I think we all have things that we wish were different. Things that we believed to be true and made certain decisions based on those truths only to find out we were wrong. Things that we feel just aren’t fair. If we are not careful these things can bubble up to the surface and fill us with anger, resentment, and other unjoyful emotions.
I realize I have a few of those things that I need to deal with. They are things that I cannot change. Things that I just need to get over. I know I am not alone. Many of us have resentments over past relationships, work situations, health problems and just a general feeling of life not being the way we expected it to be. Or the feeling of not achieving some of the things we worked so very hard for. Another biggie is the feeling of getting what you thought you wanted only to realize that that’s not what you really wanted after all.
So how do we get over this stuff? Unload this baggage? Let go of these disappointments?
Well I don’t know. I don’t have the answer. But my very best guess is that it should go like this. I think / hope acknowledging these feelings is a good place to start. Followed by letting go of whatever you thought was to be, that isn’t, meaning stop trying to force it to happen or stop pretending that it didn’t. Next grieve over the loss of the life you thought you’d have. Then accept things as they are. Finishing up with enjoying your life as is.
This is my very unscientific, completely intuitive (although influenced by having had some therapy), approach to getting over the things that keep bubbling up to the surface.
Are there things you need to Get Over? Do certain emotions keep bubbling up to the surface because you have not really gotten over them? Have you successfully gotten over some big life disappointments or difficulties? How did you do it? How do you get over it so that you can get more Joy?
I’m going to try this approach on myself over the next few weeks and let you know how it goes. Stay Tuned!!!
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My way to combat getting over hurdles is to make the most of your current situation. You can find more positives than negatives when you focus. Divorce can be very disappointing however I look at as rebuilding and an opportunity to put the right person in my life. Turn lemons into lemonade!
I kept talking about how much I disliked work and started to become true. Now I am faking it until I make it and it is working really, really well.
I think the main thing that helped me with getting over things I can't change was my growing relationship with God! 🙂
I dealt with this last year! I was in a car wreck and after that life-altering experience decided to get rid of all the negativity including negative people who drag me down. Life is too short to be unhappy! I can happily say that I am so happy of where I am today!
I think everyone has issues like these that they can't quite get over. And it is so true, if we let them keep; they will continue to fester until we lose all joy in life.
I'm not perfect at it, but I find if I can label them first. Recognize what is making me unhappy to begin with. Then I say, "is this something I can do anything about? Can I change this or is this something I Have no control over?" If it is something I can change, then I set about changing it. If it is something I cannot change, I have to move onto the next steps. Acknowledge you can't change it. It is really hard to do. But that is when you need to let it go. And focus on what you can change.
Sometimes I find focusing on what I've been blessed with and the good things in my life help me to let some of those more unpleasant things go that I can't control.
Making a decision to change your thoughts and deciding to be content is not always easy but so important. Thanks for sharing this great post.
You have no idea how much I've struggled with this recently. I really needed to hear this today. Thank you so much for sharing.
These are great tips – thank you for sharing!
I have managed to overcome some major hurdles to live a life full of joy. When people ask me how I did it to be honest I don't know. I have been at the brink of depression but when I decided enough was enough I broke through.
I still have negative thoughts from time to time. I allow myself a day at the most to wallow in those feelings and then I do the pep talk that no matter how wrong this thing is that is making me feel this way there is nothing that I can do about it but learn to cope and see the bright parts in it. I have learned to find the best in every situation and even if it is 1 pro to 1,000 cons I try to focus on the 1.
Getting to a constant place of joy is not possible without mastering mind over matter in my opinion. Our mind is a powerful tool and once we learn to harness it we get to a great place!!