When I got to the parking lot it was full. The attendant instructed me to park in the bank parking lot. It was also full 🙁 I thought to myself just go home now this was a bad idea. I quickly countered this thought with another, don’t chicken out now. I went back to the main parking lot and the attendant showed me another location to park.
I parked and headed into the bar. It’s raining so it’ll probably be dead, I thought. I thought wrong. The bar was packed. All seats taken and no room to even stand at the bar. I sat at a table top that was set for two. I ordered one drink and an appetizer.
The crowd that I had not expected seemed to all know each other. There were guys and girls around the bar who were laughing and joking together. Lots of smaller groups at table tops. Several groups of women grabbing an after work drink with the girls. There were a few couples enjoying date night. Then there was me, sitting all alone. The only girl there not part of a group. Well this sucks, I thought.
This is the story of me being brave and going to a happy hour all by myself. This was my second time doing so. While it was not the experience I was hoping for, nor was it the first time I went, I do feel proud of myself for going, for pushing out the walls of my comfort zone just a little. .I know for many of you going to a happy hour alone is no big deal. It is for me though. I am used to entering the bar/social scene among friends. Going solo is a new experience for me.
Why do it? Because as my peers and I get older more and more of them are embracing more of a family lifestyle, heading home to husbands and children. While I hope to join them in that stage of life sooner than later, I’m not there yet. So that means if I still want to partake in single life I have to 1 continue to make new single friends and 2 be brave and go solo some times.
It did not go the way I hoped. I am not as comfortable as I’d like to be going solo. Nevertheless I went. I was brave and I hope it will get easier. Going solo will be joyful, eventually.
Do you go out by yourself often? If so where do you go?
Best way to go by yourself is to sit at a bar and make friends with a bartender or other people sitting at the bar. I do it when I travel alone for business. Sometimes it works… and sometimes it doesn't. Whatever I do I make sure I get things I want out of it too – a good drink, a good meal. Also, I usually bring something with me to do for a little bit, and then when I work up the nerve to actually "be alone" I put it away and look at my surroundings. I also try to look friendly – which I have no idea if it works or not.
serious kudos to you for going out on your own. the idea scares me senseless, since i'm extremely shy and i feel it'd be really awkward for me. but we SHOULD be able to go out on our own every now and again, so we know what it feels like to not have the crutch of our friends. i've honestly only had a drink at a bar alone on one occasion, and it was right before meeting up with someone nearby (so not sure if that really counts). and it really wasn't that bad, surprisingly.
I HATED going places by myself, I'm a talker and feel uncomfortable when I don't have that person next to me to turn to. But I am starting to enjoy going places on my own. I like going out to diinner, esp. as a new mom, it's an hour where I can eat peacefully without someone at my side saying, eat, more, milk! lol It's funny, because I would be more prone to go to a happy hour in a different city. I wouldn't sit alone in the hotel, but go out and sight see.
Thanks so much for writing this! I am in the same boat as you and have thought about doing solo happy hours as a way to put myself out there. I've only done it once and I was on my iphone the whole time – sort of defeats the purpose! But, I like Erika's strategy. I usually have a three-person rule when I go out with my girls…why not do something similar when I venture out solo? I just went to a happy hour last night and even though I didn't make any love connections, it did prove to me that there still are decent guys out there….
I've been out a few times by myself to social events & out to eat. It's uncomfortable & can even be awkward. I have to get up the nerve to do so because I'm pretty shy. But when I've gone, I've met some awesome people that I still keep in touch with today. The last time I went out solo, it was a game party at the end of last summer & I met my now boyfriend 🙂 Keep going, be receptive & engage someone who seems interesting. Kudos to you for sharing your story, it may bring someone the courage to try it. Meetup.com seems like a good site to check for local groups that may expose you to new people to network with.
Hello 🙂
I agree with Erika!
I try and sit at the bar and occasionally chat with the bartender. I'm coming to terms with going out alone and enjoying a little bit of quite time with myself. It's hard and some days I wish my friends were closer to go with me but all in all, it beats sitting at home. I also find myself observing smaller details about a restaurant or neighborhood when I'm alone that I would not have necessarily noticed in a group.
Hey Girlfriend!
Good for you for gettingo ut there! I totally know the uncomfortable feeling of going to a social event (like happy hour) alone! Kudos for being so brave!! I am like you and starting go out more on my own. I like to go to dinner by myself. At first, I would get a table and and bring a book. But, now, I make it a point to go to a place that has bar seating as well as tables. I usually grab a spot at the bar so that it's easy to engage others at the bar or the bar tender. My friends joke that I can make friends with anyone – and, when I'm out with a group, that's totally true! But alone I tend to keep to myself. So now, I make a rule that I can't leave until I engage one new person – whether it's about a ball game on TV or whatever.
I am also going to start going to networking events alone to force myself out of my comfort zone and to talk to more people! Do you ever do that? If so, I'd love some tips!