Chasing Joy

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Increase Blog Traffic on #FlashbackFriday: A Joyful Detour

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Happy Friday Joy Chasers!!!

How was your week? I hope it was a good one.  If it wasn’t maybe you can make up for it over the weekend.  Make some fun plans.  If you have been reading along as I set SMART Goals you know one of y goals is t have more fun and part of that is having something planned for the weekends.  I can’t hang out with Oprah every weekend so this weekend my fun thing is dinner out with one of my girlfriends.  I’m looking forward to catching up with her and maybe even discussing old times.

Speaking of old times, It’s #FlashbackFriday!!! #FlashbackFriday is a great way to increase traffic to your blog Every Friday on Chasing Joy we flash back to some of our older posts to give them a moment in the spotlight.  Pick any older post you like and add it below.  Link ups are fun!!!    You can also increase blog traffic by sharing your post on the Chasing Joy Facebook page and on Twitter using the hashtag #FlashbackFriday.  Also, I will Pin your post to the new #FlashbackFirday Pinterest Board,

My favorite post from last week’s link up is Julie V’s Post Chicken Shawarma.  Julie says, “Shawarma is an Arabic dish, very seasoned meat served on pitas”  Sounds good to me!

This week I am linking up A Joyful Detour.  This post is about a time when I got a little lost while walking my dog Hurt in the park.  The detour lead us to a discovery and learning all about Disc Golf.  That was a great afternoon. Boy, do I miss my pup!!!

Now it is your turn.  Increase blog traffic, find new readers, and new blogs via the power of the linky.  Add your link below!

Leave a comment telling us what you are linking up this week.  



Joyful Birthday Wishes, 35 for 35.

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Exactly 6 months from today I will be receiving birthday wishes celebrating turning  35 years old.  It feels weird even writing that.  It seems like it was only a few months ago I was receiving birthday wishes on turning 30.  Time surely does fly. For that reason I am writing this post.  These next 6 months and the following year are going to go by super quickly.  A little while ago while talking to my cousin she mentioned seeing people do these 30 for 30 and 40 for 40 posts on Instagram.  I like the idea. So this post contains my 35 for 35.  Here is a list of 35 things I’d like to do before or during my 35th year.  This is not a bucket list.  This is my 35 birthday wishes list.

1-9. Numbers are people.  Actually it is a short list of people I’d like to have lunch or dinner with.  They are friends I don’t see often and people I’d like to get to know better.  A few are bloggers like @ChrystinaNoel, @MeMyselfandEms and @karincoger.

10.  Lose 24lb. by my birthday. See my SMART Goals

11 & 12 are both home repairs.  I need to fix my sidewalk and I’d like a ceiling fan put in my bedroom.  I’ve wanted/needed to do both of these repairs for a while.  Home repair makes me feel stressed.

13. Get a boyfriend.  See my SMART Goals

14. Pay off a personal loan by my birthday.

16. A monthly Spa Treatment (facial, massage, body treatment)  

17. Get up to drinking a gallon of water a day.

18. Buy myself a nice piece of jewelry

19. Get myself fresh flowers every week

20.Go to a Sixers Game

21. Go to an Opera

22. Plan Chasing Joy Charity Event

23. Move my blog to word press

24. Go to the Holiday light show and events in Center City

25. Drive through a neighborhood that does the Christmas Light Display 

26. Get a new computer

27. Visit a new church

28.Go to the aquarium

29. Visit the DC monuments & attractions.

30. Write 1st draft of Chasing Joy Book. See SMART Goals

31. Plan a fun birthday party.

32. Go to the zoo.

33. Go to a Hockey game

34. Find a Volunteer opportunity that I like.

35. See the Lion King

Wow! It was hard work coming up with this list.  A few things have been on my to do list for a while like the Hockey game, finding a volunteer opportunity that I like, and the home repairs. Other things are ideas that I have been thinking about recently, like the lunches and dinners with friends and fellow bloggers I’d like to know better.  Some things I’d like to do before I turn 35 but most are things I’d like to accomplish sometime between now and the end of my 35 year.

