Today is International day of happiness!
I have been living the spirit of the day for a while now. I have been really happy yall! The crazy part is just typing that out makes me feel anxious. Like I am going to jinx it or something. Then I have to remind myself that I don’t believe in jinx I believe in God who has great plans for me.
The reason I continue to write Chasing Joy after all of these years is because it can be hard to be happy. Even when things are going well, and I actually feel happy, it is a struggle. At my happiest moments there is a little dark cloud in the back of my mind saying whoa don’t get too happy. Remember what happened before. That little cloud is the aftermath of trauma.
I am all about counting my blessings but that dark cloud makes me think back on all that I experienced between ages 29 and 37. I won’t go into detail, it is International Day of Happiness after all. But these are things like losing my parents, miscarriage, heart break, and infertility. These are all things I’ve talked about before. I was definitely experiencing a period of loss. Now I am in a period of harvest. Unfortunately dread of that season ending surfaces in my happiest moments.
That is when I have to kick my positive self-talk into over drive. I remind myself that yes all things change. My season of loss has changed into a season of harvest. It will change again so I need to be in this moment. I need to stay in the present and enjoy the happiness that I am feeling. Don’t look back. Don’t dread the future. Be happy now. Smile now. Laugh now. Dance now. Kiss and hug Baby Joy Chaser NOW!!!! Then I count my blessings and focus on everything that is going right, right now!
Life is full of ups and downs. Challenging and uneventful times. If you are in a period of Harvest enjoy it focus on it and stay present in the moment. If you are in a period of loss know that the hard times will indeed pass. Be kind to yourself. Lean on your support system. Keep Chasing joy.
Does anyone else struggle with feelings of anxiety even when they are happy? How do you cope? How do you stay present? Let’s work together to overcome this.
Happy International Day of Happiness