Here is a post that will make all of you married Joy Chasers happy you are no longer a part of the dating scene.
I have menteioned in a few other posts that I am single and looking. While being in a relationship is not a prerequisite for Chasing Joy, I do think it is a journey that would be much more fun shared. So I have been making an effort to find my Mr. Joy Chaser. I’ve mentioned to friends that I am looking to meet new people, have been going out more often, and have joined a couple of dating sites.
I have never made a love connection via online dating. But, I have met some really nice guys that I still keep in touch with. So, overall I have had pretty decent experiences with online dating. That is until this weekend.
A month or so ago I was browsing a dating site that I am a member of and came across a profile that I found intersting. I sent him (who will be known as CAJT – Crazy Ass Joy Thief for the remainder of this post) a message and he responded with a message of his own. After a few days of emailing we exchanged numbers and CAJT and I began talking and texting regularly. He SEEMED nice, stable, responsible and not at all like a Crazy Ass Joy Thief.
We had our first date. Just a bite to eat at a mutually agreed upon location. I drove myself. I was taken aback by how shy he was but over all it was a decent date. We had our 2nd date. That one had more of a rough start. He got lost and was really late arriving at our agreed upon location. When he finally arived we enjoyed a quick bit to eat and then a movie. After the movie we walked the mall and he earned a few bonus points by buying me the book I needed to read for my book club. That’s definately not the actions of a CAJT.
There were a few weeks between our second and third dates as we had Christmas and then New Years occupying our time. On the third date CAJT decided to come out of his shy shell and reaveal his true crazy self. I’ll save some time and not give you the full blow by horrific blow and only high-light or should I say low-light the worst parts of the date includeing the big reveal of a whole lot of crazy.
Because CAJT and I had communicated quite a bit and been on two decent dates I felt comfortable with him picking me up. He was two hours late. I had just text him canceling when he said he was at my house. I went because I was still dressed and he was right outside. (I’m glad I went because if I hadn’t I’d still not know he was CAJT). He did not plan the date well and I ended up suggesting a bowling alley for us. The car ride conversation revealed that he was a bit too conservative (for my liking) regarding gay people and white people adopting black chlderen. FYI, me and CAJT are both black. During bowling he was not friendly at all to the people in the lane next to us. He was also way too quiet. Needless to say I was already feeling like me and CAJT were not really a good match. As we were leaving the bowling alley he opend up his mouth and the Crazy came pooring out!!!
CAJT revealed that he is a member of a group that studies Ancient Egyptian Mysticism. He said he’d had to be initiated to join, they spend their meetigns handing out pamphlets and “propagating”, and that the group helped him with his spiritual studies and focus. He meditated using CDs they provided which help him to focus so he could get a better job and not have to “WORK FOR THE BEAST” that’s right he said “THE BEAST” he clarified that by the beast he ment The Devil. He continued on to say America along with Europe, China, and India are all “EVIL”. He further confirmed his craziness by explaining that he used his mind to practice “PSYCHIC WARFARE” which helped him repelled evil forces.
Now you understand why he has so rightfully earned the title Crazy Ass Joy Thief. Needless to say I will not be seeing him again. Now I am just sorry I gave him my address to pick me up 🙁 He seemed to uderstand later when I explained that our spiritual values were too different for us to be compatible. So I don’t anticipate any trouble from CAJT.
Now I’m left feeling like maybe it’s time for me to take a little brake from trying to find Mr. Joy Chaser. Is this the Universe’s/God’s way of telling me to stop trying to force it, that love will find me and I don’t have to look for it? What do you think Joy Chasers? Did you find your joy chasing partners when you were or were not looking? If you are single and looking like me have you ever had a date as bad as this one? If so please tell me about.
Dating can be hit or miss with dating sites. My aunt actually met her husband on one and they now have two boys together. Truly remarkable!
What a nightmare! I tried a dating site many years ago and he was a FREAK!! Like, in a major way. After we broke up, I was afraid of him staling me, but he went home and left me be!
