Search Results for: Happiness

4 Ways to Avoid Coming Down With A Case Of The Mondays

June 10, 2013 |

Happy Monday! I hope you had a good weekend.

I am currently reading The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor. It was the June selection for my book club. We met and talked about it last week. I’ll be talking about my takeaways from the book on Girlfriendology so stay tuned for that. During our book club conversation the topic of Mondays came up.

Mondays are probably the least liked day of the week. For most of us it signals the end of fun and leisure of the weekend and back to the routine of work and school. So how do we stay happy and Joyful and avoid coming down with a case of the Mondays? Here are a few tips:

Don’t think about Monday on Sunday. Many of us start thinking about all that Monday has in store for us before Monday is even here. We completely lose part of Sunday because we have already started filling with dread and anxiety dreading the start of the week. Thinking about it ahead of time does not change the circumstance that indeed, Monday follows Sunday every single week. All you are doing is losing part of your enjoyment. Make every effort to stay in the moment on Sunday. While there may be certain things you have to do on Sunday (laundry, food prep, etc.) to prepare for the next week try to complete those tasks without thinking much about what the next day will be like or what you are worried about occurring in the week ahead.
Find something positive about Mondays. Not thinking about Monday is easier said than done. When you do find yourself doing it and feel your Joy fleeing your body try to turn the thought around. Look at the bright side and think of at least 1 think good about Monday. It could be something specific about that particular Monday or it could be something that applies to every Monday. For me most of my team is off on Monday including my supervisor. So when negative thoughts about Monday find their way into my consciousness my next thought is usually, at least it will be quiet and she won’t be there. Try to find at least one thing that brings about positive feelings related to Monday.
Make Monday Funday. OK that may be a bit far fetched but you can create ways to make Monday feel a little more fun. For a long time I would always wear my nicest outfits on Mondays. This would help me to feel pretty. Often when scheduling lunch dates with friends/co-workers I’ll intentionally schedule them for Mondays. The lunches would give me something positive to look forward to about Monday.
Give Monday a new meaning. For a long time now on the Chasing Joy Facebook Page and Twitter we have repurposed Monday as a day to set goals. We call it Make it Happen Monday (#MakeItHappenMonday on Twitter and Instagram). Instead of thinking about how much Monday is shocking, how I wish I did not have to get up early, and how it would be so much more fun if it were still the weekend, I spend Monday thinking about what I want to accomplish during the week. I also feel very inspired when I read what everyone else posts for their goals for the week.

I hope that one or more of the above helps your Monday be a little more Joyful. What helps you get through the day and avoid coming down with a case of the Mondays?

Life Lesson III: Trust Your Gut for a More Joyful Life

June 5, 2013 |

There can be many things standing in the way of your happiness and preventing you from having the joyful life you want. This past week I was reminded of one that has been in my way for a long time.

Years ago I considered myself an excellent judge of character. In college I spent time with a few friends. Occasionally a new person would enter our group. Every now and then I’d have a reaction to the new person. I would have this gut feeling that something was not right with the person. Based on this feeling I’d be nice to the person but I’d also keep my distance. Without fail, at some point in the months that followed the new person would do something weird, disloyal, or mean spirited. I would feel bad about whatever happened but I would also feel glad that I had trusted my gut and kept my distance.

Then it happened. I got involved with a guy who completely pulled the wool over my eyes. He was a superb manipulator and lead me to believe he was someone he wasn’t. I spent years with him before I found out who he really was; a liar, cheater, deadbeat dad, and con artist. That breakup was really rough on me. I have since recovered and had other relationships since then. However, one side effect has lingered and it is negatively impacting my joyful life.

I lost confidence in my ability to trust my gut. Time and time again I have asked myself how did he get pass me? How come I did not get that feeling I usually get when someone up to no good comes into my life? Why didn’t I catch him in any of his lies? Where was my women’s intuition, and did it even exist 🙁

Logically I know the answer is because he was a con-artist and not just the average person being fake or disingenuous. But since then I have ignored my gut instincts and 2nd guessed my decisions. This past week I had an experience where I ignored my gut instinct and have since realized it’s time to stop.

I had the opportunity to get involved in something that I was not all that gung-ho about. It was supposed to be a good thing but I just had a feeling that it was not for me. My gut instinct was to say no. However other people I knew were getting involved and I began to second guess my initial no. So I changed my mind and got involved. Well, my experience was not good. The details of my experience are not all that important and what happened was not a big deal. However, it did leave me feeling upset. A little bit upset about what happened, but most of all I feel upset with myself for ignoring my gut instinct..

