Did you see Friday’s blog post on my decision to use a sperm donor to get pregnant? It was scary for me to publish that post because I know that not everyone would agree with my choice. As much as I ‘d like to say I don’t care what others think, its just not true. While other people’s opinions don’t dictate my choices and decisions, I have to admit that it feels so much better when everyone approves. I know not everyone approves of single motherhood (by choice or otherwise), sperm donors, or non-traditional families. So I know not everyone will have positive feedback on my post. So far I have not gotten any negative feed back. I did get one comment on how hard it is to be a parent and that it is harder without a dad. That comment got me thinking about how most things in life worth having or accomplishing are not easy. So, in that spirit today’s blog post is all about things that are hard but are worth it.
- Chasing Joy – Writing this blog is not easy. When I first started it I was trying to find a way out of a very dark place. What if if did not work? What if writing about wanting to be happy made me feel more depressed? The blog was a secret at first, one I only shared with my mom and a couple of friends. Over the years I have gone from anonymous to telling everyone I know including my employer. All of the really good blog posts (the ones that require me to be vulnerable and the ones that resonate with people) come with a huge feeling of fear when it’s time to hit publish. When I look at my Analytics and feel frustrated with my page views, bounce rate, etc.. blogging feels hard. However, writing Chasing Joy worked. I am way happier now than I was then. When someone comments thanking me for words of encouragement or says they feel the same as me on an issue I feel connected. I feel fulfilled. Chasing Joy is hard, but the Joy it gives makes it worth it.
- Losing Weight – I have been overweight most of my life. I put on weight in 5th grade and have been fighting to lose it since then. It is hard to crave sugar, fried foods, bread, and other things that immediately go to my hips. It is hard to move 200 plus pounds to on a treadmill, or to Zumba rhythms. It is hard to turn down food offered at work or not get second helpings. But It is also hard to only be able to shop in Lane Bryant, Torrid, and Ashley Stewart when shopping. It’s also hard to not love what you see in the mirror even when you love the person looking back at you in the mirror. I have lost weight a few times which makes me encouraged to lose weight again. Going up or down stairs without pain, shopping in any store I want, feeling sexy and curvy will make it worth it. Losing weight is hard but the Joy of feeling better about myself and being healthier make it worth it.
- Relationships – Oh boy, relationships can be hard. It does not matter if it is a relationship with your significant other, parent, child, friend, or sibling there will be times when it is hard. You have to compromise. You will not get your way. You have to put their needs ahead of your own. You have to open your heart and be vulnerable. At times you will feel taken advantage of, unappreciated, and left out. However, relationships allow you to feel connected and love. They bring birthday, holiday, and other types of celebrations. They give you others to count on, make you feel protected, and like you are not alone. Relationships are hard but the Joy they bring makes them worth it.
