My friends Grand bundle of joy is a girl, So the decorations were full of with pinks and purples. They were all beautiful including a Unicorn themed cake with lights. One of the decorations that will also be a Memento for the parents-to-be was a board where we were to write down our words of wisdom for the new parents. It’s funny how before I had a child I had no problem offering words of wisdom. Now that I’m a mom, who admittedly doesn’t know what she’s doing half the time, I had no clue what to write.
So I thought about it for a few more minutes and wrote down what’s been working for me. Get sleep whenever you can and take advantage of your village.” The only reason I was able to attend the shower without Baby Joy Chaser was because my Village, my brother and sister-in-law. We’re watching him.
It truly does take a village to raise a child. It’s not just a cliche. Parenting is hard. It is the most exhausting job but also one of the most fulfilling. I’m simultaneously overwhelmed and ecstatic to be a mom. But I cannot do it on my own. I have a village. Not the village that I imagined. As I am I am often very sad that my mom is not here helping me to raise my little boy. But I have awesome cousins and my brother and sister-in-law and aunts and Friends who’ve all been super supportive.
Now that I am a mom I think back on the advice that I’ve given other women over the years on Chasing Joy, at Casing Joy events, and through the Joy Makeover program and I 100% stand by the things that I said. I still believe that happy moms have happy children and happy families. However, I understand so much more the importance of relationships. Having healthy relationships with people that you can trust is Pparamount when it comes to being a happy mom.
To be a happy mom you need to have some time for yourself for self-care and healthy habits. You need time and encouragement to pursue your goals. You need people in your corner who will support you in your faith practices and raising your children in accordance with those traditions. In essence you need people to help you Chase Joy. I understand this so much more now. So my advice to any mom who hasn’t done so already, and to any future mom, especially if it will be a solo project like my single mother by choice Journey, is to build your support system.
So here is a snapshot of what my support system looks like. The Inner Circle people who I actually have allowed to be alone with my child. These include my brother, sister-in-law, my nieces, my aunt, and my cousins. So basically that’s family LOL. Next up are the people who’ve I’ve allowed to be around and interact with Baby J chaser when supervised that includes the daycare, other family, lifelong friends, and a woman from my church group who provides child care services. Next up are the people who provide me with encouraging words, advice, and a place to vent. These include co-workers, friends, women from the local single mother by choice group, and women from my church group. Last but certainly not least are social media friends and blog readers!
Yes, don’t underestimate the value of social media especially for a single mother by choice. Oftentimes when the baby is doing the cutest things I’m the only one to see it. it’s just me and him. I don’t have a husband to say oh honey did you see that or my mom here to witness it with me. So being able to share those moments in my Instagram stories, on Facebook, Twitter and IG makes me feel not alone in those moments. Because even in the happiest times when the baby is doing the cutest things it can be sad to not have anyone to share it with. That’s your support really comes through.
So that’s my Village both in person and virtual. So if you want to be a happy mom get you a village!
What does your village look like? Who’s there to give you much needed support? Who’s there to help you get a break so you can have some time just for yourself?
If you feel like your support system is lacking and you’re in the Philadelphia area check out the mama day off event that’s coming up in March. There will be opportunities for you to connect with other moms and build that Village. Also you can meet me because I’ll be speaking.