I remember what it was like when I used to trust myself. I remember saying to friends “I don’t know what it is but I just have a bad feeling” and being 100% OK with that explanation. Guess what? I am still that same person. My gut instinct still works. My “women’s intuition” is still there. I just need to stop ignoring it and to trust myself, trust my ability to read people and situations. I am giving myself permission to trust in my own senses again and to react based on what I feel.

Lack of self trust and ignoring my instincts will no longer be my Joy Thief. Do you ever experience self doubt or ignore your instincts? Is not trusting your gut instincts one of your Joy Thieves?

Let’s Chase Joy Together. August #CJBL Giveaway

May 27, 2013 |

Last month I posted about how blogging makes you brave. I talked about the different things I’d done since starting my blog that I’d have never even thought of before. Things like traveling out of state alone for blog conferences, asking for help with a charity event, and most significantly having my own series of events which I call the Chasing Joy Brunch & Learn.

The purpose of the Chasing Joy Brunch & Learn is to connect in real life with other positive, Joy minded people, people who read this blog, other bloggers, and social media enthusiasts and be inspired by motivators like Janeane Davis and Erika McDaniel (Check out their Bios) . The first #CJBL back in April was a huge success. I am still pleasantly surprised and thrilled at the positive response from the attendees. Prior to the event I was supper stressed about it. I had so many fears. I worried that no one would show up. I was afraid I’d be late or in some other way appear unprofessional. I was anxious over how the speakers would perform. I was completely freaked out over how to fill the time that one of my speakers would have used for her presentation after learning she’d been in accident. I felt like quitting so many times along the way as I prepared for the big day. I asked myself countless times why did I sign myself up for this. But I was brave and went through with it.

My bravery was rewarded. All of my prayers, hard work, and the support of my friends and family came together to produce an awesome event. Everyone left with a smile and the number one question I heard in the days that followed was “When is the next one!!!”

The next Chasing Joy Brunch & Learn will be Saturday August 3rd. Our speakers are Janeane Davis and Erika McDaniel. I am super excited to hear these ladies speak. Janeane was scheduled to speak at the April #CJBL but was in an accident only days before. She will be inspiring us to take control and define success for ourselves. Erika will bring her fashionista talent and professional stylist skills to teach us how to look as joyful and successful as Janeane will inspire us to be. I am also super excited for Maggiano’s buffet. If you have been there before you know the food is so yummy. The #CJBL Brunch buffet will not disappoint. In addition to the speakers and food we will have networking and the opportunity to make new friends, in real life!!! If you are in the Philadelphia Area I hope you will come. Let’s Chase Joy together in real life.Super Early Bird Registration is already open. Get your tickets now for only $35.

Having my own events requires all of the bravery that I can muster. But this blog has given me a new passion and purpose to make happiness and joy a priority and to encourage other to do the same. It is very fulfilling to face fears and be brave in pursuit of your own goals. Not many things provide a better feeling then a positive out come as reward for your bravery when it is all said and done.

When was the last time you were really brave? What were your fears? What was the outcome and was it worth it.

Because I want to see as many of you as possible at the Chasing Joy Brunch & Learn in August I am giving away two tickets. Use the Raffelcopter form below to enter. If you do not want to leave it up to chance get your tickets today by registering on the Chasing Joy Event’s Page.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

PS: Join in for the #ChasingJoy twitter chat on Sunday June 9th at 4pm where we will be talking about being brave. The Hashtag is #ChasingJoy

Weekend Guest: I Am…

May 25, 2013 |

This weekend we have a treat. We have a bonus! We have a Weekend Guest!!! I enjoy giving you someone else’s words to read, someone else’s perspective and path toward Joy. I’m sure you will enjoy this Weekend Guest Post written by Palanda from The Fabulous Dating Misadventures of Poppy J.

“I
Am…”

Palanda
Annese Brownlow

“I am Love. I am
Peace. I am Joy….I am Love. I am Peace. I am Joy,” I whispered to myself as I
whipped my car into the left turning lane.

The sun beamed down
through my window shield, signaling the makings of a beautiful, glorious day. I
was happy. Which was ridiculously surprising considering the fact that I’d just
been laid off. It had come as a bit of a shock, especially considering the manner
in which the news was delivered.

“Hey, have you talked
to Jeff yet?” he’d asked before I’d even had time to sit down in my office. He being my super-nosy co-worker.