I'd say chill out and just let things happen naturally. Online dating isn't for everyone. Once I stopped looking, my husband was right there in front of my face.
Crazies are everywhere, not just online. Wish you the best finding Mr Right
Dating is hard – no matter what the age. It's too bad he was a crazy, but at least you can laugh about it now.
When my first husband and myself divorced and I landed 2000 miles away, I really didn't take the time to be single. I started dating right away. Dated a few and then dated one for a year. Broke up. 3 weeks later started dating husband number 2. 7 years later, we are divorcing. I think, I am ok with being alone and having my own joy for the time being.
I've wanted to try it but I'm too scared. Maybe I will be open in 2016, until then I'll read all of the stories…lol
Whoa…so much crazy in the world. It's why Im so thrilled to be married and not have to deal with that. Told my husband he never has to worry about me asking for a divorce because the dating world scares the crap out of me.
I'm sorry it didn't work out. It can be hard to put yourself out there, but it's good you're willing to try.
I have been trying to get back into the dating scene. There are so many guys that seem sane at first but then the crazy comes out. It is almost enough to make me want to give up sometimes.
That is definitely quite the story but it brought to light more things that you do not want in a partner, so it was a good life lesson. I love the meaning of CAJT too!
Yikes! I guess sometimes it takes more than one date to find out if you're compatible with someone. That was one strange character.
Wow! He certainly does sound like a loon! I am glad you found out now instead of later after spending more time on him.
Oh man, sounds like quite a roller coaster ride you went on there! After the two normal dates and the time emailing and texting, it must have been a surprise. I met my husband after I stopped trying to look, but I know several people who did meet their spouse through online dating. I'm not sure there's one right answer. Good luck!
Well, I have to say I have my fair share of CAJTs too! At least it makes for a good story and life lesson.
I had to laugh at your nickname for him, but so sorry this date didn't pan out. Sometimes people ask me if I would have like to experience the dating scene (I've been with my husband since we were 17) and after reading stories like these, absolutely not. Good luck finding your Mr. Right!
Dating isn't always the easiest but you'll find the right guy. There will definitely be some crazies that you come across but it's all about the journey!
Oh wow, what an interesting date! Sounds like the kind of guy I always attracted when I was dating.
It sounds like he used his mind powers to repel a second date! I shouldn't be smiling at this, but I am. People are nuts, sometimes!
That is crazy. Stories like that make me happy I have been married for 20 years. I met my husband at work when I was 18 and not really looking.
Wow. I think it's fortunate when people show themselves quickly into a relationship like this. It saved you some time! I think what you told time was perfect too; honest but not personal to any shortcomings personal to him.
Wow. I think it's fortunate actually when people show themselves so clearly early on. It saved you some time certainly. I think what you told him was perfect too.
What a story. He probably made up the weird religion story to throw you off.
I'm glad you can laugh about it!
I've on more than one occasion wondered if I am somehow attracted to conspiracy theorists… Ha.
I am currently happily married, so I don't have any advice, just comments.
It's hard dating in your 30's and 40's which is where I am right now. I do not exactly have a positive attitude about dating. I've been through a rough couple of "relationships", if that is what you want to call it. I really dont know if i WILL find someone. I get caught up in drama and whatever. i dont know what to do.
Oh my goodness, honey. At least it made a good story (which is usually what I tell myself when I end up in a hot mess). Enjoy your day today and make sure to do something special 🙂 xo
Poor girl! You proved that the first impression is not always right. Still, it is experience for you, Hope, you won't make such mistakes in future. Indeed, dating with stranger is quite dangerous.
Oh no! He sounds scary. Unfortunately, there are a lot of crazies out there. I met hubby when I was least expecting it when a friend kind of set us up. I'm sure you will find Mr. right, probably when you are least expecting it.
EEP, Glad you are alright after that experience. Dating is strange to begin with and online dating is a new breed of weirdness. I have a friend who uses match and she called her potential dates "match men".
