Now I’m sure we all know from our favorite Sci-Fi time travel movie the 1st and most important rule of time travel is you cannot talk to your past self for fear of influencing them and altering the future. Since time travel is still not a possibility and therefore there is no chance my past self would ever read my blog here is the advice I’d give my past self.
To me earlier this week> Do not worry about telling a friend “NO”. A true friend respects your decisions and your right to change your mind.
To me last week> Do not worry about mixing in with groups of people that you do not have much in common with. If they invited you that means they are willing to find commonality. Oh, and don’t buy the sparkly shirt. You won’t wear it.
To me last month> Try not to be stressed by things at work just do your best. Also remember that everyone is not open to the idea of merging co-worker relationships into friendships. Do not take it personally.
To me six months ago> Do not forget to put on your makeup the night of your birthday party. Relax everyone that is supposed to be there will be there and everyone who should not be there won’t.
To me 1 year ago> Things will feel different now that dad is gone but you will be ok. Do not feel guilty for being happy without him. He would want you to be happy again. You are a lot stronger than you think. And you are strong enough to be alone. Don’t be afraid to let go of people who are not showing you the support that they should.
To me 2 years ago> If someone tells you they are the devil, believe them. Don’t be so quick to take on other people’s problems/responsibilities. Especially when they have not shown that they are able and willing to do the same for you.
To me 5 years ago> don’t make time for people who don’t make time for you. Be careful with your diet and health it is really easy to slip back into old habits. Homeownership is not as easy as you think. Definitely do it, but be prepared for some hurdles. Just because a guy is not lying it does not mean he is telling the full truth.
To me 10 years ago > Relax!!! Have more fun in college. Be serious about your grades but not too serious. Stop doing things because it is what a nice girl, good daughter, smart girl, etc… would do; instead do what you really want. Don’t worry your morals and values will guide you no need for the nice girl litmus test. Continue to follow your instincts and don’t second guess yourself. Trust your gut.
To me 15 years ago >Don’t be so hard on yourself. Be kind to yourself. Try harder to maintain contact with people. People change, sometime for better, sometimes not for better. Accept that people will go in and out of your life as they go through changes, just as you will go in and out of their lives. Do not take it personal when people go out of your life and be receptive when they come into your life.
I’d not tell my past self any specifics. I would not say don’t take that job, date that guy, go to that school or move to that neighborhood. I know all of the decisions of have made make me who I am. I’d just offer myself the general advice stated above in hope if allowing myself to experience a little more Joy and surprisingly a lot of the advice I’d give my past self I still need to hear today. What advice would you give you past self to have a more Joyful life?
Love the comment about the cheesburger by Marcia lol!
I would basically tell myself to listen more to my gut and my heart – I tend to lead with an analytical mind – always first seeing if something passes the logic test. It's good to have this side, but sometimes I've caused myself more pain and had to learn the long way because I didn't listen more to my innate instincts aka my gut. Now that I'm in my 30's I'm learning more on how to do that, and actually practice following it and it feels SO good. A lot more fulfilling for some reason…maybe it's because I feel like I'm working with the universe and not against it – this give me more JOY.
haha These are fabulous! Oh, how I can relate!
What a great post, as always your words inspire me. First you got me doing thankful Thursday posts and now you've got me putting essay like comments against posts, what next I wonder 🙂 Here goes:
To me last week – Don’t put too much on yourself keep your schedule fluid as life happens.
To me last month – It’s time to get into that room and clear it up, the month will be gone before you know it.
To me 6 mths ago – Twitter will be one of the best things that you will ever get involved in so why the hesitation, sign up now.
To me last year – One day at a time this time next year she’ll be 1 (my baby Sophia)and if you wish her life away, you’ll miss out on some amazing precious unrepeated moments. Thankfully I got a grip of myself 🙂
OMG, the things I would tell myself now. Too many too list here. Love Marcia's response ")
Great Post!
In response to Jim Horrell – I think its great that you have so much joy in your life that you don't think it appropriate to chase down more of it. Congratulations you are very fortunate! For me, I have a gazillion wonderful things that I am joyful for…but I am greedy and would not mind a surplus of joy; I am learning from this blog how to chase it relentlessly (can you really have too much?)
While I agree that you should cherish the small victories in life – can we not also dream BIG, work to enhance our blessings, and learn from the experiences of others? That is what I get out of this blog…don't rain on this parade mister!
In directe response to the blog entry:
To myself last week: don't eat the cheeseburger, you're getting older and it will cause indigestion.
To myself a year ago: eat the cheeseburger! you are pregnant and its the only time you will have carte blance food freedom!
To myself five years ago: don't eat the cheeseburger, your metabolism is slowing and those pounds come on quick girl!
To myself ten years ago: for goodness sake, EAT THE CHEESEBURGER, it's the only time in your life you won't have to worry about it!
All kidding aside, I would tell myself yesterday or 15 years ago to not be so serious, lighten up!
OH Gosh! I love this post! There are too many things I would tell myself, but ultimately it would be to start loving myself, TODAY! In retrospect, it was the root of all the evil I have had to endure in my adulthood.
Dear Chasing Joy,
I enjoy reading your perspective about life and the challenges it brings you and how you interpret adversity in your life and use it to motivate yourself to share and encourage others to grow and think about their lives in different ways.
I have a question for you. You say that you are chasing joy. I understand that to find joy after terrible things have happened to you is certainly a journey and not a sprint. It takes time for wounds to heal and emotional and sometimes spiritual pain must be overcome. My question is if you are continuing to chase joy, will you ever actually catch it? Maybe chasing joy will make you tired, exhausted, and frustrated, and there is no guarentee that you will catch it.
What advice would I give my past self to have a more Joyful life? You shouldn't chase joy to find it in your life. But look for joy in everyday events and experiences and people.
Count your blessings, cherish the small victories in life, and share your experiences with others.
Jim Horrell
I would tell myself don't get credit cards they will only give you problems in the long run. Everything else was meant to be – that could have changed a lot and cause much, much more joy and happiness in my life.