“Well, considering
the fact that I just got here,” I
wanted to reply but didn’t. I do have manners, after all.

“Well, just so you
know, they’re letting some people go today,” he said in a solemn whisper.

“Okayyyyyyy. Is that
what Jeff told you?”

“Well,” and this is
where he got real serious, “I’m staying,
and Noelle’s staying. The rumor is, you’re leaving.”

And there it was. The
news of my imminent lay-off delivered in the most insensitive way possible by a
man who wasn’t even my boss.

Later, after it was
confirmed by my boss, I got mad. Really mad. How dare they get rid of me! I got
along great with everyone. My productivity was great. And I dressed my butt off! Heck, I was an absolute joy to work with.

And, yet, I was
leaving. It wasn’t fair. Especially when folks like Mr. Nosy Bottoms were staying.

But, then I reminded
myself that though the packaging was not quite what I wanted, it was still an
opportunity, a blessing in disguise.

Here was my chance to
do all the things I’d been complaining about not having time to do. Here was my chance to write, to get my home
organized, to read, to plan my “Eat, Pray, Love” trip to Italy. Here was my
chance to go to plays, hang out at happy hours across town, go shopping in the
middle of the day, and finally try
hot yoga. Here was my chance to take a much-deserved break and actually enjoy
my life.

And though the
temptation to worry and stress out about money and finding another job was
there, the reality was I’d been surviving in a crappy economy for years. I’d mastered the art of living
well on a meager budget. And I knew how to save in times of prosperity. Though
my job was ending, I wasn’t destitute and broke. After all, I’d been stocking
away money since I’d been hired, planning for the rainy days that always come
without warning.

Besides, stressing
and freaking out had never helped me land a job, meet great people, or write
yet another amazing blog post. You know what had? Sitting back and trusting
that God would take care of me no matter what. Laughing and smiling as if I
hadn’t a care in the world. Dancing the night away with friends at a favorite
lounge. Breaking bread with a good friend at a favorite restaurant. Living life
as if I had every single thing I ever needed and wanted. That’s what had gotten
me through my periods of job and/or financial droughts. And that’s what would
get me through this one.

And in those moments
when I do get overwhelmed and anxious, I don’t hesitate to remind myself who I
really am. Job or no job, I am Love.
I am Peace. I am Joy. And happiness is mine for the taking.

Have you ever been laid off? Were you overwhelmed and anxious? What did you do to maintain Joy during that time?

A Southern girl with her head in the clouds, her heart on her sleeve, and her feet firmly planted in sunny LA. Palanda Brownlow is a woman who’s an expert at taking life’s lemons and turning them into cute, little, citrusy cocktails. A woman courageous enough to abandon a life and a job on the West Coast to take a non-paying (non-paying!) internship on the East Coast all in pursuit of her life-long dream of becoming a writer. And a woman bold enough to share the good, the bad, and the highly embarrassing, awkward, yet entertaining tales of her dating life on a blog for all the world to see. You can find her hilarious dating escapades at “The Fabulous Dating Misadventures of Poppy J”. Keep up with Palanda on twitter at @MizPoppyJ.

If you’d like to be a weekend guest email me your post at joychasing@yahoo.com and find additional information on guest posting qualifications here.

Does Your Smile Bring You Joy? It Can!

May 6, 2013 |

Happiness belongs to everyone. It is not a resource that can be used up. There is enough of it for all of us.

Unfortunately for many of us not being happy about what we see in the mirror can be a huge road block on the way to Joy and happiness. While looks should not matter, we all know that they do. That’s why liking what you see in the mirror is so important. Feeling good about yourself and confident in your appearance is such an important element of having a Joyful life.

Finding Joy in ones appearance is important for all of us but super important for teenagers who are adjusting to changing bodies, hormones, and responsibilities That’s why I’m happy to share with you that Invisalign is now available for teens and preteens. (Disclaimer: This is a sponsored post. However, all thoughts and opinions are my own.) Invisalign aligners are similar to brace except they are clear and basically invisible I have never had braces but a few of my family members and friends have had them. Braces on teens often represent just another thing to feel insecure about. Something else that makes them feel like they are different or stand out. Luckily, now, Invisalign is another choice that is available for today’s teens and preteens.

While I’m sure braces in general have changed and improved since I was a teenager, removable aligners like Invisalign and Invisalign Teen offer some great advantages. One of the main things I remember my friends complaining about regarding their braces were the diet restrictions. They could not eat gum, certain sticky candies or basically anything that could get caught in their teeth. With Invisalign, the aligners are taken out at meal time, removing all food restrictions. Teens can eat whatever their friends are eating and not worry about being different.

