In talking to friends, family, co-workers and reading different magazine articles, blogs, and books I’ve noticed a trend that is disturbing to me. No I’m not talking about fashion trends or music trends. I’m talking about this trend of lying to ourselves about how we feel. You know what I’m talking about you hate your job and someone says you should be grateful to have work in this economy. Yes you should be grateful to have work and I’m sure you are. However people are complex and definitely capable of have more than one emotion at a time. You can both hate your job and also be grateful for the income that it provides. So, Stop Lying! You should be allowed to say it without feeling guilty and unappreciative. You should NOT however be allowed to say you hate it every day to the same person and then proceed to do nothing about it. That is called complaining. There is a difference between complaining and merely expressing how you feel and complaining takes the joy away from others. Don’t be a joy thief!!!
Life does really suck some time, not all the time or even most of the time… but some time it just sucks. And I am giving you permission to say it. To stop lying! The key is to realize why and then figure out what you can do to make it suck a little less each day until the suckiness has passed. You don’t have to try and trick yourself into thinking you feel differently. If you are lonely it is ok to say it (again not to the same person all the time). You do not have to try and convince yourself you are not lonely by listing all the wonderful virtues of having time to yourself. Instead try listing all of the things you can do to meet people.
If you hate your job don’t waste your time thinking up all the good things about it and how lucky you are to have work. Instead acknowledge how you really feel and focus on figuring out what kind of work you’d like to do and what it’ll take for you to get that type of job.
If you are disappointed that you are not married or in a relationship don’t try and convince yourself that single life is better and focus on all the negative aspects of your friends relationships. Instead give some thought to the type of person you’d want to be with and to the types of activities you can do to meet that type of person. Also give some thought as to if you have all the qualities you want to offer to that man or women of your dreams and put sometime into improving yourself.
If you recently got laid off don’t try and convince yourself that it does not suck by thinking of all the reasons your old job sucked and why you’re glad to be unemployed. Instead acknowledge how you may feel (afraid, angry, powerless, etc…) then focus on what you can do to fill your time in a way that prepares you for the next job opportunity or what you can do to make the most of your unemployment compensation (cost cutting, budgeting, etc.)
Let’s stop lying to ourselves and pretend we are ok if we really are not. Let’s be real about how we feel and then figure out how to make it better. That’s what this blog is for me. I’ve recently experienced the death of a loved one and had some relationship experiences that have not gone the way I wanted. These things suck. I am not happy and I miss the joy that these relationships brought to my life. But, I’m not going to wallow in the suckiness of it all. What I am going to do is focus on how I can bring some happiness to my life to replace what is missing… And therefore I’ll continue running full speed ahead chasing joy until I can grab it and make it mine.
