Chasing Joy

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Feel Good Friday – Learn How to Cheer Up and Feel Better.

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I just love the Internet. You can find anything on it. Recently I came across this article entitled Learn How To Feel Good, Cheer Up and Feel Better Now. I am so focused on my quest for joy and feeling down in the dumps is very much the opposite of that. So, I thought learning how to feel good and cheer yourself up would be a perfect topic for Feel Good Friday.

The article gave four tips that you could use together or separately to help yourself feel good or cheer up.
  1. Create a “feel good file” – a list of of every accomplishment you are proud of from as far back as you can remember. Add to the list every time you receive a complement or achieve an accomplishment. Then read your “feel good file” anytime you are feeling down or just want a self esteem boost.

  2. Create a “personal values file” – a list of all the personal values that are important to you. Read through you list and acknowledge that anyone with those values is definitely a good person.

  3. Create a “favorite activities file” – a list of all the activities you like to do including ones from your childhood because there may be adult versions of them. When you need to feel good just pick an activity from the list and do it. If doing it is not practical simply daydream about it.

  4. Think about your personal strengths and then choose an activity that will allow you to use one of you strengths. If you are not sure of your strengths you can take the University of Pennsylvania’s Survey of Character Strengths questionnaire to help you identify them.

I think these are excellent tips and I will use them to help me feel better whenever I need cheering up. I already started building my “files” and I also took the Strengths questionnaire. Here is what I have so far.Feel Good File – my accomplishments include:

  • perfect attendance from K to 12th grade with the exceptions of 2 weeks out for chicken pox, 1 day out for a fractured ankle, and 1 day out in 11th grade for a stomach virus

  • Salutatorian of my 8th grade class

  • Graduated #4 out of several hundred students in my high school c lass

  • Graduating Summa Cum Laude from Temple University

  • Buying a house and a car on my own at the age of 25

  • Learning to recognize when I am not happy in work situations and having the courage to find new positions

  • Maintaining friendships for over 10 and 20 years

  • Not losing my faith in God after my dad died and my relationship ended

  • Starting this Blog

Personal Values File – my personal values include:

  • Intelligent

  • Kind

  • Generous

  • Logical

  • Self Improving

  • Honest

  • God-fearing

  • Considerate

  • Strong

  • Supportive

  • Helpful

  • Loyal

  • Optimistic

  • A Good Daughter

  • Faith

Favorite Activities file includes:

  • Coloring

  • Dancing

  • Cooking

  • Reading

  • Talking to Friends

  • Shopping

  • Watching TV

  • Eating at Fancy Restaurants

  • Spa Treatments

  • Playing With My Cat and Dog

  • Surfing the Internet

I found the results of the strength survey to be very accurate. They are as follows:

  • Caution – I do not do or say things that I may regret later

  • Judgement and open-mindedness – I think things through examining all sides without jumping to conclusions. I base decisions on evidence and allow my self to change my mind.

  • Fairness – I treat people fairly and don’t let my personal feelings influence my decisions about other people. I give everyone a chance.

  • Gratitude – I am aware of my blessings and I do not take them or my friends and family for granted.

  • Spirituality/Faith – My beliefs shape my actions and are a source of comfort for me.

This was a great exercise and a definite self esteem boost. I’ll definitely refer back to it if I feel Joy moving out of my reach. Please share your thoughts on this as well as some of the things on your lists.

Joy Playlist

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A few weeks back I received some suggestions on things to do to boost your mood when feeling down. One of the suggestions I received was listen to music. I’d heard people say this before. I must admit I am not a music lover. I like music. I like to dance. I really like the sound of real instruments. But I cannot say I love music. I’m not permanently attached to my IPod. As matter of fact when I went to use it at the gym the other day I had not even realized that the battery had died.

I think the reason I have never Loved music is because music can bring on emotions and memories like nothing else. Sometimes, especially when I have been feeling down I have not been wanted to take that emotional walk down memory lane. For example in a 30 min car ride listening to any random radio station I could hear a song that reminds me of a college party, a past relationship, my childhood, a loved one who’s passed, and maybe just a memory of seeing an artist live in concert. Music will bring about good and bad memories happy and sad emotions. To avoid the risk of bad memories and sadness I’ve often turned away from music when I feeling down and turned my car radio dial to talk radio.

However, I am on a mission here. I am changing my life. I am Chasing Joy. In the spirit of my mission I’m willing to try the things that have been suggested to me and so I turned my ear to music and listened to hear the Joy…

To avoid the randomness of radio and TV I turned to YouTube. I looked up songs that no matter what my mood always provided me with a good memory and or made me feel happy. So now I have a great Joy Playlist to put on my IPod. Here is a list of those songs, some of the lyrics that spoke to me, and why they put me in a better place.

