Life after death. It has been 1 year since my mom passed away. In some ways the year went super fast. Yet, I remember some days and weeks dragging on and on. Time is funny like that. Honestly, if the calendar didn’t say so I would not even believe it has been a whole year. My memories of my mom are still so fresh. I can still see her sitting on her corner of the couch or next to me in the passenger side of my car.
It has been a year and this is what I want you to know about life after death for those grieving the loss of a parent.
I am still grieving. There is no time limit on grief and it is different for everyone. I ache for my mom every day. I probably still cry over missing her once a week. But you know what it is ok. There is nothing wrong with me and there is nothing wrong with you if you have had or are having a similar experience. I know from losing my dad that in time it will get easier. The tears will be less even though the memories will remain. I can’t pinpoint exactly when I stopped grieving over my dad. It may have taken three or four years. I still miss my dad and think of him every day but the ache is not as painful and the pain of his absence is not as acute.
I now live in an alternative universe. Ok, let me explain. A weird thing happens when you lose someone so close to you like a mother or father. Everything that you see, hear , or experience seems the same yet it all feels different. Somehow the loss seeps into everything, even areas of your life that never included them, like work. Everything is the same but it all feels different, like an alternative universe in a sci fi movie.
I am still Chasing Joy. My mom had been sick with lung cancer for three years before she passed away. She knew that she did not have a lot of time left and gave me one of the greatests gifts. My mom wrote me a letter and told me where to find it so that I could read it after she passed. One of the things she said in the letter was she was happy that I was committed to Chasing Joy.
Having fun after you lose your mom or dad can be hard. In some ways you feel like you should not experience happiness without them. As if feeling happiness without them means you do not love or miss them. This is not true. Your loved one would want you to be happy and experience as much joy as you can. My mom was smart to remind me of my commitment to happiness and a joyful life. I own it to her to have a happy life.
Life after death or loss can be hard. Give yourself permission to feel how you feel. Try not to rush things. Grief takes time. You will never be the same. But, you can still have a happy joyful life. You just have to give yourself permission to do so.
Your mom in this picture looks just like you look now. How precious. Make no mistake. You blessed us by sharing. Thank you.
I am nostalgic because of the easter holidays.
Thank you! The Holidays bring up lots of memories 🙂
Janice Hartie says
Thank you for sharing your experience and what you are currently going through at the loss of both your parents. I loss my mother as you know the same time you lost your mommy. The last time I heard my mother’s voice was on my birthday last year. Yes I still cry over her and my grandmother. My mother did not raise me, but I continue to have a relationship with her even though she was not always there in my life. i drew closer to her as an adult. She was a great grandmother to her grandchildren and with the limited resources that she had, she always tried to make sure she took care of all of them on birthdays and holidays. Both her and my grandmother will be missed and yes it is still painful for me to live without them. I have not been to DC since my grandmother’s funeral. I need to get down there. Again thank you for sharing your experience.