Like I said, this is not a bucket list (that’s too morbid).  This is my birthday wishes list for turning 35.  These 35 things will help me feel lest stressed, better connected, more entertained, and more Joyful.  What is on you birthday wishes list?  What would you like to accomplish in between now and your birthday or in your next year?

#FlashbackFriday: Chasing Joy In Person

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Happy Friday Joy Chasers

How was your week? Was it a short one because of the Labor Day Holiday?  It was for me. I enjoyed having Monday off from the day job.  This week I blogged about the things that gave me Joy in August and I got back to my SMART goals, focusing on making them measurable.

This weekend is an exciting one for me starting today.  I will be spending it with Women Getting Social at the SITS Girls conference here in Philly. Are a any of you attending.  If so please tweet me  (@Chasing_Joy) so we can meet in person and say hello.

As always on Friday we are Flashing Back to some of our older posts to give them moment in the spotlight.  I hope you are ready to join in the linky fun.  Pick any old post from your blog and add it to the linky below.  You can also share your post on the Chasing Joy Facebook page and on Twitter using the hashtag #FlashbackFriday.  Here are my favorite posts from last weeks link up:

Janelle @ Run With No Regrets  post about getting meeting with a running coach.

My Husband’s Favorite Broccoli post of one of my favorite healthy recipes, roast broccoli.

Me, Myself and Ems  post about a celebrity who does not allow his fame to overshadow his true opinions. 

This week I am linking up Chasing Joy in Person.  This is a post I wrote right before attending an event where I was representing my blog for the very first time.  I was all nerves.  Check it out!

Add one of your favorite oldie but goody blog posts below and find new readers and bloggy friends via the power of the linky!!!

What are you linking up this week?

A Joyful Time at #FitRetreatPhl with #CityFitGirls

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Happy Monday Joy Chasers. Today I was planning to pick up where I left off last week talking about how to make my goal SMART goals. I wrote about the letter S, making my goal specific.   Next up is to make sure my goals are Measurable for the letter M.  But instead, today I want to talk to you about a great experience I had this weekend.

This Saturday I attended Fit Retreat Philadelphia.  This was a fitness conference hosted by City Fit Girls.  The conference was from 9 am to 2 pm.  There were exercise classes like running,  biking, kick boxing, club cardio, yoga, HIIT, and Belly Dancing every hour.  There were also health workshops on the psychology of food, meditation,  juicing,  body image, healthy shopping and others.   I really enjoyed this format of having both  exercise classes and workshops to choose from.  I would not have been able to work out all day id it were just classes.

There were so many options for how to spend the day. This is what I chose:

9:00 club cardio
10:00 psychology of food
11:00 juicing
12:00 body image
1:00 belly dancing

In addition to the classes and workshop the ticket also included a salad lunch and networking with the vendors.  I chatted quite a bit with the vendors of Thinx about their mission to improve the quality of life for girls in Uganda. They asked me to review one of their products so stay tuned for that.

The fitness classes were good but challenging.   When we started the club cardio class one of my first thoughts was on no, am I in over my head here?  I take zumba regularly but this club cardio was more exercise than dancing.  The instructor said for us to do 50 jumping jacks.  I wasn’t sure I could do them. But I did and I kept up throughout the rest of the class.  The belly dancing class was physically easier but a definite challenge to my coordination.   It was good to see that I could do other things that were outside of my fitness comfort zone.

Almost 500 calories burned at #FitRetreatPhl

My favorite of the workshops was the psychology of food class.  The instructor talked about how to examine all of the areas of our life to see where we were not content.  Being dissatisfied with our lives often leads to using food for comfort.  We discussed the fact that disordered eating (an unhealthy relationship with food) is often a symptom of being unhappy with other aspects of life.  At the end of the workshop the instructor encouraged us to to lead by example and be the kinds of people we want the young girls in our lives to be when they are our age.

Overall Fit Retreat Philly was great.  I look forward to going to other City Fit Girls events and the Retreat again next year.

