Single Mother By Choice Fears
Happy Friday!
You guys know my third Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET) is this month. Preparing for the transfer I am taking medications, eating Brazil nuts to help with fertility, and trying to avoid stress. I have share videos on these things before so I figured this week I’d talk to you about some of my Single Mother By Choice Fears.
When women talk to me about my choice to get pregnant on my own there is on common theme. At some point in the conversation they all say the I am “brave”. But, here’s the thing. I don’t feel brave at all. This is my plan B. Plan A was marrying my Mr. Joy Chaser and having kids the old fashion (and more fun) way. That is not how things played out.
My own mother’s experience with infertility as well as the experiences of some of my friends’ showed me that getting pregnant later in life was no guarantee. At age 35 with no good prospects to date, let alone marry, I decided to pursue the Single Mother By Choice path. I did it with a lot of prayers, the blessing of my mom, and a whole lot of Single Mother By Choice Fears. The fears have not gone a way two plus years into this journey. However, the fear of not pursing the happiness that I always imagined I’d experience in motherhood is greater than my Single Mother by Choice fears.
So, I don’t feel brave at all. I feel just as nervous and fearful as everyone else making big life changing decisions. But I know that I will not regret having gone for my dreams. That certainty helps me manage the fears. However the fears are indeed there. Check out the video below to see what Single Mother By Choice fears are.
You and I are very very similar!
Thanks for being so honest. I am having the same fears. My adoption is dragging along. So I wonder if God is giving me more time to decide if I really want this. I had an opportunity, but it turned out to not be good fit. I felt very afraid.
This week, I started imagining my life without children and how I would deal with that. I think this is a defense mechanism for not wanting to get hurt. I think we both absolutely want to be mothers, it’s just the uncertainty and long waits that are making us afraid.
I think you made a great decision… many women become single parents by accident. You have taken control of the process so your outcome will def be more favorable. Don’t be afraid because your instincts come with the bond at birth