When I move life will be so much better. I will have so much more fun.
When I get a car everything will be much less stressful. It will be great.
When I lose this weight I will have so much fun.
When I get married I will never be lonely.
When I have kids I will have an excuse to do fun kiddy things again.
I am guilty of having had all of the above thoughts. When I write them out I realize how silly and unrealistic they sound. I am the girl who is always planning for the next big thing, the next goal, the next milestone. I have found much happiness in having accomplished goals. Not happiness while working toward the goal, but delayed gratification and then happiness at the time of dream fulfillment. This way of thinking leads to lots of waiting for x, y, and z to happen before happiness can be experienced. Lot’s of “just get through this” and one day you’ll have fun, be less stress, not be lonely, and be a kid at heart, type of thinking.
There is nothing wrong with a little delayed gratification. It is good for our waist line, wallet, and self-control. But a life time of it is just sad. I don’t want this sad kind of life any more. I want to experience the Joy of accomplishing goals but also enjoy every day in between. I want to delay gratification only within reason and not as a way of life as though happiness is only deserved when specific milestones are reached.
I want a better life now.
I want less stress now.
I want to have fun now.
I want to ward of loneliness now.
I want to unleash my inner kid now.
Have you ever disallowed yourself to be happy until certain milestones or accomplishments were met? Are you ready to let yourself experience Joy just because it is Joyful to be alive and working toward those goals and milestones?
Janeane Davis says
It was nice for you to write about finding joy in delayed gratification. That is a lesson many people need to learn.
Hanifah Munadi says
It's called be thankful for the right now because this is all we have at the moment, and hope for tomorrow. This is a fantastic article and such a powerful reminder. Thanks for sharing.
chasingjoy says
Thanks so much Hanifa. you are so right. Right now is the only moment guaranteed.