A few days ago I had a conversation that did not go how I wanted or expected. This has left me rather disappointed. So, I have been feeling pretty down the last few days. Disappointment is something we all have to learn to deal with so that it is merely a road bump on our path to joy as opposed to a road block. Whether we feel disappointed in ourselves, others, or circumstances we have to figure out a healthy and positive way to deal with it.
Since I don’t have all of the answers I reached out to my most brilliant Facebook friends and fans. Here is how a few of them respond to disappointment. I posted the following question on the Chasing Joy Facebook Page and shared it on my personal page and in a FB group.
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Chasing Joy FB fan Jennifer replied, “Usually with a bag of chips or cookies. Not a method I recommend. Need to work on that.” I’m sure many of us can relate to turning to food at times.
My DC #CJBL co-host @Curvy_CEO replied, “I focus on the facts and ask myself why I am feeling disappointed and if there is anything I could possibly do differently in the future to avoid the situation again.” I like her advice to ask ourselves exactly why we are disappointed. Sometimes we don’t give our true feelings enough attention.
@CheveuxSouffles offered this advice, “Well first I accept it. Then for me I understand that not getting something at that moment means that either it’s not time yet or the right opportunity for me is coming. But I don’t focus too long. That’s the mistake many make….thinking too long on the disappointment. I keep going knowing it’s not over yet.“. I like that her advice relies on having faith that the disappointment really means the timing is off or the right opportunity is coming. I also like that she advises against wallowing in it by thinking about it too long.
A really good friend of mine, Angel, commented, “For the most part (because I’m perfectly – imperfect and have my days lol) I try to acknowledge the disappointment, as it comes. I think that lying to ourselves is neglectful, and further stands to harm us, because we still have those feelings building up on the inside. Depending on how severe the disappointment, or if it’s someone that I am disappointed in, I’ll access whether or not it is something I need to share, discuss with them, or not. No matter how disappointed I am in any situation, I always try to figure out a way to resolve those feelings, by dealing, then healing, so I don’t become stuck… because it’s best to continue moving forward.” I like that her approach takes into account deciding if the disappointment is something that needs to be discussed further to help in the dealing and healing process.
See, I told you Joy Chasers are super smart. As I am in the midst of dealing with my own disappointment, I will rely on their advice as well as the advice I received last week. I will focus on being kind to myself. I will also keep in mind that disappointment can cause me to rely on food to feel better. I will work on not going that route but take comfort in the fact that others react similarly. I will think about things I could do differently to avoid a similar outcome in the future. I will accept that this has happened, but rely on my faith that something better is on the way. I will acknowledge my feelings, figure out exactly why I feel disappointed, vent as necessary and then move on.
How do you deal with disappointment? Do you agree or disagree with any of the advice from above?
PS. Don’t forget to Join in the #ChasingJoy Birthday twitter party on Wednesday 8pm EST.
yup, this is sure true… you don't know your true character until you have one of these life moments and we all will one day.
I love this! Even in my offering advice, I've also learned a few things. I enjoyed reading everyone's post, and I'll be figuring out ways I can implement this awesome advice into my life. Thanks Chasing Joy/F4L!
Awww. Glad my advice was helpful. (((Hugs)))