C is for Confident. I guess I could have also said C is for confession, because I have one. I am not as confident as I seem. Sure, I am confident about some things. I know I am smart. I know that I have pretty good people skills. But overall I am not as confident as I’d like to be.
At the beginning of the year I started my Vision Board for 2014 (its still not completed). The theme for the board was confidence because that is what I am working on this year. Unfortunately, I was having a hard time wrapping my mind around the idea of confidence. While we all know what it is, how it looks, and what it feels like, It is still a rather abstract concept. I got really great advice on this issue when I attended a S.H.A.R.E event at BellaNor Boutiqe. It was suggested that I think about people that I think are confident, what they do, and how they act. Based upon what I see in my female friends, family, and co-workers that I think of as confident, here are 11 Traits of Confident Women:
- Ask for what they want – Confident women are not worried about how others may judge them or if their requests will be deemed as appropriate. If they want a raise, more support from their spouse, etc.. They ask for it.
- Stand up for themselves – Confident women understand that standing up for themselves is not rude or disrespectful. Therefore, they don’t hesitate to do it when necessary.
- Not concerned with being nice – Confident women are not overly concerned with being nice. Not to say that they are not nice. They just don’t spend their time worrying about how others perceive their actions. They know they are a good person so they don’t have to spend time thinking about it.
- Don’t second guess themselves – Confident women trust their instincts. They make decisions and move forward. They don’t go over it again and again wondering if they did the right thing or beating themselves up if they did make a mistake.
- Not afraid to be wrong or make mistakes – Confident women know that they are human and will make their fair share of mistakes. They are not shamed or embarrassed by them. They view mistakes as life lessons.
- Go for what they want – Confident women set goals and go for them. They don’t waste time wondering if their goals are realistic. They don’t think up reasons why they don’t deserve or can’t have what they want. They keep their efforts positive and focused on what they want.
- OK with being different – Confident women don’t feel the need to be like or do what everyone else is doing. They don’t feel the need to go along with the crowd. They are equally content in their uniqueness or when with like minded individuals
- Not afraid to shine – Confident women view their skills, talents, and intelligence as positives. They are not afraid to use them. Even if they don’t love the attention they may receive, they will do their best in any given situation. They don’t dumb down or dull their light.
- Don’t trash other people – Confident women like themselves. They don’t have to talk badly about others in order to feel good about themselves.
- Surround themselves with people who make them better. – Confident women are not intimidated by other confident people. They like to be around people who make them feel inspired and capable, people who help them have greater vision
- Allow others to help – Confident women know they cannot do everything and be everywhere. They also know that no one “makes it” alone. Confident women delegate, outsource, and accept help from supportive friends and family. They are not worried that they will look helpless, or incompetent. They know they are neither of those things so they allow others to help them out. But of course they say thank you and show appreciation.
I think I have some of these traits and the potential to develop the rest. Most of them have to do with not worrying about judgement or other people’s actions.
I am a semi-confident woman. I do my best to exude confidence but sometimes it just doesn't happen.
I find it so funny when women are confident and strong – we get called a bitch. I think we all start finding our way somewhere in our thirty's and grow from there.
My dear confidence is like a muscle on your body, you need to work it out, sometimes past it's comfort zone for it to get 'stronger' =)
Tracy @ Ascending Butterfly
I like this check list! I think I am more confident than I realized
So very true! I hope to teach my daughter to be a confident woman!
I think I have some of those traits, but not all. I'm not really a confident person though.
The older I get, the more confident I become. That's funny too, since I'm at a new spot in my life where you'd think I wouldn't be confident. Go figure.
This is a great post. I have been working on being more confident. I will have to try these tips.
Love this. I'm very confident as a woman and I'm making sure my girls will be too. This is a great list! – Jeanine
I have some confident moments and things that I am confident about. I do have a few areas which are lacking that I need to work on.
I would like to think I am confident. I for sure am not afraid to make mistakes.
I would say that I am a confident woman. Great list!!
These are all great tips. I especially like the one about it being okay to be different.
Confidence is such an important trait. We all have things we excel at, and finding the courage to be confident in ourselves can be challenging, but the rewards are usually worth the risk.
The nicest compliment I ever got regarded being nice. My boss told me I could tell someone to go to hell in such a courteous fashion that they'd say "thank you" and go. My problem is "dumb down" – there's a time to make things a bit easier for people to understand, but how's a person going to learn if the path consists of rose petals? Good list here- thanks!
Why is it so challenging to ask for help when I'm swamped? I needed to see it written as a sign of confidence, not weakness.
Thanks for the reminder, I couldn't agree more with every point. I especially give kudos for those bold enough to ask for a raise (I need to blog about this) and those who don't speak ill of others. It's a reminder to be focused on ourselves and what we're doing and not overanalyze or nitpick others, now that's a confident woman!
I am a confident woman, but I do worry about being nice. There's a way to be firm and stand your ground, but in a nice and courteous manner.
I tried to raise my daughter to be a confident woman. I would like to think that I am pretty confident. I definitely see myself as a go getter.
What a great post. I think I cam confident for the most part. I need to work on asking other for help. Catherine S
I stopped being "nice" for the sake of being nice awhile ago and it's been nothing but smooth sailing ever since.
This is such a great article. I'm bookmarking this for those days when I'm either not feeling confident or someone tries to tell me that my confidence makes me a b*tch.
I have been told many time that I am overly confident LOL. I just know what I want 🙂
Oh, Arlett – you wrote them and said them and wow, I see my weaknesses AND am working on it with all my heart and soul! So grateful for this post!! There should be a class on confidence for girls in middle school. Required. Maybe sex ed should be gender ed and not only learn about reproduction… but also about empowerment. This list should be published on a pamphlet and put in every hygiene box. Seriously.
I wonder if there is anything like that out there?
Intriguing concept, actually!
Julie Jordan Scott
The Bold Writer from A to Z
Great list. I'm happy I found your blog through the A to Z Challenge.
Great post. Stopping by from the A to Z! Have a lovely day!
What a good list! My favorite one is #7. It took me a long time to realize that it's okay to be different and to accept that with confidence. Today I am very confident in who I am when it comes to #7!
I agree with Chystina about the not being concerned with being nice part. The wording here makes it sound so much better than what I usually say! LOL But I agree with everything on this list!
I have some confidence when it comes to confiding in friends who dont keep things to themselves… thank you for the post. made me smile… happy a to z
Not concerned with being nice is such a better way to say needs to be kind of a bitch – which is the way I usually say it. I'm going to roll with your wording from now on, sounds less… mean.