Chasing Joy

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Dear 2014, Goodbye & Good Riddance

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Dear 2014,

You sucked! I know that’s kind of harsh and not very Joyful but I had high hopes for you and you let me down.  I had hopes of love, career improvements, and improved social life.  Instead you brought me the words “oh I have no intention of getting into any kind of relationship” from the one I thought I wanted followed by lots of very unfruitful dates, work stress, distance from friends,  less people available to hang out with, lack of support from family when I really needed it, the lost of two pets, Hurty and Pinto, missing Blogalicious, plus my mom was sick way too often. All of that was just my life. Lets not forget 2 vanishing plans, Ebola, and the need for the #HandsUpDontShoot and #BlackLivesMatter movements. Don’t you see how you let me down 2014?

Now I’m not saying you didn’t do anything right 2014.  There were many moments over the last 12 months that were very Joyful.  One of the most joyful of these moments was attending Oprah’s the life you want tour.  Seeing Oprah live is something that Id wanted to do since I first started watching her talk show when I was in college.

This year I wanted to become more confident.  While I still have a ways to go, and plan to continue working on it in 2015, you did give me the confidence to wear a bikini for the first time ever 2014.

Other Joyful moments included hosting two Chasing Joy Brunch & Learn events, attending Women Get Social and Fit Retreat Philadelphia, watching my niece and two of my nephews graduate, celebrating my birthday with friends, getting dressed up for the Red Ball and for a 1920s themed party.  Hmm… ok maybe you did not suck as much as I thought.

2014, I don’t know, maybe my expectations were too high??  I mean your main job was to carry me through the year and that you did.  I am not ungrateful.  Thank you 2014 for all of the Joyful moments above. Thank you for bringing my mom home from the hospital many times in 2014. Thank you for keeping my family whole,  with no losses other than pets this year.  Thank you for allowing me too have greater insight on who I can depend on. Thank you for allowing me to have paid all of my bills and remained in my home this year.  Most of all 2014 thank you for helping me with something that has weighted heavily on me since I was a teen.  Thank you for finally letting me find a church that I like.

2014, while I stand by my statement that you kind of sucked, its clear you were about business, keeping my family whole and blessing me with a place of worship. Thank you for all that you are and i accept all that you weren’t.

Good bye 2014.

How was 2014 for you? What would you say in your farewell letter.

Would You Rather Chase Joy Or….

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Happy Monday!! I thought I’d keep it lite and fun today with a little game of would you rather.  I visited www.rrrather.com and made up a few of my own questions. My answers are below.