Have you ever attended a Fitness retreat?  What was it like? Were you at Fit Retreat Philly?

Joy From Simple Things Less Than $10

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In an effort to experience Joy from simple things I started buying flowers every week.  Buying flowers was one of the things on my 35 for 35 list.  I have been buying them or quite a few weeks now and It really has given me joy.  I only buy the cheap  flowers from the supermarket but the inexpensiveness of the flowers only add to the joy I receive from looking at them.  They add beauty to my home for less than $10.00.

Today I am sharing pictures of the flowers from the last few weeks.  If you follow me on Instagram you may have seen some of these already.

It is a huge mistake to think that you have to make big changes or wait until you have a lot more money to be happier.  Buying these simple flowers once a week have tremendously improved my feelings of Joy at home.

What simple and or inexpensive things have you done to feel more Joyful?

Happy Birthday Chasing Joy: 5 Things I’ve Learned In 5 Years Of Blogging

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Chasing Joy, It’s Your Birthday! Chasing Joy, It’s Your Birthday!

That’s right this blog has had a birthday aka a blogaversary!  On January 31st 2009, 5 years ago I hit publish on my very 1st blog post.  I really cannot believe how quickly time has passed.  I cannot believe how different I feel.  I was so unbelievable sad.  After losing my dad a few months earlier I had just broken up with the man I thought I would marry.  I was so heartbroken and depressed I had to convince myself to get out of bed each day.  Today I have sad moments of course but other than feeling sleepy from getting up early for work I awake feeling good about facing the day.  I started writing about happiness and joy in hope that I’d start to feel that way again.  It worked!

Over these last 5 years I have had some great experiences like hosting the Chasing Joy Brunch & Learn, supporting charities through the Joy of Giving, and attending Blog Conferences.  But that is not what I am writing about today.  Today, for this Birthday/Blogaversary post I want to talk about 5 things that I have learned writing Chasing Joy these last 5 years.

  1. I can stick with something.  I do not really think of myself as a quitter, however when I look back over my life there are many unfinished projects and goals not accomplished.  I have joked with friends who like to knit or crochet that I have never completed a project.  Before starting this blog I’d attempted to write about 4 different books. Sticking with this blog for 5 years gives me confidence that I can stick with things.  When something is both my priority and fulfills my purpose I won’t walk away.  This can be an aspect of my character that I can be proud of.  Now there have definitely been moments when I did not feel like staying up late writing a post or when I was not updating the blog as often as i should.  I remember in the early days of the blog, after a few weeks with no new post getting a text from my cousin that said what’s up with your blog.  That text plus learning about the importance of posting on schedule at Blogalicious got me back on track.  I don’t think there has been a week since when there was not new content on Chasing Joy every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
  2. Others can benefit from my challenges/ short comings.  Over the last few years I have written a few blog posts that revealed my vulnerable side.  These are the blog posts that I second guest before hitting publish.  Is this to much information? What will the people who know me in real life think? These posts where I admit (news flash) that I am not perfect without a doubt end up being the blog posts that hit home with someone who was feeling the same way or going through a similar experience.  Several times over the years I have received a comment, email, or even had someone tell me in person how much my post spoke to them or how it helped them feel better about their situations.  This feedback has kept me going. My blog is not huge, and the funny thing is it is just when I feel like I’m talking to myself that I get this type of feedback.  
  3. One person can make a difference.  I am a pretty generous person.  I like to give gifts.  I donate to charity through work. One thing that I have noticed when it comes to being generous or charitable is that most people are both of those things when you make it easy.  Through Chasing Joy I have had a platform that has made it pretty easy for people to give.  With some effort from me I have hosted, and participated in several charity events. Chasing joy events provided clothes to women transition from welfare to work and household items to people battling cancer.   One blogger facilitated the charity of many who’s generosity touched many more.  One person can make a difference.  
  4. When you follow your own path others may feel threatened by your independence.  Now since this blog is Chasing Joy I try to not go to negative with my posts.  However, I have joked with friends that I guess I’m a real blogger now since I have experienced cliques and haters.  I’ve never been a follower.  Internally I struggle with authority and am instantly turned off by being told I must do or have to do anything.  Well there are lots of very successful bloggers and groups in the blogaspher and any smart blogger will learn from them, benchmark and adapt certain strategies that are applicable.  Any smart blogger will also determine what will not work for them and their blog.  Well in the process of learning, adopting some strategies, and doing other things my way I got some really negative feedback on how I should be doing things a certain way, specifically their way.  I was even told  that my blog would fail. Well, here we are celebrating 5 years of Chasing Joy. I am not saying that my way is always the right way.  But I do know that following my own path leaves me fulfilled and their is no failure in that. 
  5. People love free stuff.  Now of course I knew this prior to blogging.  But blogging has definitely reinforced this fact.  I have one giveaways form other bloggers before and it is exciting.  For that reason and in honor of Chasing Joy’s 5th birthday I have some free stuff for you.  OK, not all of you.  Two of you will win a $15 Starbucks’ gift card.  But all of you can enter the giveaway.  Start out by leaving a Chasing Joy Birthday shout out in the comments below.  Then fill out the rest of the entries using the Rafflecopter form below.  

