I was checking out some of my fellow bloggers’ posts and saw a great quote on Contemporary Coach Deidre L. Knight’s page about forgiveness. I felt the need to comment on her post and obviously felt the need to copy my response on my here. I wanted to share my thoughts on forgiveness with you. Here is the definition of forgiveness from the Merriam Webster Dictionary – to give up resentment of or claim to requital for , to grant relief from payment of , to cease to feel resentment against (an offender) : pardon I think refusing to forgive others and even ourselves is blocking us from capturing lots and lots of Joy.
Here is my comment on Contemporary Coach Deidre L. Knight’s post:
I like “A healed memory is not a deleted memory”. I agree that forgiveness does not mean you forget. Once you have been wronged by someone or even yourself you cannot pretend it did not happen. But you can decide not to punish yourself or the other person. You can decide to be kind to the guilty party despite the wrong doing especially if the guilty party is yourself. You can accept the fact that you have been hurt and that it may take a while to heal but you can decide to focus on yourself, your own happiness, your own Joy, instead of any feelings of anger or revenge. This is what forgiveness is. Accepting that you have been hurt and deciding not to react with revenge or dwell on negative feelings toward the person who hurt you but to instead treat that person with kindness and respect. Forgiveness is not a feeling. It is a decision to respond positively even if it takes a while for your feelings to catch up with your actions. Don’t let negativity, anger, revenge stand in the way of your Joy. Learn to forgive, especially when the person needing forgiveness is yourself.