Would you rather…

  1. be able to fly or read people’s minds? Fly because I’d never have to get on a plan again. I hate flying so much!
  2. be famous or the best friend of someone  famous?  Best friend. I’d get most of the perks and less if any TMZ exposure.
  3. find true love or $10,000,000? Love. I guess I am a romantic.
  4. have more time or more money? More time.  You can always make more money once it’s spent.  Time is gone permanently once spent.
  5. be the smartest person or the hottest person?  I’d pick the hottest. I think I’m pretty smart (not the smartest though).  I think being the hottest could be more fun.
  6. One innocent person executed for a crime they did not commit or 10 guilty (rapist, murders, etc..) get off Scott free? I’d rather the criminals go free and hope that Karma would do its thing.
  7. get a piercing or a tattoo? I have neither (other than my ears) but the piercing just seems like it would hurt too much.  
  8. Hakuna Matta or YOLO (you only live once?.  I’d pick Hakuna Matta all day every day.  No worries sounds like a dream come true.  You do only live once but I don’t want to make a habit of making decisions out of a now or never sense of desperation. 
  9. Always know if someone was lying or always get away with lying?  I’d definitely want to know when others were lying.   I am pretty honest it be good to know who else was a truth teller.
  10. Read/ Watch Harry Potter or Twilight?  Twilight! Vampires are just so much more interesting than kid wizards.  
  11. wear only 80s clothing or wear only 80s hair styles?  This one is hard!  I’d have to go with the hairstyles.
  12. be a miserable genius or a happy moron?  Moron!!!  Did you notice the name of this blog?  I’d have to go with being happy.  
  13. have 10 wishes (can’t wish for money) or 10 Billion dollars?  Show me the money!!!  I can purchase all of the material things I want with 10 billion.  Besides I might not word my wishes properly and have them backfire on me.  We’ve all seen that happen on TV and in the movies.
  14. live as a black man in the 1800s in the southern United States or live as a woman in Afghanistan now?  Damn this is a hard one.  I am leaning toward being a black man in the 1800s.  I have a hard time imagining myself as another race.  Also I would have an easier time being Christian.
  15. Go to Heaven or Live on Earth forever?  Heaven!!!  Things on earth can be pretty rough, climate change, war, Ebola, etc…
  16. know everything or let some things stay secret?  I am nosy and inquisitive by nature.  However, I have learned that while knowledge is power ignorance can be bliss.  I don’t need to know everything.  Some things can stay secret.  Just let me know about the things I can change or influence.  If I can’t do anything about it, keep it to yourself.
  17. have a Pepsi or Coke?  All of my friends from college know how I’d answer this.  Pepsi!!!  It is my favorite soda.  I even did the Pepsi Challenge once and picked the Pepsi over Coke.
  18. be stuck for 5 hours in a broken elevator or a broken ski lift?  Elevator.  There is no risk of falling or freezing.
  19. for Christmas receive money or receive gifts? I want gifts!  I tend to do boring things with money, like pay bills and save it.  Also gifts make me feel like the person thought about what I might want.
  20. indulge on pumpkin or sweet potato pie for Thanksgiving?  I love sweet potato pie and have mastered my family recipe. No pumpkin for me, unless of course there were no sweet potato.  
I’d love to learn what the following blogger friends would rather do.  
Friends are invited to answer the above would you rather questions on your blog or social media account, create 2 of their own questions, and invite a few of their own friends to join in.
Everyone else is invited to join the fun as well.  What do you think of my answers?  Which is your favorite question and how would you answer it?

The Worst And Best Of The Weekend

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My friend Chrystina from ChrystinaNoel.com has a link up on Fridays.  I normally don’t participate because I am busy with my own weekly #FlashbackFriday link up.   Fortunately and unfortunately the events of this past weekend provided the perfect content for me to join in Chrystina’s link up.

Chrystina’s link up is called 1 down 1 up.  The writing prompt for the link-up is to discuss the worst and best things to happen to you this week.  The hashtag is #1down1up.

This weekend i definitely had a 1 down and 1 up.

1 Down
I’ll start with the bad news.  This weekend my cat Pinto passed away.  She was actually my dad’s cat.  I wrote the following tribute to her online.

RIP to my dad’s loyal cat Pinto. He picked her out over 14 years ago. He named her pinto after the Pinto Stallion variety of horses. He wanted her all to himself stating only he’d be allowed to feed her because she was “his cat”. She remained loyal to him even after he died. She grieved for him noticeable even losing some fur.

She eventualy learned to tolerate me and my mom. Allowing us to tend to her. Acknowledging us with eye rolls and sharp meows for food that could only be translated as “food now damn it” Lol. She did allow me to put a St. Patrick’s day hat on her once for my birthday and also learned to tolerate the other furry family members who came after her.

She will be missed. I’ll imagine her sitting beside my dad in heaven along with Hurt getting head rubs. Back with her person. The one she picked out over 14 years ago.
RIP Pinto.

1 Up
I love dressing up. I like to put on a beautiful dress and have my hair done, kick my makeup up a notch, grab a sparkly clutch and some jewelry and head out. It just so happens that I clean up pretty well and enjoy the transformation. I also happen to like dressing up in costume.  Wearing a wig and an outfit that’s outside of my normal repertoire is exciting.

I think I love dressing up and dressing in costume so much because it allows me to show another side of myself. Not a hidden side just a side that I don’t often have a chance to display.  People tend to have a view of me that is far more conservative and shy than i truly am. I enjoy shaking that view up a bit.