a Rafflecopter giveaway

I Forgot How To Eat

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Today I am having pizza for breakfast.  No not some healthy sort of pizza.  It’s a regular old $5 Little Caesar’s pizza.  It’s left over from last night. I got it because it was cheap, fast, on my way home, and I had no food at home.  I’ll be headed to the supermarket soon, but I really don’t know what to buy.

The first time I knew I had a weight problem I was around 12.  The pediatrician told my mom I should lose weight. I remember it was spring or summer and my mom started making me cucumbers in vinaigrette she also worked out with me to some aerobics videos.  However, we still continued to buy Tastekakes and snack cakes every day.  My dad thought I just needed to run then I could eat whatever I wanted.  Clearly we really did not know what we were doing in terms of eating healthy.

Fast forward to age 23,  I started my 1st organized weight loss program.  It was weight watchers at home program followed by Weight Watchers online when I got a computer.  It was a success (lost 50lbs in about a year) kept it off a little while then it slowly inched back up. Since then I’ve tried, counting calories with various groups, cutting carbs, Nutrisystem, Metabolife, Herbalife, Weight Watchers several more times (with no where near the results as the 1st time), therapy, and even hypnosis for weight loss.  Yet here I am back at my high weight.

 In the process of all of this I feel like I have forgotten how to eat.  I don’t even remember how I used to eat 11 years ago before I started actively trying to lose weight and when I was about 25lbs lighter than I am right now.  I cannot help but to wonder if I would be lighter right now If I’d have never tried to lose weight???  I’ll never know.

Now I am not giving up by any means.  I’m not a quitter.  Plus I have a new incentive of wanting to be healthier so that I can have a baby and have a healthy pregnancy.  I just feel like I don’t really know what to eat.  I like my action plan of more veggies and 1 fruit a day.  However, my inability to find a eating plan that is sustainable makes me feel like I have no clue what to buy.  I have stopped buying a lot of things that are quick and fast and not so healthy like, pot pies, frozen pizza, pizza rolls, etc…But then, not having anything quick and fast leads me to the $5 pizza.  I have thrown away so many fresh fruit and veggies over the years and as recent as 2 weeks ago when I tried to make a weeks worth of jar salads ahead of time (day 1 good, day 2 barely OK, days 3 and 4 trash) .

I know I need to eat more veggies, drink more water, and avoid sugar, white carbs, trans and saturated fats.  But exactly how does this translate to my shopping list in a way where I enjoy eating my food and don’t waste a lot of money?  Part of me wonders is it me, that I just don’t stick with it long enough for it to feel normal and to not feel deprived????  I hate to get into that kind of “there’s something wrong with me” kind of thinking.

Losing weight is hard.  Changing your diet is hard.  Being healthy is worth it.

