C is for Confident. I guess I could have also said C is for confession, because I have one. I am not as confident as I seem. Sure, I am confident about some things. I know I am smart. I know that I have pretty good people skills. But overall I am not as confident as I’d like to be.
At the beginning of the year I started my Vision Board for 2014 (its still not completed). The theme for the board was confidence because that is what I am working on this year. Unfortunately, I was having a hard time wrapping my mind around the idea of confidence. While we all know what it is, how it looks, and what it feels like, It is still a rather abstract concept. I got really great advice on this issue when I attended a S.H.A.R.E event at BellaNor Boutiqe. It was suggested that I think about people that I think are confident, what they do, and how they act. Based upon what I see in my female friends, family, and co-workers that I think of as confident, here are 11 Traits of Confident Women:
- Ask for what they want – Confident women are not worried about how others may judge them or if their requests will be deemed as appropriate. If they want a raise, more support from their spouse, etc.. They ask for it.
- Stand up for themselves – Confident women understand that standing up for themselves is not rude or disrespectful. Therefore, they don’t hesitate to do it when necessary.
- Not concerned with being nice – Confident women are not overly concerned with being nice. Not to say that they are not nice. They just don’t spend their time worrying about how others perceive their actions. They know they are a good person so they don’t have to spend time thinking about it.
- Don’t second guess themselves – Confident women trust their instincts. They make decisions and move forward. They don’t go over it again and again wondering if they did the right thing or beating themselves up if they did make a mistake.
- Not afraid to be wrong or make mistakes – Confident women know that they are human and will make their fair share of mistakes. They are not shamed or embarrassed by them. They view mistakes as life lessons.
- Go for what they want – Confident women set goals and go for them. They don’t waste time wondering if their goals are realistic. They don’t think up reasons why they don’t deserve or can’t have what they want. They keep their efforts positive and focused on what they want.
- OK with being different – Confident women don’t feel the need to be like or do what everyone else is doing. They don’t feel the need to go along with the crowd. They are equally content in their uniqueness or when with like minded individuals
- Not afraid to shine – Confident women view their skills, talents, and intelligence as positives. They are not afraid to use them. Even if they don’t love the attention they may receive, they will do their best in any given situation. They don’t dumb down or dull their light.
- Don’t trash other people – Confident women like themselves. They don’t have to talk badly about others in order to feel good about themselves.
- Surround themselves with people who make them better. – Confident women are not intimidated by other confident people. They like to be around people who make them feel inspired and capable, people who help them have greater vision
- Allow others to help – Confident women know they cannot do everything and be everywhere. They also know that no one “makes it” alone. Confident women delegate, outsource, and accept help from supportive friends and family. They are not worried that they will look helpless, or incompetent. They know they are neither of those things so they allow others to help them out. But of course they say thank you and show appreciation.
I think I have some of these traits and the potential to develop the rest. Most of them have to do with not worrying about judgement or other people’s actions.