Have you ever simultaneously wanted to go to an event and not want to go to an event? That is how I felt about going to The Blog Connect blog conference this past weekend. I wanted to go and knew I’d have a good time. But social anxiety was stealing my confidence. Luckily over the years I have learned to do a few things to boost confidence before an event. I am excited to share them with you.
Here is what I did to boost confidence before an event.
- Stress Dump Exercise – I do this exercise to help me zero in on the things that are bothering me or causing me to feel anxious. I did a Stress Dump Exercise Facebook Live video on Friday explaining how to do it. But basically you just write down all the things that are bothering you. Nothing is too big or too small. Then you figure out which things are actually within your control and which things you have a solution for. After the stress dump I realized I was worried about a few things that were not within my control. For example, I was worried about not fitting in and being the oldest person there. Getting those stressors out of my head and written down helped me to feel calmer and reminded me to not dwell on the things I could not control.
- Picked Out Outfits – I am not a fashion blogger but I definitely think what you wear is important. Liking what you see in the mirror can help you feel more confident. The flip side, not liking or not feeling comfortable in what you are wearing will make you feel insecure and out of place. So I spent some time picking out two outfits that would help me to feel my best for the two The Blog Connect events.
- Painted My Nails – I am being a little more wise with my spending so I have not been getting my nails done regularly. Unfortunately my nails are not my best feature. They can look uneven and rough if I am not focused on maintaining them. The stress dump exercise helped me realize that my nails were another thing that was stressing me out. The idea of shaking hands with a bunch of people with raggedy nails did not fall into my description of a Joyful time. I did my nails myself and immediately felt much better about shaking hands with new blogger friends.
- Power Statement – A while ago I wrote a limiting belief that I struggled with. To overcome it I developed a power statement. I spent some time reciting my power statement while in the shower to get pumped and boost confidence . I do some of my best thinking, praying and positive self-talk in the shower. There’s something about water that promotes clarity.
- Affirmations – After reciting my power statement I moved on to saying some positive affirmations. The difference between the two is that my power statement is directly related to a limiting belief. Affirmations are also positive statements but they are not tied to any limiting belies. My affirmations included statements reminding myself that I am smart and pretty with a good sense of humor and that I am approachable.
- Exit strategy – Lastly I developed an exit strategy. I tend to be more introverted. So even though I like meeting new people the idea of hours and hours of networking with strangers does stress me out. It helps to give myself a permission to leave after a certain period of time. The Blog Connect consisted of a networking cocktail party on Saturday night and a full day blog conference on Sunday. I gave myself permission to leave the cocktail part once I felt I had made all of the organic connections that came naturally. I gave myself to leave the Sunday blog conference after the final session instead of after the final social networking activity. Giving myself permission to leave at a certain point made it much easier to go.
After doing these six things I felt much better.
Doing these few things to boost confidence put me in the right frame of mind to have a great time at The Blog Connect. Despite having been blogging for over 7 years I learned quite a bit. But the best part was making real life connections and relationship building with bloggers from Philly. But it only worked out because I was able to boost confidence and get in the right frame of mind to overcome my social anxieties.
Do you get super nervous before events? How do you deal with social anxiety?
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It was so nice to meet you at the conference Arlett. I’m glad we were able to connect at the party Saturday night. I love your advice for overcoming social anxiety and boosting confidence. I know as an introvert myself that I was feeling overloaded! I went outside at lunch time and got fresh air and gave myself permission to skip the unicorn cupcakes! They were so cute though!
I had never heard of a Stress Dump Exercise! And I agree that it is always nice to have an exit strategy. The interesting thing is that at events like these, so many of us are nervous to find people to talk to, but we never say it! We’re all thinking the same thing.