So tell me, what’s on your shopping list?  What are some of your normal go to healthy meals?

SWOT Analysis

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I have a business degree from the Fox School of Business, Temple University.  I am super proud of this accomplishment.  Its a good thing too because I have no desire to go back to school for any other degrees.  I never want to do homework or have exams again.  The one thing I did not mind about school was the actual learning.  I love learning new things. I love seeing things like a good Venn Diagram put into practice.  I’m kinda nerdy like that.

One of the tools I learned in business school was SWOT Analysis.  SWOT analysis is used to critique companies, business strategies, etc…  SWOT stands or Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats. The nerdy girl in me enjoys this tool so much that I thought why not do a SWOT analysis on myself.  After all, blogging can be an introspective activity.  Especially, for me since I blog about ways to have more happiness in my life.   So, here goes:
  • Strengths – Smart, Kind, Independent, Good Writer, Honest, Loyal, Pride, Good Cook, Generous, Attractive, Good Listener, Like Seeing Other’s Happy, Supportive, Encouraging, Like Helping Others, Non-Judgmental
  • Weaknesses – Trouble Asking For Help, Non-Confrontational, Bad Housekeeper, Procrastinator, Disorganized, Lack Confidence, Afraid To Take Risks
  • Opportunities –  Leadership, Make A Good Wife, Philanthropy, Teaching/Coaching
  • Threats – Not Pursing My Own Goals, Finding Fulfillment Through Others Accomplishments Instead Of My Own, Not Having My Own Support System, Being Too Trusting 
So here is really how it works when it comes to SWOT analysis.  The Strengths are the easiest to identify, followed by the Weaknesses.  The tricky part is the Opportunities and Threats.  What you want to do is look at your Strengths and Weaknesses and see how they can be translated into Opportunities and most importantly what kinds of Threats do they put you at risk for.  
Being  a generous, supportive person who likes to help others and has good listening skills are great strengths that make it likely that I’d be a good wife and good at leadership opportunities related to teaching and coaching others.  However the these same strengths combined with my weaknesses of being afraid to take risks and sometimes lacking confidence creates a foundation for the threat of me spending more time helping others reach their dreams than me working towards my own and then convincing myself to find fulfillment through others accomplishments instead of my own.  The big threat of that is growing resentful of the people I started out helping.
Dong a SWOT analysis helps you to figure out what areas you want to work on.  Some people believe in focusing in on the weaknesses and trying to get rid of them.  Others believe that is a waste of time and that it is better to focus on making the strengths even stronger. Kind of like aiming to get a bigger bang for your buck.  I think doing both is important.  I want to spend most of my time improving upon my strengths while keeping my weaknesses and more importantly my threats in the front of my mind.  Using my my threats and weaknesses to ask myself important questions when making decision.  For example:

Could I do a better job at this if I ask someone for help?

Am I turning down this opportunity because I really don’t want it or because I am afraid of taking the risk?  

Would I do XYZ or not do XYZ if I were feeling more confident right now?  

Am I helping this person to accomplish a task when I should really be working on my own goals?

This is my first time doing a SWOT analysis on myself.  The threat that is the most alarming and surprising is that I could find fulfillment through others accomplishments instead of my own and grow resentful.  This is a big eye opener for me.
Have you ever done a SWOT analysis on yourself?  If so were you surprised by any of your Opprtunities or Threats?  If you have never done one I recommend you give it a try. If you share your SWOT analysis on your blog leave a link in the comments

#FlashbackFriday: Chasing Joy & Kids

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Woo who! Happy Friday Joy Chasers!


I hope you had a good week.  This week I made my goals public, wrote about ways to avoid common mistakes we make when setting goals, and started the SMART Goal process by making my goals more specific.  If you are in the process of setting some new goals or redefining old one check out those posts and join me in the goal setting process.  


Since it is Friday I bet you are visiting today to join in the #FlashbackFriday linky  #FlashbackFridays is when we give our old posts a little love.  Pick any old post from your blog and add it to the linky below.  You can also share your post on the Chasing Joy Facebook page and on Twitter using the hashtag #FlashbackFriday.


