I am a Joy Thief!!! I’m not proud of it but it is a fact. Actually, we are all guilty of being Joy Thieves from time to time. The thing is we don’t want to make a habit of it. The best way to avoid taking a permanent claim to the title of Joy Thief is to know the signs. In my post Beware the Joy Thief I tell you how to identify the Joy Thieves in your life. Now I’m going to describe 5 types of Joy Thieves you don’t want to become.
- The Victim Joy Thief– This Joy Thief is usually a really nice person. They make friends easily but somehow all of those friends do them wrong. Someone is always mistreating them, taking advantage of them or abusing them. It’s not that this Joy Thiefe is making things up and in no way am I excusing any mistreatment he or she may have experienced. The problem is the Victim does not see how their actions contributed to their predicament. Someone else is always the bad guy so they see no reason to do anything differently and go one and one being the Victim. This Joy Thief will drive you crazy. You care about them and encourage them not to fall into the same patterns of trusting the wrong people or not standing up for themselves. They will ignore you time and time again but make sure they share with you every story of woe. Don’t be the constant Victim!
- The Can’t Be Happy Joy Thief– This Joy Thief cannot be happy for other people. From time to time we all feel a twinge of jealousy when someone gets something that we want. The green eyed monster has been known to take up residence in all of us temporarily. However, most of us manage to keep the monster from acting out and expel it fairly quickly. But not the Can’t Be Happy Joy Thief. This person cannot manage their envy and act out whenever something good happens to someone else. This is the person who people are afraid to share good news with. You feel the need to play down your accomplishments around them to minimize their acting out. Don’t be this unsupportive Joy Thief
- The One Day Joy Thief – This Joy Thief will talk to you all day long about their plans, their goals and what they are going to do. They include you in their exciting ideas about trips, outings, events, and parties. But every conversation ends with a one day. We should all go to this awesome place and do all sorts of cool things, one day. They are all talk and One Day never arrives. They talk to you about the same plans over and over for years with no real action taking place. When you suggest fun, interesting, or helpful things they quickly co-sign that it is a great idea that they will try, one day. Over time people get tired and bored talking about the same things when they realize that One Day will always be in the future Don’t be this dull Joy Thief.
- The It’s All About Me Joy Thief – This Joy Thief can usually be spotted quicker than the others. No matter what story you are telling they have one similar. Whatever you are going through they have been through something worse. They have to be the center of the conversation. In short whatever is is it has to be All About Them. Talking to this kind of Joy Thief is like talking to a wall. They never really listen to others because they are busy thinking of ways to change the topic back to themselves. Don’t be this self absorbed Joy Thief.
- The But Joy Thief – This is the Joy Thief that I run the risk of becoming. There are things that this Joy Thief is working on. They have goals and ideas that they are actively pursuing. The problem is they reach a point, a bottleneck, a roadblock on the way and ask for help. However, when they receive advice that is difficult or outside of their comfort zone. They have a 100 reasons that they can’t take the advice. They acknowledge that the advice is good but it won’t work for them because of XYZ. They say things like I’d do that but, or I’d try that but, or that is a good idea but. There is always a but explaining why they cannot move forward. My difficulties with change and taking risks make me very susceptible to becoming A But Joy Thief. This type of Joy Thief can come across as lazy, non-committed, or lacking drive. Don’t Be an excuse making But Joy Thief.
Do you see any of your behaviors in the above Joy Thief descriptions above? Are you at risk of becoming a Joy Thief?
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This article is so on time. I often encounter the But Joy Thief and the Victim Joy thief in my daily talks with friends and family. I am a strong believer when something happens or there is a constant pattern, you have to take a look at yourself and see how you are contributing to your cause.