How to Keep a Bad Moment from Stealing Your Joy

For my last birthday a friend of mine gave me Joyce Meyer’s book Living Beyond Your Feelings.  I did not start reading it right away.  But I have been reading it little by little in the mornings for the last few weeks.  The few pages I read this morning were about how easy it is for us to get stuck in our negative thoughts.

The reason these particular pages resonated with me is because I am guilty.  One thing will go wrong or not as expected.  The next thing I know my thoughts have gone on this downward stream of consciousness where each thought is more negative than the one before it.  Someone will say something that upsets me.  Then I’ll start thinking how mean people are rehashing every mean thing people have said.  Next I’ll start to get down on myself for not having had the appropriate snappy comebacks.  And then suddenly other people’s lack of respect has become my own fault.  And the negative thoughts just continue on and on until I or often someone else like my mom or a friend snaps me out of it.  Now, you see why I must continue Chasing Joy.

Of course Ms. Meyer had a suggestion for this problem in those few pages.  She suggest stopping that downward spiral of negative thoughts by thinking about something positive.  That got me to thinking.  I should come up with a list of go to thoughts that I could turn to and concentrate on when something bad happens to keep me from spiraling out.  For me the easiest thoughts are memories.  So here are a few memories that will become my go to thoughts to reset my mind after a negative experience.

• Buying my first Car – I did my research myself.  I had a friend who had her dad’s old Nissan Sentra.  She had had it for a while and the car was over 10 years old and still going.  I decided that was what I wanted.  I knew I could not afford a new car so I looked for a used one.  I found I could go the haggle free way by buying through Enterprise Car Sales.  I found they had the car I wanted, a used 2005 Nissan Sentra, at the local lot.  My dad and I went together to get it.  It was Columbus Day 2005.  When we go their they could not find the keys.  I was thinking this was a sign to not buy the car as I had prayed heavily over this purchase.  While they attempted to locate the keys my dad and I drove to the closes Nissan dealership.  They did not have any used 2005 Sentras.  They showed us the New 2006 Sentra.  Which was several thousand more than I could afford.  While we were talking to the salesmen at the dealership the Enterprise salesman called to say they found the keys.  We hurried back to the used lot where we found that the used 2005 Nissan Sentra was the same in every way, including what was under the hood, as the New 2006 Sentra.  I felt so confident in my purchase as I signed the papers and drove off in my car.  I understood that all of that happened as a way to reassure me that this was the car for me.  My dad was proud of me for my research and securing my own financing.  It was an awesome day. 
• The day I picked out my cat Peanut.  I went to the SPCA to get a cat.  I knew I wanted a kitten because they are so little and cute.  Peanut was in a cage with two other kittens.  The SPCA person said they were his brothers but they looked nothing like him.  Peanut is black and white and the other two were a brownish pattern.  Peanut was the smallest of the three.  I picked him because he was the runt and because his black and white patter was similar to the black and white pattern of my dad’s cat.  I signed for him and agreed to have him fixed as was the SPCA’s requirement.  I took him home a few days latter.  He has been terrorizing, I mean keeping me company, ever since.  LOL 
• My 1st trip to Las Vegas.  This was my first trip going out of town with a man.  I felt like a grown up in a way that I never did prior to this trip.  I went with my ex-boyfriend and several friends from college.  I was surrounded by people who I loved being around and who loved being around me and none of them were family.  Which means our relationships were completely by choice.  We had fun; ate, dance, gambled, and went to shows.  We laughed a lot.  Even though that relationship did not work out I felt 100 percent secure in it at that time.  That was an awesome feeling that I look forward to experiencing again.

Thoughts are fluid some need to pass through like water through a strainer while others need to be contained stored for later use.  These are the thoughts and memories that I choose to store and use when ever something bad happens.  These thoughts are the ones I’ll turn to to keep me from that downward spiral into negativity.  What are some of your positive thoughts or memories that you can go to when something starts to bring you down and steal your Joy?

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