I am a 35 year old single woman with no kids (yet). I know I have a lot to be thankful for. My time is my own. My money is my own. I am only responsible for myself. However, I have to admit sometimes being a 35 year old single woman with no kids can be a lonely place.
At this stage in life I most of my friends are already settled into family life. I have friends who have babies, little ones transitioning into kindergarten, and big kids transitioning into college. I have friends who are newlyweds and friends who have years of married bliss (hopefully) behind them I am not at the same place as most of my friends. That means I often find myself feeling a little lonely on the weekends when it seems like everyone is doing family stuff. Like any good blogger I took my feelings to Pinterest and found a couple of really useful Pins about how to manage those feelings.
One thing that seemed to be a common them amongst these Pins was the tip to reach out to others. Even if in the midst of feeling lonely we feel like everyone is busy or like we don’t fit in, it is good to reach out anyway. The thing is we have to make sure we have people to reach out too. We have to invest in building healthy joyful relationships with others. To do this I thought the takeaways I picked up in church this week could come in handy.
As I mentioned in my VEDA Video Epic Tails 3 Church Takeaways, I think the pastor’s advice on how we can help our churches also applies to other things. We can apply these same 4 tips to building better relationships. So what are they:
- Invite: I tend to get nervous about inviting people into my home but I am working on it. Invite people into your home, to your favorite restaurants, to a movie, to your favorite park. etc.. Basically invite people into your life. Invite new people. Continue to invite old friends and family also. Don’t take them for granted or assume they know the invitation is always there.
- Serve: I am not as good at this as I should be. Offer to be of service to your friends. Offer to babysit, feed their pet when they are out of town, help them with a project, etc. Basically offer to be of service when you see a need, even if it is not expressed.
- Give: I think I do OK in this area but can always improve. In addition to giving of your time by serving others you can give financially too. No, I’m not saying pay people to be your friend or become their personally ATMs. Where we spend our money does say a lot about what we value. When you remember your friends at their birthdays and other times with a gift (even a very small one) shows that you value them. If you see something small that you know they would like get it for them. Treat for lunch or coffee sometimes. Basically don’t be cheap and stingy. Those people tend to not have many friends.
- Pray: I have been improving on this thanks to the Chasing Joy Prayer group where we pray for people each week. Most of us remember to pray for our friends who are sick or going through rough times. However, it’s good to just pray for our friends and family members regularly. You never know what they may be going through and not sharing. Also pray over your relationships in general that they would be fulfilling and strong. Prayer Works.
Wow, these are great resources. A post like this lets others know they are not alone in their feelings.
These are great tips and thanks for the resources. I have worked hard to not be lonely … been single more than not most of my parenthood life anyways. Love this post!
We all get lonely sometimes, but keeping good and positive people around you helps. Praying, friends and family are what will keep your grounded and happy.
I have the hardest time inviting folks to join me too. Even though I'm married, I want to be able to meet new people too. Great post
I can relate to how you are feeling. I am finding myself home alone most of the time now that my Daughter moved away for school and my Son is in college. I have been forcing myself to go out and do things to meet new people. These are great tips.
There are times when we all feel lonely, so this is a great reminder for everyone. I love the positive spin you're putting on this.
I'm 40, with my 2nd husband and step daughter and I am still lonely. These things don't define us. My biggest issue is that I am 2000 miles away from the only life I have known; which means, all of those years worth of friends.
Praying definitely helps me feel less lonely. I try to stay involved with my family, who brings me joy.
These are really good tips. Always be ready to reach out to others
Single people and married people can feel lonely. These are great tips.
I have been dealing with loneliness a lot lately. These tips are great and I will keep them in mind.
I think the tips you shared are not only great, they are caring and kind too. I am actually on the opposite end of the spectrum since I am in my thirties, married and a mother of three. I often yearn for more alone time.
I think I could probably star inviting more people to different things. We have a great location for barbecues so I could start there.
I'm right there with you. I'm married with no kids which means our friends with kids no longer invite us out or have time.. It's a weird transition!
These are all great ways to stop loneliness from taking over your life. I like to invite people to go to lunch with me! It doesn't have to be anywhere nice, even a fast food restaurant is fine if you're with friends!
I adore my family and friends, but I have to admit that I have anxiety when they come over. I always worry that my house isn't clean enough or neat enough.
I love your tips and suggestions. Things everyone should keep in mind and read and think about.
With a husband and kids, I rarely feel lonely. Sometimes it creeps in when I'm at conferences. That's when I bust out my phone.
Those are all great ways to keep from being lonely. I think being around other people helps.
I totally understand your first tip. I get so nervous with the idea of inviting people to come over and hang out.
I am a mom and wife and although it's a wonderful life…sometimes i do miss having my own money and time! I wouldn't change my life now but at times I wish I could turn it off for a day or two! Good luck on your journey and enjoy your current journey now as it is!
This post came right on time. I'm 36 and childless and most of my friends have families, leaving me on the outside looking in sometimes. I appreciate being able to travel when I want and spend my money how I see fit, but this lifestyle can definitely be quite lonely. Do you ever feel that your friends with families make insensitive/judgmental things about your lifestyle? I had a friend say something today that I think I may be overreacting to about she just couldn't do something that I plan to do because she'd be too lonely and I was offended. I think I'm probably being hypersensitive, but wonder if you have ever reacted similarly to comments/questions about where you are in life?
We are in the same boat. 35 and single with no kids. I'll definitely be checking out the links you shared on loneliness.
Yes we are YaYa R. It's good to know I'm not the only one