my personal experience. I am not a doctor, therapist, or counselor. I am just a blogger who is Chasing Joy, who spills her guts to a therapist regularly, and who does not think there is anything wrong with that.
What are your thoughts? Do you feel there is a stigma within your community about seeking therapy or any kind of emotional or mental health support?
I LOVE therapy – I think the world would be a better place if more people were open to trying it out. Hardest part is finding a therapist that you "Click" with…I was so lucky because the first time I did it I had a wonderful person whose style I gelled with and I felt so comfortable around her. Then she got promoted and found me a new one – who also was wonderful. I haven't been able to find a good one since then… (sigh)
Greta post.I appreciate you highlighting the arthritis awareness this month. And for pointing us to .bewilderedbug.com on the mental issue issue. Lots to read, but great information. Thanks for sharing all this…. psychny.com | Psychology Videos
I begin so many sentences these days with "My therapist said…" I've been seeing one for 3 years now, and I doubt I'll ever give it up. I go twice a month, and it really helps center me. I believe that everyone deserves a therapist! I'm proud of you for sharing this on your blog!
I really think I need to see a therapist to talk about the grief I am suffering from. This June, it will be two years since my father passed, but I feel like I can't get over it. My job is stressing me out so much I can't sleep. And I feel like I have no one to talk to, so I keep it all bottled up inside. It's not good and I know it's not good, but I'm stuck in this rut that I probably need help getting out of. Thank you for sharing your story. It helps to know I'm not alone.
I've been seeing a therapist off and on for several years. I don't know if I could go back to life without knowing he's there if I need him. I wish our country would finally get a place where mental health is as important as physical health and is treated as a medical condition instead of something we should just man up and push through. I write about therapy on my blog a lot. I want to reduce the stigma by talking about it. If just one person decides to go to therapy because they know I go and it's okay if they go, it'll all be worth it.
What a wonderful post. It is brave of you to mention this because there is still some stigma. My father is a mental health nurse and I've always wanted to end that stigma, but then when I found myself booking an appointment to see a therapist, I didn't tell my husband. I still haven't told him! My appointment is next week and I still haven't been able to mention it. Isn't that terrible? I had a miscarriage recently and my family doctor suggested a therapist might be able to help me cope a bit better. There is really no shame in it, so why is it so hard to talk about?
Thanks again for this post. It was so helpful to read.
The right therapist can really help us break through our personal struggles.
I wrote and reviewed my experience with a therapist who wanted to focus on moms and stress. You can watch it here: http://bit.ly/ffthommi2
My pregnancy and first year of marriage were especially stressful because my Father was dying.
Great post! As you may know, I blog about health care topics. I will share this post with my readers. I've been to therapy before & will encourage anyone to do so. It's a personal choice & no one has to know but you, the therapist & God. Thanks for sharing & helping to chip away at the stigma in our culture.
There's nothing wrong with seeing a therapist. Nothing! Say it proudly! I need to find me one.
This is a very real post. I need one. My life, as blessed as it may be wears me down and I need to find another one ASAP, but keep putting it off. I look at it as a mini-vacation to lie on someone's couch (ok sit in a comfy chair) and work out my issues.
I think I am a mess. I have fired several therapists. LOL! I just don't get anything out of it. I wish I did. I think I look for some aha moment and it never happens. Glad it works for you though. I have to keep searching for my outlet.
Thanks for sharing! I've actually been considering going to therapy just to have that objective person to get me out of my own head, and to tell me what I need to hear. I'm so glad that it's helped you, and I thank God for you for sharing this info. I have no doubt that you've helped at least one person to take that next step in seeking out help. I do believe there is still a stigma attached to seeing a "shrink". But mental health is so important especially in this day and age.
Everyone should have an objective person to talk to. Kudos to you for sharing.
The stigma is definitely there. There is nothing wrong with regular professional therapy. Sometimes getting an outside view on our lives is just the thing that is needed to achieve and/or maintain balance. And I also feel that encouragement can definitely come in many forms. What an awesome thing to know that you are impacting lives in a positive way! 🙂
I tell people all of the time that I see a therapist and yes in the black community it is a big deal. You're labeled crazy. I have been told that all I need to do is pray, get over it, or "you're not on drugs so why do you need that?" from some people in my community. Being the person that I am, I gave them an earful and did what I had to do to get to a positive place. My therapist gave me tools that allow me to stay in a positive place.
Good For you!!!
It's very true that it's a stigma in the Black community. Actually, a lot of ethnic communities view therapy as a sign of weakness. We all need someone to talk to. Someone that is not emotionally connected to us, someone unbiased, someone who can provide objective support. Thanks for sharing your story.
I a glad you shared this story. Many more people need to see therapists and realize that they have mental health professionals for a reason. Everyone would have a fit over a woman who had heart disease and did not see a cardiologist. Likewise we should encourage people with mental, emotional or behavioral problems to seek out professional help. It is a good thing. The more often people share stories about going to therapists and how much commmon sense it makes to do so, the more people will do it and the better the world will be!
For several years, I have been contemplating a career change–going to grad school and becoming a therapist to help address some of the stigma by working in the black community. In fact, today while off work, I spent much of it researching programs and thinking about whether or not to make this move. So interesting that you post this while I'm in the midst of my decision making. Maybe I should take it as a sign. Thank you for sharing!
It is healthy and very common to see a therapist. Some see it as a thing you don't want to talk about but it really shouldn't be. Our mental health effects our physical healthy in more ways most might be aware of! Thanks for sharing your secret with us and arming us with such great info to share with others!
good for you for seeing a therapist. more people should see one. i also believe more people should be medicated for chemical imbalances. and some who are, shouldn't be.
I didn't realize there was that much of stigma related to 'the black community' but I am glad you wrote this inspiring post.
Your confession is a reality for so many of us "normal" people in this day and time. You have known me for 20 years and I don't think I have a clue about normalacy yet! When I first met your brother and the rest of the family, I clung to you all…because I had never experienced a family that got along and everybody loved each other and you could tell. I, too, started seeing a therapist last year because I was at a place of wanting to disappear. I was angry, depressed, hurt, I didn't care about how anything I said or did caused people to feel. The only person I didn't intentionally hurt was my son. My therapist helped me realize that the ones who were making me feel the way I did were not required to be in my life. I still have some suppressed issues that I am working that root from my childhood, but I am grateful, that with many sessions with my therapist, sessions with my son's therapist, and praying constantly, that I have an inner peace and I am comfortable with me for the first time in my life. To see life in a state of confusion was ugly and I wanted to escape. To have a new outlook is a wonderful thing and I am glad to be in a spirit of chasing joy each morning when I wake up. Mental illness is something that I have dealt with since birth with my siblings and extended family, but more importantly with my own child, however, he is a straight A student who is 2 classes away from earning a full schloarship for his first 2 years of college. Mental illness is what you make it….if you want to be sucessful….you can be a success! Thank you for your daily encouragement…no telling whose day is better because of it!
Penny