Joy Chasers, we are so lucky! We have a Weekend Guest. This weekend I am happy to welcome SweetMJ. SweetMJ is the author of the blog A Girl Named Michael. A Girl Named Michael is where you go to read about the strange thoughts and adventures of a loud mouth small town girl full of contradictions. I have never read one of her posts without laughing. I absolutely love her blog and am honored to have her as our Weekend Guest. Here is her post: Chasing Joy and Kids
First off I am so excited to be sharing over at Chasing Joy. I am a huge fan of this blog and the message it gives. Finding Joy.
My name is Michael and I blog about my mad cap adventures over at A Girl Named Michael. Mostly I just go on and on about nothing (I may be the Seinfeld of the blogging world).
When I started writing this post months and months ago I had an idea but could never get it to work “on paper”. Until recently when I made a pledge to embrace my current season of life. To me that means Chasing Joy in the place I am at right now. Which is often easier said than done.
About 8 months ago I made the fateful decision to move in with The BF, this meant that for at least half the week I would be living with his 2 kids (13 year old boy and 6 year old girl). I didn’t think this would be that big of a deal, after all I had lived with my sister and her 2 kids and that worked out pretty good for everyone.
Some how in my deluded mind single with no kids mind I thought playing “pseudo” step-mom was not that big of a deal. I figured it would be the same as playing aunt. So boy was I shocked when it was vastly different.
Lets be honest being a stepparent is hard and being dads live in girlfriend is even worse (despite having a very good relationship with The BFs exwife). And I started to resent a few things and I found myself “hiding” in our bedroom a lot.
Then one day while driving around with the 6 year old girl we had this conversation:
•6 year old: MJ why do you have Tashi (my 8 year old rottweiler).
•Me: Because I dont have kids and Tashi is like my kid.
•6 year old: OOOHHH (then she is quite for a minute) MJ?
•Me: What?
•6 year old: But your kind of like my mom right?
•Me: Yes I guess I kind of am.
•6 year old: So that kind of makes me your kid right?
•Me: Yes it does.
I know a lot of people won’t agree but the 6 year old is correct I do play the mom role a lot. Lots of mothering and cleaning up and cooking and doing hair…and loving.
Its not always fun and its not always perfect but now instead of being resentful I am Chasing Joy and Kids.
Connect with SweetMJ‘s Blog at http://agirlnamedmichael-mj.blogspot.com/ . To find out more about SweetMJ visit her page on Facebook and follow her @SweetMJ on Twitter.
If you’d like to be a weekend guest email me your post at joychasing@yahoo.com and find additional information on guest posting qualifications here.
Thanks for sharing this story, MJ. That's sweet of the 6-year-old. Pretty smart of her to figure that relationship out, too.
Good luck with your new family – man AND kids.
Yeah MJ guest post is awesome. I am not in your place so I can only say love them like they are yours and good things may follow.Blended families are work but so are my kids family and life. Good luck. I have missed you lately
Be tender with their hearts and you might want to have a discussion with their father about what happens if the two of you break up. It can be quite difficult for the children to have a pseudo step-parent in their life then suddenly gone because their dad (or mom) breaks up with them. I say this because I had a man in my life for eleven years and when I broke up with him he decided not to allow my girls to stay in his life. It broke their hearts.
I hope if anything happens that you will always be available to that little girl who obviously is coming to love you as one of her parent figures.
I am glad you are finding such joy in your life.
Peace,
Morgan
This is sooooo sweet! Congrats on the new family!!!
I am glad that you are willing to help guide and raise children that aren't your own. Even if they aren't yours, they are a part of your life several days a week and you have an impact of them.
It is definitely a challenge and I commend you for accepting it!
MJ, this is so sweet! You didn't just find your man, you found your children. I bet you'll fit in just perfectly as you find joy.
Thanks for letting me share my Chasing Joy story.