People with straight teeth may have more Joy!

One of the first times I remember feeling really grown up and liking what I saw in the mirror was my junior prom. I was smiling in every picture and not giving a second thought about my teeth. I am sure my peers who were wearing braces were not so at ease smiling for the camera. This would be another occasion when Invisalign Teen’s removable aligners would come in handy. Invisalign can make prom and school dance jitters a little less since they can be removed for special occasions.

If you are considering helping your teen feel better about the way they look by improving their smile, or maybe even improving your own smile, with braces, here are a few facts about Invisalign compared to braces that you should consider.

Invisalign uses a series of clear aligners made of lightweight plastic that sit smoothly on the teeth allowing for a more comfortable fit and they work as effectively as traditional metal braces.
Invisalign works the same way as braces. Force is applied to the tooth forcing it to move into the proper position.
While Invisalign is newly available for teens and preteens it has been around since 1999.
If your teen plays sports they are less likely to have a serious injury if hit in the face while wearing Invisalign than braces.
Everyone is different and there are many factors that determine the cost of Invisalign. But, in most cases, Invisalign is comparable in cost to traditional braces. Check out the Cost Calculator.
Most dental insurances plans cover Invisalign.
The Invisalign aligners must be worn 22 hours a day and have an indicator that helps parents to know if their teen is wearing them as indicated.
The aligners can be cleaned with a toothbrush and water.
If you are considering Invisalign for your teen, preteen, or yourself consult with an Invisalign doctor as they are up on the latest technologies that your dentist may not be aware of.

Have you or anyone you know had Invisalign? Would you consider Invisalign for your teen, preteen or yourself so that you can feel more Joyful about your smile and appearance?

Learn more by visiting the Invisalign Homepage

Follow Invisalign on Twitter @Invisalign

Like Invisalign on Facebook

Disclaimer: This is a sponsored post. However, all thoughts and opinions are my own.

No Joy in the Jinx

May 1, 2013 |

This past weekend was really great for me. My event went great on Saturday afternoon. On Saturday night I went to a mini bloggy boot camp with the SITS Girls where I won a mini IPad. On Sunday I meet up with my bloggy friend Your Chic is Showing for her high heels event. I had lot’s of fun and connected with good joy inspiring people this weekend.

The problem came as the weekend was winding down. Since I’m into this whole blogging/ social media thing, of course I wanted to post on Facebook about my fantabulous weekend. I did not want to post in a bragging way. I wanted to post saying how thankful and blessed I felt to have had such a great weekend. The problem was I suddenly felt to anxious to write the post.

Anxiety came over me and I was afraid. I was afraid that somehow by my acknowledging blessings and showing gratitude I’d be welcoming almost encouraging something bad to happen. I imagined my mom getting sick or my dog starting to have seizures immediately after I’d hit post. I know, crazy right?

Expressing appreciation, practicing an attitude of gratitude, and counting blessings are all important components to having a more Joyful life. If you are busy celebrating good fortune and giving thanks it’s kind of hard to be sad or unhappy. But we rob ourselves of this joyful experience when we hold back out of fear that our happiness will somehow trigger bad things to happen or for us to be”jinxed”

The next time you feel the urge to stifle your celebration out of fear of something bad happening please ignor that urge. The reality is both good things and bad things are going to happen when they are gong ti happen. We have little control over that. However you have complete control in how much Joy you allow yourself to experience by acknowledging your blessings. So go ahead and send that text, tweet, or Facebook post sharing your good news.

Have you ever stopped short of sharing good news out of fear that you would jinx it and welcome something negative into your life? Am I the only one?

Blogging Makes You Brave Giveaway!!!

April 3, 2013 |

Yesterday for #TuesdaysTips Sandy posted on the Chasing Joy Facebook page, “You have to be brave with your life, so that others can be brave with theirs.” Sandy had no clue how timely her comment was. With the Chasing Joy Brunch and Learn just around the corner I have been reflecting on this blogger journey that I’ve been on. I have come up with one major conclusion. BLOGGING MAKES YOU BRAVE!!!

When I started this blog over 3 years and 387 posts ago I did not have any clue where it would take me. The sole purpose of this blog was to give me something to do to take my mind off of the grief that I was experiencing and refocus on happiness, gratitude, optimism, and Joyful things. That purpose and more has been fulfilled. I have gone from having way to much idle time to trying to figure out how to get all my blog stuff, social stuff, and work stuff done and still make it to bed at a reasonable hour.