This weekend i had the chance to both dress up and in costume. I was invited to a 1920s themed party.  I was not sure what to wear at first but I lucked out and found a cute dress, gloves,  a head band, hair clip, and wig to transform me into a 1920s version of myself. I even Googled1920s makeup, went heavier on the blush than normal am managed to finally get the smokey eye right.  I had a great time in my ensemble  and am even reconsidering my “I don’t wear wigs”.

I enjoyed participating in the #1Down1Up linky.  It reminds us that nothing is all bad. Even when we have really bad experiences there is often something else happening that can give us a reason to smile and find some Joy.

How was your weekend?  I hope it was heavy on the 1 ups and light on the 1 downs and that you were able to find some joy.

Increase Blog Traffic on #FlashbackFriday: A Joyful Detour

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Happy Friday Joy Chasers!!!

How was your week? I hope it was a good one.  If it wasn’t maybe you can make up for it over the weekend.  Make some fun plans.  If you have been reading along as I set SMART Goals you know one of y goals is t have more fun and part of that is having something planned for the weekends.  I can’t hang out with Oprah every weekend so this weekend my fun thing is dinner out with one of my girlfriends.  I’m looking forward to catching up with her and maybe even discussing old times.

Speaking of old times, It’s #FlashbackFriday!!! #FlashbackFriday is a great way to increase traffic to your blog Every Friday on Chasing Joy we flash back to some of our older posts to give them a moment in the spotlight.  Pick any older post you like and add it below.  Link ups are fun!!!    You can also increase blog traffic by sharing your post on the Chasing Joy Facebook page and on Twitter using the hashtag #FlashbackFriday.  Also, I will Pin your post to the new #FlashbackFirday Pinterest Board,

My favorite post from last week’s link up is Julie V’s Post Chicken Shawarma.  Julie says, “Shawarma is an Arabic dish, very seasoned meat served on pitas”  Sounds good to me!

This week I am linking up A Joyful Detour.  This post is about a time when I got a little lost while walking my dog Hurt in the park.  The detour lead us to a discovery and learning all about Disc Golf.  That was a great afternoon. Boy, do I miss my pup!!!

Now it is your turn.  Increase blog traffic, find new readers, and new blogs via the power of the linky.  Add your link below!

Leave a comment telling us what you are linking up this week.  



A Joyful June

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I can’t believe it is already July.   June flew by so quickly.   While the month ended on a sad note there was still many Joyful moments earlier in the month.

  • I wore shorts! I know that is not really a big deal. But, I wore them to the gym and worked out in them, something I have never done.   It is super hit right now and I should accept my body enough to show a little leg, even at the gym. 

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  • Even though my dog passed away it gave me great joy earlier in the month when so many people prayed for him. Hurt did get better after all of the prayers and we were blessed to have him for two more weeks.  
  • Graduations! My family was blessed to have had three graduates this year.  I am very proud of my niece and nephews.
  • If you are on Instagram than you had to have seen the Kermit The Frog memes.  They were so funny that I created my own. 
  • The#CJBL Twitter chat was so awesome!  The energy was great. The chat made me so excited for the Chasing Joy Brunch & Learn.   The next #CJBL Twitter chat will be Monday, July 21st, 8PM EST.
  • Dates! As you all know I am looking for my Mr. Joy Chasers.   While I did not find him in June I enjoyed going on several nice dates.  
  • Like I mentioned in my calling it quits video I have been changing my diet and its working.  A nice highlight of June was wearing a dress that had been a little too small. Now the dress is a  little too big. I even tweeted about it. 
  • In June I also introduced you guys to a new member of the Chasing Joy team, Ambassador Samantha!
  • Last but certainly not least, my Asiatic Lillie’s bloomed filling my front patio with beauty and me with Joy. 
Sometimes when we are in the moment it seems like nothing good, nice, or beautiful happens.  That’s why I like to look back over the month and remember all of the things that gave me Joy.  What filled you with Joy in the month of June???

It is Better To Have Loved & Lost Than Never Loved At All

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Joy Chasers I have a heavy heart today.  On Saturday my dog Hurt passed away.  I knew it was coming, but there really is no way to prepare for it. He was a really strong little guy, even a Cancer Survivor. The vet had counted him out only a few weeks ago, but he bounced back, aided by lots of prayers I’m sure. But he could not bounce back this time.

