I know it is the end of March but I want to tell you about my wearing flats for New Years Eve. I know I am breaking all of the good blogger rules by sharing this post now. You see blog posts are supposed to be consistent with things like the calendar and holidays. So, this post really should have been shared back in January. Actually the first week of January would have been perfect. However, obviously, I had other things (Chasing Joy’s 7th Birthday, and Launching the Joy Makeover program) to share back then. But don’t worry. What I am talking about is very much relevant because it has very little to do with New Year’s Eve. My wearing flats for New Year’s Eve just happened to happen on this holiday.
Ok let’s travel back in time 3 months. For New Years Eve I made plans with a girlfriend to go out and have a fun time. We decided to go to a Silent Philly Party. To make the night more fun, safer, and less stressful we decided to rent a hotel room near the party venue and to Uber there and back. I had enough Marriott points for a free night and we’d be splitting the Uber tab so this made sense financially as well. The only thing causing me any real stress was my footwear.
A few weeks before New Year’s Eve I saw the red skirt that was partially shear and flared when you twirled. I love it even though it was not something I’d normally wear. A few days before New Year’s Eve I returned to the store and purchased it. I then found a sparkly top to go with it. But what would go on my feet. I know that a fancy outfit like this should have some fancy high heels to complement it. Unfortunately, thought of the fancy high heels immediately caused stress and anxiety to rise within me.
You see I love the look of high heels. Some are so beautiful they are like pieces of art. Now I have been blessed in many many countless ways, however I was not blessed with the ability to wear high heels without pain. Actually many many different styles of shoes and even sneakers manage to hurt my feet. In addition to the pain that a pair of fancy high heels would bring there would also be unsteadiness a likely stumble and the possibility of a fall. Sigh…
Now understand, I do wear high heels sometimes. But the circumstances have to be right:
- The shoe has to be comfortable enough
- I have to know I will be able to sit down
- The event must not require a lot of walking
My New Year’s Eve plans did not include any of the above. I did not own a fancy high heel that would be comfortable enough to last the night. Buy a new pair was an option but I wouldn’t know if they would be comfortable enough either. I did not know if the venue would have seating. Lastly, the night would not require lots of walking. It would, however, require lots and lots of dancing. Planned to dance my way right on in to 2017. This night was not a high heels kind of night.
My decision was made but the anxiety was still there. Why was my wearing flats for New Year’s Eve bothering me so much??? I looked at myself in the mirror after getting dress and tried to figure it out. Now I am not a fashionista or style maven or any such thing but I do believe that looking nice, well put together, stylish even is important. How we feel about ourselves in general has a lot to do with how we feel about what we see in the mirror. But I loved what I saw in the mirror. Then it occurred to me I was worried about what other people would think of my outfit.
Ugh… I felt disappointed in myself. There I was, a Joy Strategist who warns other’s about the danger of comparison comparing my outfit to what I though other people’s outfits would look like. I write about creating the life you want for yourself and I was feeling stressed because my choice of footwear would not meet other’s expectations. I was a couple months away from 37, an age we can all agree falls into the Grown Ass Woman category, and I was feeling anxious about what others thought of my shoes. SMH!
I gave myself a good taking to (in my head as to not worry my girlfriend LOL). Snap out of it! I reminded myself what was important to me about this night. The most important thing was for me to have fun. 2016 was a hard year and I wanted to bring in 2017 in a Joyful and fun way. I had set everything up (choice of party, lodging, and transportation) so that I could max out on fun without stress. My outfit should complement that not complicate it. How I looked was not the important thing. How I felt was. I twirled in my skirt and felt great. Would I have been able to twirl in fancy high heels without breaking my neck? Probably not.
Once I understood where my anxiety was coming from and talked some sense into myself I felt so much better. We went out, looked great, and had a fantastic time. All while I was wearing flats for New Year’s Eve.
Now this happened on New Year’s Eve but this could have been any event really. There are a couple of life lessons here. One, do not make other people’s opinions weigh more than your own. Two, understand what your priorities are and set everything else up to compliment them including your attire.
Have you ever caught yourself walking in uncomfortable shoes (literally and figuratively) to impress others? What do you think of my wearing flats for New Year’s Eve? Would you have done it?