My time has been filled with so many things that I never imagined for myself. While I cant quite say I’ve fully stepped out of my comfort zone I have made said zone significantly bigger.

Because of Blogging I have:

Taken Ballet Classes
Completed a 5 K
Traveled out of state by myself and not for the day job
Did a little public speaking
Had a charity event
Attended Conferences and events where I did not know anyone else
Made New Friends
Designed my own Bookmarks
Entered a beauty contest
and
Been more honest than any other point in my life.

But by far the bravest think I’ve done to date is plan my own networking and inspirational event, the Chasing Joy Brunch & Learn. I am putting myself out there and severely expanding that good old comfort zone. In planning and executing this event I have had and will have to do several things I am not comfortable doing. Sales. Asking for help. Talking to strangers. Accepting unsolicited yet well meaning advice. Being the center of attention. Last but not least, public speaking. I will be brave!

What is the bravest thing you have done lately?

I am proof that blogging makes you brave. You can come see me at my bravest at the Chasing Joy Brunch & Learn. At the Brunch we will be inspired to live more Joyfully by defining success for ourselves and following our passions. Details can be found here. Tickets are on sale now but you can win a pair for yourself by following the Rafflecopter instructions below. Good Luck!!!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

March #ChasingJoy Chat Recap

March 4, 2013 |

Yesterday was the monthly #ChasingJoy twitter chat. Me and several of my friends all have birthdays in March. So our March twitter chat topic was birthdays. The chat was good and the overall consensus was Birthdays are awesome!!! Here is the recap if you missed it. Feel free to answer any of the questions in the comments below.

[View the story “#ChasingJoy Chat Recap” on Storify]

#ChasingJoy Chat Recap

Storified by Chasing Joy· Sun, Mar 03 2013 20:54:10

Welcome to the #ChasingJoy Twitter Chat.Chasing Joy (Arlett)

The purpose of this chat is to get to know each other better and bond over the themes of Optimism, Gratitude, and Happiness. #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

Q 1: Who are you and where are you from? #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

A1. I am Arlett and I am from Philly. #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

@Chasing_Joy A1: I am Sheila and I’m from Detroit #ChasingJoySheila Hawkins

A1. I’m Samantha I’m in Johannesburg, South Africa #ChasingJoySamantha Dube

#ChasingJoy RT @MommyTalkShow @Chasing_Joy Q1: I’m Joyce and I’m from Long Island, NY.Chasing Joy (Arlett)

A1: New Yorker turned Southern Bell! I’m in North Carolina! #ChasingJoyJen Lawrence

Q2: How happy are you at this time in your life? #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

A2. It has been a stressful few months for me but overall I am pretty happy. #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

@Chasing_Joy Getting better. Had a few disappointments this week. But looking forward to turning 40 this summer. #ChasingJoyJoyce Brewer

A2: Happy to be starting a new chapter #ChasingJoySheila Hawkins

@Chasing_Joy A2: I’m very happy with my life though with a few changes I could only get happier #ChasingJoySamantha Dube

A2: I’m going through a transitional period right now, I’m happy for the most part but it’s a little scary. #ChasingJoyJen Lawrence

@Chasing_Joy A2. Pretty happy. It is always room for improvements but God is good. #chasingjoyevie730

A2. I’m feeling content. Not happy, not sad just extremely satisfied! #ChasingJoymrsrkfj

Q3: March is the month of my birthday and several of my friends. Do you celebrate your birthday? #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

@Chasing_Joy Always celebrate my B’Day #ChasingJoySheila Hawkins

@Chasing_Joy Yes I celebrate my birthday, would love to do something big though. #ChasingJoySamantha Dube

A3. I always celebrate my birthday. Some years bigger than others. #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

@Chasing_Joy Q3 – Yes, I’m planning a solo vacation for my 40th birthday in August #ChasingJoyJoyce Brewer

I find people who do solo vacations so brave @MommyTalkShow #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

A3: I celebrate the entire month of October (JENtober) annually! My birthday month rocks every year! 😉 #ChasingJoyJen Lawrence

#ChasingJoy MT @BeeSince83 A3: always & forever! I love my bday. When I was young I plotted… to make my bday be a nat’l holiday. Lol!Chasing Joy (Arlett)

Q4: Do you think birthdays are overrated and just another day? #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