Hello Joy,
Well first, I am very sorry to hear that you had to endure a CATJ! That was crazy. I'm glad you are safe and that he didn't try to harm you or stalk you. It's alot of crazies running around Philly these days and you can't be too careful.
You asked is this the Universe's/God's way of telling you to stop trying to force it? Absolutely!God loves you and only wants the best for you. While you seek him and his kingdom, he will then bring the right man into your life. He knows your heart, what you desire, and what your needs are. When Mr. Right comes, he will exceed your expectations.
I've had 3 major relationships in my life. One was a marriage. They were all toads, but they taught me alot about what I know I DON'T want in my life. I had just broke up with my youngest son's father and kicked this other young man to the curb (cause he couldn't get right either). I prayed to God specifically for what I wanted, wrote it out on paper, put it in my Bible and I completely let it go. I was planning on just being single for a while. My joy chasing partner snuck up on me. A friendship was rekindled 1st then the love came. I wasn't looking for a relationship at the time. I had settled on the fact that I was going to be single for a while. He's the best thing that ever happened to me (outside of God and becoming a mother). I am humble because God answered my prayers. If he did it for me he can do it for you. He can do anything! Trust him and wait on his timing!
JaniceR.
I met my Hubby when I had started a new job. We worked in different offices but I spent most of my days on the phone or emailing him about work things. That eventually led to personal conversations, texting outside of work, phone time outside of work, hanging out, dating, moving in together and getting married. I hadn't planned for it to go that way. I was single mom of 3 teens. He is younger than me. I tried to tell him he didn't want to strap himself down with the baggage that would come with my kids & I. He wouldn't take no for an answer. I'm glad.
When its time for it to happen, it will happen.
#CommentHour
I'm with Morgan, just wow! What amazes me with these people is how they manage to hide the crazy for so long before it all coming pouring forth like water from a cracked dam!
I too am beginning to look again after a period of healing following a marriage breakup. It's intimidating! Again I'm with Morgan … all you can do is love yourself and be the best person you can be to make yourself happy, and trust that this will bring you what you desire.
Great read and best of luck, may the next one you meet be the one you are looking for!
I am sure Mr Right is just round the corner you just need to find the right corner 🙂
Wow… Simply Wow. All I can say is love yourself… Love Love Love yourself and the right guy will come along. The more you radiate self love the more they (the good guys) want to be around you.
On the Blog Hopping Train! #Commenthour 😀
Peace,
Morgan
I was fed up with the dating scene and was enjoying single life when – surprise – I met the fellow I'm now married to. Life is funny that way!
Just keep chasing joy and Mr. Right just may start chasing you.
Nice seeing you at #commenthour tonight! 🙂
Tui
Glad you got away from the craziness! It is tough dating….and I have to tell you I am glad I am out of that game.
But I do believe that you find love when you least expect it. Hang in there!
I was in the dating scene for a short time in between my high school love and my true happiness love. I also went on to dating sites and I had a lot of Mr. Fun's but not Mr. Right for me! But I had a blast needless to say. I even tried the bar scene – still a lot of fun but no one for ever. I suggest you buy something new LARGE scale. I met my hubby while buying my quad!! We have been togehter ever since!!
Hunniiiii…been i this plae time and time again. These type of people like to prey on the good ones like yourself and try to get in their heads. Online is a risky business but can be beneficial. I found my joy from just finding an old HS friend. Neither of us were looking to hook up/date. We talked, texted, went out and we just clicked. I had actuall given up on looking because of the foolery that I constantly encountered. So I say glad you got way from him but hang in there! He is right next to you and you may not even know it!
At times I do feel like I want to give up on looking but I want to have chldren someday so my search continues.
I feel you on this one. There are a lot of crazies out there. It's sorta hard to weed them out online because they can present a good game there and in their initial meeting/date. Glad you escaped!
Unfortunately I have dated crazies that I did not meet online. But your right it does take longer to weed them out.