Limiting beliefs are the worst. Most of us have them and like other forms of negative thinking and negative self talk they get in the way of our goal, relationships, and everything else.
So, I know logically that I am a very likable person. But for years I have had this limiting belief that because I was smart people would not really like me. l don’t know when it started but I held that belief for years. Up until a week ago actually.
Once I even had an ex-boyfriend say to me “Your so smart that’s why you have issues with people” when I complained about a disagreement I was having with a girlfriend . There was no basis at all for his observation. Yet, he said out loud the exact lie I’d been telling myself for years. It is no coincidence that I attracted someone who would say this to me. This is how limiting belief impact your relationships.
Other ways this limiting belief impacted my life include blaming any disagreement on the fact that the person didn’t really like me thereby making the issue personal when it might not have been. Being afraid to ask for help because why would people help someone they don’t like. Being afraid to be vulnerable because its hard to trust when you don’t think you are liked.
This sounds crazy right? I mean it sounds crazy to me and these are my own thoughts. Although many of them were subconscious until I really zeroed in on this limiting belief about a week ago.
I want you to think about your own limiting beliefs what lie you have been telling yourself for the last few years or maybe since childhood. This is your limiting belief. Recognize how crazy it sounds. Think about ways believing the lie may have impacted your decision making, relationships , your life.
Next week I will tell you the technique I learned for getting rid of my limiting belief. Come back for part 2.
So relate…..
Well God created you to be smart. Don’t dumb down to fit those who won’t accept you anyway. I’d be willing to bet someone else thinks you’re pretty cool.
I’ve been told…too smart for your own good….you think too much…what you were told almost exactly…..
I have been rejected by people who thought I was ….too….whatever. Do you boo.
Thanks for this topic and for being so candid. You really are helping us.
I just realized why they say these things…. because they feel inadequate…like they don’t measure up…so they try to cut you down so they can feel better.
Theory…if I make her feel bad or reject her then I don’t have to do any better or more than I’m doing now. Wow. Lightbulb moment.
So relate…..
Well God created you to be smart. Don’t dumb down to fit those who won’t accept you anyway. I’d be willing to bet someone else thinks you’re pretty cool.
I’ve been told…too smart for your own good….you think too much…what you were told almost exactly…..
I have been rejected by people who thought I was ….too….whatever.
Thanks for this topic and for being so candid. You really are helping us.
When I was young, I thought people did not like me because I was smart. However, there was some truth in that because it didn’t seem to me as though the kids around me wanted to learn anything. They seemed to prize being ignorant. Being intelligent was not being “Black.” That’s a sad aspect of Black life. Maybe it is not as bad as it once was. Maybe.
I no longer hunger after people liking me. Their loss, I think now. I only care if the person is someone I like. Then I want to be liked. But unless I am under someone’s thumb in some way, I survive them not liking me. Maybe I don’t like them either 😉
D7ana, I think that is really common for kids to not “like” the smart kids. I think it has more to do with their insecurity than a real dislike of the smart kid.
As an adult, like you I have not really worried about if people like me. But I am glad to be ride of that limiting belief.