Is finding love in your 30s simply a numbers game? This is the thought I found myself having as I tried out a new dating app on my phone. The app does not include the long questionnaires like many traditional online dating sites. It simply requires you to have some kind of profile picture and a name. It will then show you all of the men (or women) who are within the age range who are within so many miles of you at the time you are using the app. You simply say yes or no. If you both say yes it will allow you to message each other. The feel of this app is much more random than any other dating tool that I’ve used. It has also produced many more matches.
When I was in high school and college I was in two of the biggest dating pools I would ever be in. However, at that time I was totally oblivious to the opportunities for love that were surrounding me. Don’t get me wrong I liked guys, had a few crushes, and even a boyfriend but I never really took my romantic prospects too seriously. I knew I wanted to be married but was not looking for a husband at that time. I thought marrying your high school or college sweet heart was something that only happened on TV and that I would just naturally meet the one and get married when I was older.
Well fast forward, I am older, and I was wrong. It has not just happened and many people do indeed marry their high school and college sweethearts. I also no longer benefit from the forced interaction with strangers of the opposite sex like in high school and college. I am also no longer surrounded by single guys in my age range every day. My circle of friends is does not grow and shift every semester. I am in my 30s and largely finding most of my dates online.
Without the commonality of same school, same church, same neighborhood, and same friends driving online daters together and new apps requiring less in the way of matching services but actually provided more matches (at least for me) it is all feeling a bit random. Will I find my Mr. Joy Chaser because he happens to be on the same site at the same time that I am? Will the online sites and apps allow me to interact with so many men that eventually I will just have to click on my Mr. Joy Chaser’s profile once I’ve kissed enough virtual frogs?
What do you think? Is finding love in your 30s a numbers game? Date enough men and you bound to find the one that is right for you?
I have profiles on several dating sites and what is happening for me is that the more aligned I am with my desires and the more I speak to them, the closer I get to my ideal partner/life.
Right now, my ideal partner lives in another country, so I'm making plans to visit him and see what happens.
Melissa, I'd love to hear how it goes when you go visit him.
I really have no idea. I sucked at the dating game. I met my husband at an alumni event for our university. We went to school in Ohio and met once we'd both been living in L.A. So random! Numbers game? Maybe.
The dating game can be tough, speaking as one who's still in it.