Recently I have been having a hard time with my singleness. Even though I have decided to pursue becoming a single mother by choice that does not mean that I do not want a partner. I have been accepting applications for my Mr. Joy Chaser for a while now and have not been able to fill the position. I think my singleness has bothered me a bit more since losing my mom. The desire for someone to share important milestones in my life as well as mundane daily occurrences has intensified since I do not have her to share those moments with. Anyway, I have found myself questioning why I am single, why God wants me to be alone and not have a lifelong partner like everyone else.
This brings me to how my cats helped me understand why I am single. I have two cats. Peanut is my mature black and white male tuxedo cat. Buttercup is my crazy orange and white female adolescent kitty. Having recently been fixed she is no longer a kitten. They are cute and silly and have their own Instagram account. You should definitely follow them.
Yesterday Peanut did not greet me in the morning nor come to his bowl for breakfast. I went to check on him and found him looking sad. He had a little mucus (so gross) in the corners of his eyes and in general seemed under the weather. I called the vet and they could not see him for a few days. Since he has a history of bladder blockage, they told me to keep him and Buttercup separate so that I could monitor his food and bathroom habits.
This morning Peanut seemed to be feeling a lot better (hopefully, I will be able to cancel the vet appointment). Despite him seeming better, I wanted to be sure he was out of woods. Since I had to go into the day job, I had to separate the cats. I locked Buttercup on the 2nd floor and kept Peanut on the 1st. They are used to having run of the entire house so I felt bad in keeping them isolated. However, I knew it was for their own good. I need to know if Peanut is using the bathroom. If he does have a cold or virus t is better for Buttercup not to catch it from him. In addition, if he is not fully recuperated it is best that they do not interact as he could lash out.
A little while later while at work I thought of the cats and wondered how they were doing. I was feeling a little guilty thinking that they are probably feeling lonely locked on separate floors. That is when the epiphany came. Maybe God is keeping me isolated for my own good. God allows us to experience love so that we can attempt to understand how he loves us. As much as we love our significant others, parents, children, or in my case cats it is just a little itty bitty teeny tiny example of what His love for us is like. I love my cats enough to keep the apart and to temporarily disappoint and even upset them because it is for their own good. Of course, God would do the same for me!
Perhaps God is keeping me separated from my future Mr. Joy Chaser because he, I, or both of us are spiritually, financially, emotionally or otherwise unwell. Maybe he, I, or both of us need to be fully healed so that we do not end up lashing out and hurting each other. Perhaps he, I or, both of us simply need more time in our own space.
I am not capable of understanding why God has kept me single for the last 8 years any more than my cats can understand why I locked them in separate parts of the house. As I think about how much I love them and know that God loves me so much more I know that this period of singleness, including the feelings of loneliness that sometimes come with it, is for my greater good. Therefore, I will keep on growing, improving, and Chasing Joy until God brings my Mr. Joy Chaser to me.
That is how my cats are helping me understand why I am single. Pets are awesome! They are constantly helping us and even teaching us if you are open to the lessons. Do you have any pets? Has your cat or dog given you any epiphanies or taught you any life lessons?