Chasing Joy

The Man List: Qualities I Want in Mr. Joy Chaser

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LOL  This above pictured list is for your comic relief.  

I love lists!!!  Years ago there was an Oprah episode about women who’d made lists of what they wanted in a partner. Later found the lists after getting married or in a relationship only to find their partner had most if not all f the qualities from their list. A friend of mine insisted we do lists of our own.   I did it to humor her and then forgot about it.  A few months into dating my Ex she asked how he compared to the list.  I said what list.  She emailed me back my list of 100 qualities I wanted in a man.  My Ex had 97 of the qualities.  Now I do not think the list was magic.  I think doing the list helped me to get really clear about what I was looking for at the time so that I was able to tune into those who possessed those qualities.

You may remember 1 of my 4 Goals To Bring More Joy was to go from single to in a committed relationship.  I had a sub-goal in that category of creating a list of what I was looking for in  a man so that I could be clear with about what’s really important to me.  Also part of using the Law of Attraction is getting clear on what you want, what you are asking the universe/God for. Furthermore, creating the list will help me in the dating process with both determining who I should spend time with and with communicating my values.  
This time I did not come up with 100 qualities.  I thought up as many as I could though, writing down everything I could think f. I came up with just over 50 qualities.  Some, about 10, are non-negotiables. Others are really important but I’m willing to be flexible on.  Some I want but know they really are not necessary for a good relationship. No, I am not going to share them all with you but here are a few. 
Non-negotiables:
  • Wants kids
  • Believes in god
  • Not afraid of social media
  • Attractive (to me, I don’t care if you guys think he’s cute). LOL
Qualities that I’d really like but am flexible on:
  • Does not have kids – It would be awesome to share becoming a parent for the first time with my Mr. Joy Chaser, but I’m open to someone who is already a parent.
  • Great Sex – good sex can be improved upon to the level of greatness.  Oh, and how about my mom suggested I add this to the list. LOL
  • Likes their job
  • Black – I really love black men! 
Qualities that I want but I know are not super important for having a good relationship
  • Does not wear his pants sagging
  • Tall
  • Short hair
  • Has a car
  • They Vote.  
Have you ever written out a list of what you want in a partner?  If so does your partner match the list or did the list go out the window when love came in?  If you are single what would you put on your list? Do you know what your non-negotiables are?  Do you think the 100 qualities or even 50 is ridiculous?
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Comments

  1. I have a single friend and quite a while back I suggested she do this and she did! She said it gave her clarity on what she wanted and helped her discern between potential men she could date.

    Thanks for sharing and for linking up to the #SHINEbloghop!

    Wishing you a lovely evening.
    xoxo

  2. My pastor once said if you write a list for what you want in a man you must also write one for the qualities of the kind of woman you're going to be for that man and it should be twice as long. So if it has 100 items then yours should be 200.

    I got me thinking about what kind of woman I need to be for this man I so desire.

    • Sammyjoe, I feel like I can turn this blog into my list of qualities for myself. Chasing Joy has made me a better person and continues to do so.

      My list would include things like understanding, supportive, can cook, faithful, among other things.

  3. Hello Lady!

    No, 50 or 100 is not too much to expect in a man and, I love that you've written the vision and made it plain.

    I too had a detailed but did not over exaggerate on my expectations (fantasy).

    Great reminder as I need to write out some additional life goals.

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