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| Rocking the Go Get’em Dress! |
So I have not been doing that well lately. This is one of those confession type posts where I revel that I have sort of stumbled and let Joy get quite a few yards ahead of me.
So what is wrong you ask, you ask. It’s my confidence. It seems to have taken a little vacation. Now logically I know just how awesome I am. I know that I’m smart, pretty, funny, and an overall great person. But I just have not been feeling that way. I have not been feeling very good about myself and it sucks. As a matter of fact it double sucks because I know better.
What has brought this on? I think it is a combo of two things. For one, the lovely new title of Morbidly Obese that has been bestowed upon me has been weighing on me heavily. There is nothing like being told something you already know and knowing your going to have to discuss it again in a few short weeks. In defense of my doctor. He was not mean to me or anything. He went over my chart and just emphasized how I have to keep trying to get this weight off. That in time the complications from carrying this weight are very serious. It’s just hard when someone points out that although I have been working on treating my body like a temple and getting healthier it has not showed results on the scale or on my waistline.
The other thing weighing on me is participating in this thing we call the dating game. It can be rough out here for a 30 something awesome chick such as myself. Just the other day a very handsome, yet not too bright, gentleman declined to take my phone number after we’d had a rather pleasant conversation that included lots of smiling and laughter. Hence my hypothesis that he is not too bright.
So it is this deadly combo of dating woes and feeling really conscious of my weight that has me not feeling so good about myself. But don’t worry this post will not leave you on a sad and dreary note. As I said above I know better. I know that feelings are just feeling and not always a true reflection of reality. So while I may not feel great about myself I know it will pass and I’ll be back to feeling my awesome self again.
There are all sorts of things people do to get themselves out of this kind of funk. One of my friends swears by buying a new shade of lipstick. I don’t think that will do it for me. But the other day, the very same day that Mr. Handsome proved that he was not Mr. Intelligent, I was feeling better than I had in a really long long time. I was all dressed up and I had some place to go. A black tie fundraiser. I had on what Beyonce might call a Freak’em Dress. But I’ll call it a go get’em dress. I knew I was looking my best and was feeling more confident than I had felt in months. This confidence is what lead me to approach the man in the first place (that is not my usual style).
Even though that did not go how I had hoped I’m still feeling better about myself. So while I cannot say I’m feeling my best or as confident as I should. I do feel I am on the up swing. My advice to anyone who may be feeling like I’ve been feeling get dressed up and see just how fabulous you are. Sometime it takes an external reminder of how fabulous you are to help you feel that way on the inside.
Don’t let decreased self confidence or not feeling good about yourself throw you off your course toward Joy. Remember that feelings are not reality, that this too shall pass, and put on your freak’em, your go get’em dress or your brand new lipstick and remind yourself how awesome you are.
I’m sure we all go through periods like this Joy Chasers. What do you do to build up your confidence and feel good about yourself?
Gah! Must be in the air, been feeling the same way! It's awful how weight can be such a strong confidence barometer. Why do we do this to ourselves? Weight has nothing to do with our value or anything that is remotely important. It's largely based on genetics which we have no control over – definitely a joy stealer!
I say if we are chasing joy (and I am too) it's time to drop the weight "weight" 🙂
stopping by from SITS and so glad I did!
Oh and mama u look super fab in that dress!
I know exactly how you feel. I've been told the same thing by my doctor (and I try very hard to lose weight). But just keep telling yourself how great you are and you'll star to feel it again. And don't worry about that guy. What a jerk! You don't need him anyway.
What a good question lol – I recently had a discussion with a friend where I told her I lost my self-confidence recently, to which she replied, "but did you ever really have any"? This is what best friends are for – having the discussions that other people can't have with you because it would be offensive. But from my best friend, I knew it was simply an observation. I replied "you know, I'm not really sure, but either way I was still innocent enough to think I had some" and we both laughed. Still, I surprisingly was not offended by this conversation. But it did leave me in the awkward situation of trying to figure out how to find self confidence. And you're right, dressing up always helps. Keep the tips on this coming.
PS. I think you're pretty awesome, and I agree Mr. Handsome did not prove to be Mr. Intelligent. I'm sorry I won't be able to see you this weekend, but maybe we could hang out soon? Talk blogs all afternoon? Keep smiling my dear 🙂
Girl – I have to agree, you are fabulous! A lot of times, when I'm feeling in that kind of funk, I make a point to be more social with my girlfriends. Whether it's going to HH after work or just catching a movie, it's always amazing what good girlfriend time will do. My other sure fire way to feel better is to play dress-up with the clothes in my closet. Sometimes when we're in a funk, buying a rack of new stuff only makes it worse (shoppers remorse anyone). But, I find that wearing the things in my closet in new and creative ways always puts a little pep in my step!
I hope these tips help. And, if you need a girlfriend to take you out, you know you can always call me!
Thanks Brenda! I just might take your advice:-)
Thanks Alison. Sometimes I get nervous about these types of post. But I really want this to be a safe enviornment for people to be open and honest. What better way to show that than to be open and honest myself.
GF! You are beautiful! What the hell do doctors know. They go based off an "ideal" weight which imo is a bunch of crap. Buy yourself a pretty bra, nice pair of panties and rock em! That's one way I get outta my "not so pretty" kinda funk. 🙂 Hang tough! ~hugs~
"Sometimes it takes an external reminder of how fabulous you are to help you feel that way on the inside." I like this! Whenever I'm experiencing exactly what you described in this post, I do just that: get dolled up, smile at myself in the mirror, and remember that this, too, shall pass. Confidence thieves are not welcome here! LOL! Great post, Arlet, and I love that you put your vulnerabilities out there. We can relate!