Destiny’s Child: Bootylicious – This song makes appreciate my curves and always makes me want to get up and dance … “I don’t think you ready for this cause my body to Bootylicious for you”
Independent Women Part 1 –This song makes me feel good for being a strong woman capable of taking care of myself. “Shoes on my feet I bought it, the house I live in I bought it, the car I’m driving, I depend on me”

Erica Badu: Bag Lady – This song always reminds me to “Pack light” and not hold on to baggage. “let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go” “All you must hold on to, is you, is you, is you”

Ice Cube: Today Was a Good day –This is the first CD that I ever purchased. I got the single when I was about 12. This was before they stuck the parental advisory sticker on everything. I loved how Ice Cube appreciated all the little things that went his way that day (before he get’s arrested, lol) “Just waking up in the morning got to thank God. I don’t know but today seems kind of odd. No barking form the dog, no smog, and momma cooked a breakfast with no hog”Subscribe

India Arie: Video – This song is just great for any woman’s self esteem. “Every Freckle on my face is where it’s supposed to be.” “I know my creator didn’t make no mistakes on me. My feet, my thighs, my lips, my eyes I’m loving what I see.” I’m not built like a supermodel but I’ve learned to love myself unconditionally because I am a queen.” “Go ahead and love yourself cause everything is gone to be alright.”

Jill Scott: Golden – This song taught me to live my life to the fullest and put joy in my soul and aim to please God. “I be high stepping yall and letting the joy unfold” “representing God’s glory. Hope He’s proud of me.”

Kirk Franklin: Brighter Day – This song is so uplifting. It just makes me smile. “I never knew I could be so happy. I never knew I’d feel so secure because of Your love life has brand new meaning. It’s going to be a brighter day”

Lil Kim: I know. Lil Kim right after Kirk Franklin???? What can I say, I like a mix. Despite Kim’s raunchiness I’ve always found her to be strong, confident, and sexy.
No time – This song reminds me of high school and being a teenager. “I got no time for fake N*****s” “While you N*****s talking $#!t I’m counting bank figures.” “You can’t’ stop a chick from ballin” “Beside every man is a bad girl”
Quiet Storm – This takes me back to partying at the Orchid Room (Dowling’s Palace) when I was in college at Temple. Good Times!!!! “I’m a leader you on some following $!it” “I put 100% in every line I drop!” “yall wish yall lived the life I live!”
Get Money – Love it! This one also takes me back to high school memories. “ Now you want to by me diamonds and Armani suits , Adrienne Vittadini and Channel Nine boots, things to make up for all the games and the lies Hallmark cards saying I apologize… How could you ever deceived me paybacks for real… believe me.”

Mary J Bleige: I love her. Her lyrics just speak for themselves.
Be Happy – “how can I love somebody else if I can’t love myself enough to know when It’s time, time to let go” “I just want to be so happy but the answer lies in me…”
Just fine – “I like what I see… when I’m walking past the mirror “ “Don’t worry about you and what you going to do, I’m a lady and I must stay classy.” “I ain’t gone let nothing get in my way, no matter what nobody has to say.” “Feels so good when you are doing all the things that you want to do.”
Dance For Me – This song reminds me that whether I am floating feel high feeling the vibe or feeling stressed cause my week was a mess I can get on the floor and Dance for me. I can leave all my troubles and cares behind and dance for myself.

Mary Mary: Heaven – This song makes me feel happy and reminds me of how good Heaven will be and that I’ll see my dad again when I get there. “Got to get myself together cause I’ve got some place to go and I’m praying when I get there I see everyone I know.” “In life we go through changes though we know it serves a purpose sometimes it just seems worthless” “as long as I keep running I’m gone make it there someday I know.” “Every day I’m getting better cause I want to make it in.” “It get’s hard sometimes, sometimes I lose my way. But God knows I’m trying to get to Heaven someday.”
God In Me – This song reminds me of God’s blessings and His presence in my life. “You look at her life think she got it made” “Everything she got the girls been given…She call it a blessing.” “What you can’t see is she’s on her knees and if you ask her she’ll tell you it’s the God in me.”

Natasha Bedingfield: Unwritten – This song teaches me to not live life through other people’s experiences and take chances. “Release your inhibitions,” “live your life with arms wide open, today ends where your book begins the rest is just unwritten.”

Notorious B.I.G. Biggie Smalls: Juicy – I loved this song the first time I heard it. It is about all about looking back, seeing and celebrating how far you’ve come while still focusing and looking ahead. “Know who you are, don’t let them hold you down, reach for the stars.”

RUN DMC and Aerosmith: Walk This Way – I remember dancing to this as a little girl. This song gave me an appreciate rock music.

Salt N Pepa: I’ve always loved Salt n Pepa. I have always felt they were pretty and looked to be having fun and enjoying life in their songs.
Shake Your Thang – This song reminds me of my childhood and making up a dance to it with girls in my neighborhood. I like how the song encourages women to take ownership of their bodies. “It’s your thang do what you want to do” “If a guy touch my body I just put him in check and say we just met we can’t do that yet” “It’s my body and I’ll shake it crazy!!!”

Tye Tribet: Victory – This song has a great beat and is also very uplifting. “There is no Failure… Our God can never lose and that same power it now belongs to me““Every situation I face I’ll win.. Everything works for my good in the end.” “My God causes me to Triumph and overcome.”

I’m sure there are many other Joy inspiring songs out there. What songs are on your Joy Playlist???

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