On Saturday I posted a little tribute on Facebook to him.  I thanked him for taking care of us.  While I took care of his food, grooming, and medical care, he took care of us.   Hurt came into my life via my ex-boyfriend.  My dad really took to him and when he needed a new home, I took him in largely to make my dad happy.  My dad had just received a cancer diagnosis. My dad loved how Hurt would sit at his feet all day and follow him around the house.  After my dad died Hurt’s excitement made it bearable to come home from work to a house without my dad.  When I broke up with the ex-boyfriend a few months after my dad died and I was depressed , it was taking care of Hurt that got me out of the bed.  He took care of us.

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Post by Chasing Joy.

Even after Hurt’s age caught up with him, the tumor removal, the heart disease, seizure condition, and gum disease, he reminded the sweet sweet pup we first met. He did get a little more bossy after he realized we were his forever family. But he was always happy to see us. He followed us around the house. You could always find him sitting by our feet, by our beds, and laying on our shoes.

I knew from the beginning that Hurt was an old guy and that we might not have much time with him. So while I am really really missing him right now I am also just really thankful to have had him.  When we open our hearts to an animal or a person we do it knowing that it might not last. Things may not work out, or nature may take its course and take our loved ones away.  But I say open your heart anyway.  Hurt gave us a great 5 years.  So while I am sad, I confirm,  that it is far better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

Thank you for loving us Hurty and giving us so much Joy!

Avoid These Dating Red Flags to Have A Joyful Relationship!

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In the last couple of weeks I have been on a couple of nice dates.  I know, that’s almost shocking coming from me considering some of the dates I’ve been on with CAJTs.  So far so good.

These dates have actually been right on time as a couple weeks ago I went to a workshop with Damaris and Yaritza of S.H.A.R.E (speakers at the upcoming Chasing Joy Brunch & Learn) on dating.  Specifically the workshop was on Spotting Red Flags while dating. These Red Flags are things to look for when you first start dating and should be seen as stop signs indicating that maybe you should not go further with the relationship.

This was a great workshop for me for a few reasons, not including the timing.  1. It listed red flags you should look for in the person your dating when the relationship is new. 2. The ladies pointed out that these Red Flags are also things to look for in yourself to make sure you are not exhibiting behaviors that would turn off potential partners. 3. It went over the difference between things that are Red Flags vs. normal things that come up in relationships.  I really appreciated that third point because in past relationships I have ignored Red Flags thinking no one is perfect and probably passed on guys exhibiting more normal issues mistaking them for Red Flags.

So for all of you Joy Chasers out there in the dating world with me, here are the Red Flags to keep an eye out for:

Red Flags
1. Cheating
2. Secretive behaviors like hiding their cell phone, keeping you apart from their friends, secretive about social media
3. Lying and omitting things.
4. Lack of trust. This is super important. Trust is part of the foundation of a healthy relationship.
5. Signs of anger issues.  Examples are bad temper, road rage, screaming at you,  throwing things and explosive responses. Take note of how they treat strangers and animals.
6. Selfishness, like not being there for you.  Showing a lack of concern for your needs and feelings.
7. Possessive and controlling.
8. Not dependable. Signs of this include financial instability, losing jobs every 6 month, can’t pay bills, and lack of follow through. What a person says and what they do should match

I love the fact that the ladies went over common things that come up as issues in relationships.  No person and therefore no relationship is perfect.  Having some issues is normal.  Below are normal issues that couples may face that can be worked through.  These are Not Red Flags.

Normal issues
1. Communication issues are really common.  They can be helped by addressing things that bother you right away, not bottling things up. That often leads to explosions.  It is your job to make sure you are being understood, so don’t make assumptions.
2. Financial issues arise. Layoffs and debt are common.
3. Taking each other for granted  and  lack of appreciation. These breed resentment
4. Distribution of responsibilities in the home. Ex: housework
5. Parenting responsibilities. This also includes the responsibilities and expectations of step-parents.