Here are my favorite posts from last weeks link up:

The Right Relationship Challenges You which talks about a show I have been binge watching lately, Married at First Sight.

Things I wish I’d Have Known Before Becoming A Mom which makes me appreciate going to bed each night a little more. 

This week I am linking up Chasing Joy & Kids.  This is a guest post from one of my favorite bloggers MJ about her role as an almost pseudo mom to her fiance’s kids.  Lovely post! Check it out! 


What are you linking up this week?


Add the link to one of your favorite oldie but goody blog posts below and find new readers and bloggy friends via the power of the linky!!!

The Everyday Joyfully Confident Woman

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My theme for 2014 has been confidence.  I am working to be the best possible version of me. That version of me is way more confident.

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about some celebrities who exhibit the types of confidence I’d like to have.   Today I thought I’d write about confident women that I interact with on a regular basis. These women are smart, funny, and exhibit many of the # traits of confident women that I wrote about earlier this year.

Of course any list like this would be incomplete without my mom.  She is apologetically always herself.   She does not worry about what others will think or how they will respond.  She is just herself.  I admire the honesty that is inherent in just being yourself.   Now I am not a fake person at all. However,  one of the great skills I inherited from my dad is the ability to adapt and adjust to most situations.  While that is a great skill I know there have been times that it would have served me better to channel my mom and be confident enough to be unapologetically me.

For most of us work is a place that we have no shortage of complaints about.  I am no different,  though hopefully I have not shared too many of those complaints here for obvious reasons.   At my day job I am surrounded by many examples of what not to do.  However there is one woman that I can look to, who always sets the right example.   My co worker, M. M is a great worked but not the goody two shoes kiss up type. She simply  does her job to the best of her abilities.  She is not afraid to admit when she does not know something and doesn’t pretend to know more or do more than she does.  She is confident in her interactions with our superiors.  I learn a lot from sitting near her. I hope her confidence spreads as efficiently as the rumors that go around the office.  

Next up on my list of confident women is my cousin, L. Now L has a lot of things going for her in the confidence  department.  She is a great example of the strong black women, minus that in your face don’t need a man thing, that can be a off putting at times.  But, the type of confidence that she has that I hope is hereditary and has just not kicked in yet for me, is her ability to just get up and go. If there is something that she wants or somewhere that she wants to go she just up and goes.  I often find myself in recruit mode trying to get someone to do this with me or go there with me.  Blogging has helped as I will now go blog events by myself but I still have to work on it for other types of events and activities.

Peoples confidence shines through in all kinds of areas.  Well in the area of fitness Jese shines through with brilliance.   You may remember me mentioning Jese before as she was a speaker at the Chasing Joy Brunch & Learn that took place in DC earlier this year.  Since that time Jese has upped her fitness game big rime. While her level of commitment is greater than most she makes you feel like you can do it too. While I  no stranger to the gym I admire Jese’s can do attitude.  She sets goals, declares  boldly and publicly that she can do it, and then she does it.  I still find myself setting goal in the shadow of doubt. Jese who happens to be a plus size model also shows no fear or doubts about being the “big girl”, in the gym. That is something that I struggle with on occasion,  all be it rarely,  like when I wore shorts to the gym last month.

Last but certainly not least is Philly’s Love Dr,  Damaris.   Damaris is a certified therapist,  relationship expert, and Law of attraction guru, who happens to be one of the speakers at next month’s Chasing Joy Brunch & Learn.   But in addition to all of that she is also a sex therapist.   Damaris encourages women to acknowledge and nurture their sexy side along with every other component of their personalities.   Here ability to embrace sexiness in a way that is not dirty or something to shy away from, but instead in a way  that is attractive and confident is something I hope rubs off on me.

So these are the real life women that I have been taking confidence lessons from  unbeknownst to them.   Do you make it a point to have confident women in your life? Who would you take confidence lessons from?

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