There can be many things standing in the way of your happiness and preventing you from having the joyful life you want. This past week I was reminded of one that has been in my way for a long time.
Years ago I considered myself an excellent judge of character. In college I spent time with a few friends. Occasionally a new person would enter our group. Every now and then I’d have a reaction to the new person. I would have this gut feeling that something was not right with the person. Based on this feeling I’d be nice to the person but I’d also keep my distance. Without fail, at some point in the months that followed the new person would do something weird, disloyal, or mean spirited. I would feel bad about whatever happened but I would also feel glad that I had trusted my gut and kept my distance.
Then it happened. I got involved with a guy who completely pulled the wool over my eyes. He was a superb manipulator and lead me to believe he was someone he wasn’t. I spent years with him before I found out who he really was; a liar, cheater, deadbeat dad, and con artist. That breakup was really rough on me. I have since recovered and had other relationships since then. However, one side effect has lingered and it is negatively impacting my joyful life.
I lost confidence in my ability to trust my gut. Time and time again I have asked myself how did he get pass me? How come I did not get that feeling I usually get when someone up to no good comes into my life? Why didn’t I catch him in any of his lies? Where was my women’s intuition, and did it even exist 🙁
Logically I know the answer is because he was a con-artist and not just the average person being fake or disingenuous. But since then I have ignored my gut instincts and 2nd guessed my decisions. This past week I had an experience where I ignored my gut instinct and have since realized it’s time to stop.
I had the opportunity to get involved in something that I was not all that gung-ho about. It was supposed to be a good thing but I just had a feeling that it was not for me. My gut instinct was to say no. However other people I knew were getting involved and I began to second guess my initial no. So I changed my mind and got involved. Well, my experience was not good. The details of my experience are not all that important and what happened was not a big deal. However, it did leave me feeling upset. A little bit upset about what happened, but most of all I feel upset with myself for ignoring my gut instinct..
I remember what it was like when I used to trust myself. I remember saying to friends “I don’t know what it is but I just have a bad feeling” and being 100% OK with that explanation. Guess what? I am still that same person. My gut instinct still works. My “women’s intuition” is still there. I just need to stop ignoring it and to trust myself, trust my ability to read people and situations. I am giving myself permission to trust in my own senses again and to react based on what I feel.
Lack of self trust and ignoring my instincts will no longer be my Joy Thief. Do you ever experience self doubt or ignore your instincts? Is not trusting your gut instincts one of your Joy Thieves?
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I wobble and waffle with this though I am improving. Every day, in every way, right? I oftentimes realize later… and attempt to learn from when self trust ISN'T used!
I enjoyed this wholeheartedly! THANK YOU!
This is totally a problem for me. I've gotten flack over the years for "going with my gut" so I've stopped trusting myself. I really think I'd be so much happier if I could go back to relying on my instincts.