These normal issues are things that can be worked through.  However, they are also things that can cause a relationship to end down the line.  Tips for dealing with these normal issues include
1. Stop having conversations through text. Flirting and quick messages are fine through text. Important conversations are not meant for texts.
2. Stay in the present address things the same day. Don’t let issues and hurt feelings linger.
3. Practice active listening. Repeat to the person what you heard them say and ask them to repeat what they heard you say.

What do you think of these Red Flags? Do we need to add any to the list? 

Say Yes To Joy

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Y is for Yes!

Did you ever see the Jim Carey movie The Yes Man?  It was a cute movie. It is about a guy (played by Jim Carey) who always says no to everything.  Then for a reason I cannot remember the guy becomes unable to say no. He says yes to every single thing. This leads to a bunch of precarious and silly situations.

Even though I only watched it once I really liked the movie.  It made me think about myself.   While I’m not as bad as the guy in the movie,  I am a naturally cautious person.  When facing new opportunities or even simple requests my mind immediately looks for reasons to say no. Only after all reasons to say no have been ruled out and all of the risks have been considered will I say yes.

What would happen if I could reverse this way of thinking? How many more opportunities would I take advantage off? How many people would I meet how much more Joy would I experience?

I think it’s time I started copying what I see on TV and become more of a Yes woman.  Just without the antics.  Ok, maybe even with them, a few of  antics never hurt anyone.

Are you naturally a Yes person or a No person? What is your typical first reaction when presented with yes or no decisions.?

The Joy I’ll Have When The Snow is Gone!!!

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UGH!  Snow again!!!  Not today, but tomorrow, according to the news.  If you are in the North Eastern part of the United States you have to be as sick of it as I am.  I don’t mind the time off from work, but I do mind the slick roads, lack of parking spots, and the not so pretty piles of dirty black and gray snow.  
Until the snow melts and we get through the next few weeks I will focus on these images and think about the Joyful times I will have when winter is over.
Doing a little grilling!
Spending time with the pup. 
Taking Hurty to the park.
Growing beautiful flowers on my front patio.
Enjoying happy hours with friends.
Maybe I’ll have a few people over for a BBQ.
Walking the Dog by the river.  

Wearing cute little dresses instead of big ugly snow boots.

Winter, It’s been fun, but you can go now!!!
What Joyful things do you want to do when Winter is long gone???

#FlashbackFriday: Packing for Joyful Travels

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Happy Friday Joy Chasers!!!

I hope you had a good week.  There were ups and downs for me this week but overall it was pretty good.

I started a new dietbet with Neon Fresh after having good results with my first one (lost 11.5 lbs).  I felt like I got off to a rough start but finally I think I’m getting into the flow and the scale moved a little.

Early in the week I learned about Environmental Wellness.  I did not even know what that was until I read Cherise’s guest post.  I am really excited to read about how Chasing Joy Ambassador Cherise is Chasing Joy.  If you are interested in contributing regularly to Chasing Joy apply here-> 

http://www.chasing-joy.com/p/off-blog.html.  But hurry, I will be choosing another Ambassador in October.

Later in the week I wrote about the things I wish I would have known when I was shopping for my first home.   I came up with 4 tips to have Joy in homeownership.

Things have been a little stressful at the day job.  I am glad the weekend is upon us. Apparently so is Hurty.  Here he is expressing his Joy after a meal.

So How was your week? Maybe you wrote a post about it.  Why not link it up for #FlashbackFriday.  #FlashbackFriday is a linky for your favorite oldie but goody posts.

My favorite posts from last week’s #FlashbackFriday linky are:

How to Save for Retirement When You Don’t Make a Lot of Money offers a tax time tip that can put money in your pocket. 

 Scenes From A Single Mom gives us a review of 3 books with a common them in their titles..

My Flashback this week is Packing for Joyful Travels.  This post list all the important things necessary for Joyful Travels. Things that we often forget to pack .

Join the fun and add your link below.  Share your post on the Chasing Joy Facebook Page and use the hashtag #FlashbackFriday on Twitter and Instagram to promote your Flashback posts. All are welcome to join the fun!!!  The only rule is to visit AT LEAST TWO other flashback posts from the linky.

What post did you link up?

P.S. Invite your friends to join the linky.

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