Valentine’s Day is this week. It is a lovely holiday for expressing love for others and it is especially nice if you have a BAE, you know a significant other. But that is not the case for many of us. I am very much single but it’s ok because I have been single for a while and know how to still have an awesome Valentine’s day. Unfortunately I know some of you may not just be single but may be newly single as in fresh out of a breakup. I know Valentine’s day may be the last thing you want to read about right now. So instead of discussing Valentine’s Day let’s talk about the best ways to recover from or get over a breakup.
So it has been a while since I went through and official breakup. Actually my last official break up sent me to therapy. LOL Okay there were other things happening at the same time that also lead me to therapy, not just the breakup. Since then I have dated some guys and had crushes that didn’t work out and while those are not the same as an official breakup I have had some bruised feelings and what not. How I got over those situations and break ups in the past was by confiding in friends and family members that I trust, working out, and staying busy. A time or two I even started new a new meal plan and lost some weight. That can be an awesome confidence builder after a breakup.
I decided to reach out to my friends on social media to see what they had to say about ways to recover from or get over a breakup. Lot’s of the advice centered around self-care which makes perfect sense. When you are feeling sad or disappointed is the perfect time to be kind to and take extra care of yourself. Other’s advised getting introspective. This also makes a lot of sense because we can learn a lot about ourselves from our dating and relationship experiences. There were also several responses that mentioned turning to God. This is also great advice. The reason I consider Faith to be a Pillar of Joy is because when we go through hard times, like a breakup it is helpful to be able to turn to our Faith for support and comfort.
Here are a few of the responses to my questions on Facebook and Instagram.
I ask myself five major questions, was this person for me? How did he make me feel? Did I see this relationship going somewhere? What were the things that bothered me about this person? Why did we break up? Once I have finished dealing with my own stuff, I then deal with my spiritual stuff, which is no good thing will GOD withhold from me! That means that this person was not GOD’S best for me and I refuse to settle for anything. ~ Michelle
Time and prayer. No magic bullet ~ Herman
A good cry, prayer, some retail therapy and some ultimate me time ( mani, pedi, massage etc.) ~ Dominique
OMG! This last 1 required me to spiritually break a stronghold. I started getting up at 5:30 in the morning for a prayer call. I still do it to this day over 18 months later. I would say the stronghold broke after about 6 weeks of really just seeking God. Of course cleansing through crying helped too. I re-launched an old business and started rediscovering myself ~ Meredith of Maurita’s Essentials
I try to stay present and appreciate the people around me. I treat myself to something nice. I reflect on what I learned about myself through that relationship and adjust my standards list. I give my self a few weeks or months (depending in relationship length) to grieve the death of the relationship and I look for something positive to replace it like an exercise or cooking class. I also may try to complete something on my bucket list. I also might change my hairstyle or something:) ~ Veronica
My thoughts have to do with seeking “closure” after a breakup. Entertainer Steve Harvey often talks about women seeking closure from men who are not willing or able to provide it. My take on closure is that what we are actually looking for is answers to questions about ourselves that have likely been lurking around for a long time. The problem is that we are looking for those answers outside of ourselves rather than doing the work of self-examination. An example of such a question might be, “Do I have worth or value?” This question, when asked of one’s self, can lead to an exploration of life experiences that have either contributed to, or detracted from, one’s sense of their own worth. From here, any healing work that needs to take place can begin . . . . ~ Leslie of Leslie Glass & Associates
With Doritos, Jalapeño Cheddar Cheetos, red juice drinks, and romantic comedies. ~ @WritterChanelle of Writer Chanelle
I workout a bunch, dolly up, and make them so regret it! Their loss not mine! ~@kierankull
Pamper me, workout out, enjoy chocolate and laugh at their foolishness! ~ @cocoamommy1 of Cocoa Mommy
Cry, sulk, eat ice cream….plenty of ice cream, kickboxing, hanging out with good friends, shopping, throwing darts at his picture, throwing away or burning all his crap, get a promotion or a degree or an advanced degree. ~@gracefully.yours
Travel! Catch flights not feelings! Lol. ~ @asskicker.in.training
I cried for two days and then did a massive clean out of the house. I made sure there was nothing of his in my home. Gave it all to him and then brought a new lounge and bedroom furniture. I felt a little better then. ~ @hopeforafuture
Exercise, Pray & Love Yourself ? ~ @classysharelle of ClassySharelle.com
I think these guys gave some awesome advice on how to recover from or get over a breakup!!!
I know with Valentine’s Day being this week there will be an increased focus on romantic love and relationships. If you are in the midst of or recovering from a breakeup I hope you found the advice above helpful. Go do something nice for yourself. Practice some self-care, work on your goals, and rely on your faith. It will get better.
What is your advice for anyone going through a break up right now?
P.S. Make sure you are following me on Facebook and Instagram so you can give your feedback the next time I do a little crowd sourcing. 🙂