My theme for 2014 has been confidence. I am working to be the best possible version of me. That version of me is way more confident.
A couple of weeks ago I wrote about some celebrities who exhibit the types of confidence I’d like to have. Today I thought I’d write about confident women that I interact with on a regular basis. These women are smart, funny, and exhibit many of the # traits of confident women that I wrote about earlier this year.
Of course any list like this would be incomplete without my mom. She is apologetically always herself. She does not worry about what others will think or how they will respond. She is just herself. I admire the honesty that is inherent in just being yourself. Now I am not a fake person at all. However, one of the great skills I inherited from my dad is the ability to adapt and adjust to most situations. While that is a great skill I know there have been times that it would have served me better to channel my mom and be confident enough to be unapologetically me.
For most of us work is a place that we have no shortage of complaints about. I am no different, though hopefully I have not shared too many of those complaints here for obvious reasons. At my day job I am surrounded by many examples of what not to do. However there is one woman that I can look to, who always sets the right example. My co worker, M. M is a great worked but not the goody two shoes kiss up type. She simply does her job to the best of her abilities. She is not afraid to admit when she does not know something and doesn’t pretend to know more or do more than she does. She is confident in her interactions with our superiors. I learn a lot from sitting near her. I hope her confidence spreads as efficiently as the rumors that go around the office.
Next up on my list of confident women is my cousin, L. Now L has a lot of things going for her in the confidence department. She is a great example of the strong black women, minus that in your face don’t need a man thing, that can be a off putting at times. But, the type of confidence that she has that I hope is hereditary and has just not kicked in yet for me, is her ability to just get up and go. If there is something that she wants or somewhere that she wants to go she just up and goes. I often find myself in recruit mode trying to get someone to do this with me or go there with me. Blogging has helped as I will now go blog events by myself but I still have to work on it for other types of events and activities.
Peoples confidence shines through in all kinds of areas. Well in the area of fitness Jese shines through with brilliance. You may remember me mentioning Jese before as she was a speaker at the Chasing Joy Brunch & Learn that took place in DC earlier this year. Since that time Jese has upped her fitness game big rime. While her level of commitment is greater than most she makes you feel like you can do it too. While I no stranger to the gym I admire Jese’s can do attitude. She sets goals, declares boldly and publicly that she can do it, and then she does it. I still find myself setting goal in the shadow of doubt. Jese who happens to be a plus size model also shows no fear or doubts about being the “big girl”, in the gym. That is something that I struggle with on occasion, all be it rarely, like when I wore shorts to the gym last month.
Last but certainly not least is Philly’s Love Dr, Damaris. Damaris is a certified therapist, relationship expert, and Law of attraction guru, who happens to be one of the speakers at next month’s Chasing Joy Brunch & Learn. But in addition to all of that she is also a sex therapist. Damaris encourages women to acknowledge and nurture their sexy side along with every other component of their personalities. Here ability to embrace sexiness in a way that is not dirty or something to shy away from, but instead in a way that is attractive and confident is something I hope rubs off on me.
So these are the real life women that I have been taking confidence lessons from unbeknownst to them. Do you make it a point to have confident women in your life? Who would you take confidence lessons from?
I love the acknowledgement and honor your paying to those confident women in your life.
I am grateful that I inherited a confident spirit and like your mother, I am unapologetic about how I live and the decision I make, as long as I am following the path God leading me on.
Bless you.
Thanks Yulunda. I am growing in my confidence with ever new experience.
I sometimes struggle with confidence myself.
I teach music to the children at church, so I must have confidence to maintain control of the room.
One of my friends commented that I was kind but firm and confident. I admitted that I was acting. I don't have great confidence, but I do pretend and I can fool the 3-12 year-olds long enough for them to sing for me.
I think women are sometimes told that it's better to be modest in the form of little confidence. To say, "Oh, I'm not very good at ________" instead of saying that they have some experience.
But I want to be confident so that in the future when I have kids they will be able to look up to me.
You have a point Julie. Women are more conditioned to be modest than to be confident.