Today is my mom’s birthday and I am thinking about generational curses. I know those two things don’t seem like they go together. Furthermore, generational curses definitely don’t sound joyful. But that’s what’s on my mind right now.
A few days ago I saw something on social media about praying for God’s help and breaking generational curses. I am very blessed to be part of a wonderful family. So, my initial thought was we don’t have any generational curses in our family.
However, yesterday I realized we do. With my mom’s birthday being today she has been heavily on my mind. I’ve dreamt of her the last two nights. In the first night’s dream my mom was actively encouraging and motivating me in my journey is a new mom. In the second dream my mom was protecting me from danger and making me feel safe. These dreams have reminded me of the kind of mom I want to be for Baby Joy Chaser. I want to always be there to encourage and motivate him. I always want to be a safe place where he can be fully himself and feel secure and protected.
I realized that in order to be that kind of mom, there is indeed a generational curse that I have to break. That curse is lack of grandparents.
I grew up without my grandparents. Technically my maternal grandmother passed away when I was 12 so I do have some memories of her. Like she taught me how to crochet. However I never got to experience having a grandparent as an adult. My dad’s parents both died before I was born. This isn’t something that weighted heavily on my day to day. But, I definitely felt sad at times and still do feel a bit envious of my friends who have grandparents who are well into their 80s and 90s.
Tomorrow is my mom’s birthday and she is no longer here to celebrate it. She passed away over 2 years ago, 7 years after my dad had passed away. So now I have Baby Joy Chaser who doesn’t have any grandparents.
Death is a major Joy Thief. I’m sad for my parents that they did not get to experience him. I’m sad for him that he can’t learn all the amazing things that they would have taught him. And I’m sad for me that I don’t get to witness any of it. Coming from home from the hospital as a new mom and not having my own mom here to help me was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever experienced. I grieved and cried for her as if she had just passed away. Talk about a Joy Thief during what was also one of the best times of my life!
I know Baby Joy Chaser will be okay just like I am. We are blessed to have my aunts, his Grand-Aunts, who will be very happy to show up for grandparents day at daycare and atvany other place where a grandparent would be present. But it’s sad that they have to.
So as I think about my mom on her birthday I’m realizing that this is a generational curse that needs to be broken. Now I obviously know I cannot control things such as life and death. Infertility, chemical pregnancies, and miscarriage taught me that. However the reality is poor lifestyle choices played major roles in my parents having passed away when they did. Another reality is I find myself making my own poor life choices when it comes to my diet and Fitness. Now is the time for me to make a change and do my part to end this generational curse.
I hope baby Joy chaser decides to become a parent one day. When that day comes I want to be here to see it. If I’m lucky enough to have a daughter, or daughter-in-law who will allow it, I want to be there during those first few weeks of my grandbaby’s life. I want to come to Grandparents Day and tell my grandchildren stories about the good old days.
So, I have to get it together. This won’t be easy. But the good news is I don’t have to make changes overnight. I’ve always enjoyed being strong and a consistent gym goer. But it’s quite challenging to get there consistently now that I have my little one. I also find myself struggling with my diet and making poor choices when I finally can sit down and eat a meal uninterrupted after he’s gone to sleep. I’m sure other moms, and not just single mothers by choice, can relate. But I have great motivation. Baby Joy Chaser is amazing and I want to be here for him as long as God will allow. So I am committing to doing what ever I can to break this generational curse and one day be an active and involved grandma.
Have any generational curses plagued your family? Are you ready to make a change for yourself and your offspring?