@Chasing_Joy A4: No. B’Days are a time to celebrate and give thanks. I don’t think they’re over rated #ChasingJoySheila Hawkins

A4. I don’t think they are overrated. I think they are special and the only day just about you. #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

@Chasing_Joy Q4: No, they’re special and to be celebrated a lot. I used to have a party every year. Not so much since motherhood #ChasingJoyJoyce Brewer

RT @ThirdEyeGrp: @Chasing_Joy A4: No. BDays are a time to celebrate and give thanks. I dont think theyre over rated #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

yes to give thanks for another year. Every year is a blessing. @ThirdEyeGrp #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

A4: I don’t think birthdays are overrated! Why not celebrate our life? #ChasingJoyJen Lawrence

@Chasing_Joy A4. No I think birthdays are really a time to reflect and celebrate that you’ve made it to see another year. #ChasingJoySamantha Dube

yes Reflection!!! Reflect on the past year and the year to come @EbonyDelights #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

Q5: Do you have any special birthday traditions in your family? #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

@Chasing_Joy Q5: You get your favorite meal for your birthday in our family. My son gets chicken and french fries this year #ChasingJoyJoyce Brewer

That is an awesome tradition @MommyTalkShow 🙂 Birthday Dinner #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

@Chasing_Joy A5: No special B’Day traditions in my family. #ChasingJoySheila Hawkins

@Chasing_Joy A5..does carvel cakes count? LOL #chasingjoyevie730

A5. We don’t have any birthday traditions in my family. It may be one to start though. #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

A5: I love parties, so everyone gets a special birthday event planned big or small. Different themes, venues, food etc. #ChasingJoyJen Lawrence

@Chasing_Joy A5: Yes, your golden birthday, 5th, 10th, 16th, 21st, 25th, 30th, 35th etc… #ChasingJoyKeystrokesByKimberly

@Chasing_Joy Q5: Mostly getting cake and going out to dinner #ChasingJoySamantha Dube

Yup! RT @evie730: @Chasing_Joy A5..does carvel cakes count? LOL #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

Q6: How do you make birthdays special for your loved ones? #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

@Chasing_Joy well, I try to do what I feel they will enjoy. My mom lovesss flowers so that’s a must on the b day:) #chasingjoyevie730

@Chasing_Joy A6: Usually ask, if I don’t know what they want or want to do then create a special way for it to happen #ChasingJoySheila Hawkins

@Chasing_Joy A6: buys presents and pay for the birthday dinner. #ChasingJoySamantha Dube

A6. I like to take my mom out to dinner and I give gifts to my nieces and nephews and spend special time with them. #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

@Chasing_Joy A6: We celebrate the entire week. Day 1= cupcakes #chasingjoyVal B.

I try to let my kids or husband plan their special day. For me I’m content with a book and a corner at Starbucks. #ChasingJoymrsrkfj

A6: I just see what they want and do it, unless it’s a surprise! #ChasingJoyJen Lawrence

Q7: Have you ever felt sad about an approaching birthday? #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

@Chasing_Joy A7: I actually have not. I guess more reflective than sad. #chasingjoyVal B.

@Chasing_Joy Q7 yes…turning 40. I was like what tha. where did the time go. Then I thought I’m a be 40 & fabulous 🙂 #Chasingjoyevie730

A7: This year’s birthday will be a milestone for me and I’m struggling with it. Lol! *seriously* #ChasingJoyJen Lawrence

@Chasing_Joy A7: No but I once forgot my bday. Only remembered half way through the day. (Was unaware of the date the week) #ChasingJoySamantha Dube

@EbonyDelights @Chasing_Joy wow…that must of been a busy week 🙂 #chasingjoyevie730

@Chasing_Joy A7: Yes, 30 & 40. I refused to acknowledge that in full & now no one knows my true age.Lol #ChasingJoyKeystrokesByKimberly

A7. Only felt sad when I dwell on what i thought I would have accomplished but have not yet accomplished. So I don’t dwell! #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

@Chasing_Joy I did the same thing and it sadden me for a minute, but then I spoke to God about and moved on. #chasingjoyevie730

A7: Never sad about approaching a B’Day. Always look forward to them #ChasingJoySheila Hawkins

A7. As I get further into my 30s & still single & no kids sometimes that stresses me at bday time. Try not to worry though. #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

Q8: Do milestone birthdays (30, 40, 50 etc.) have any more significance? #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

@Chasing_Joy A8: Absolutely! Better as the number goes up. #chasingjoyVal B.

A8, Milestone birthdays are signficant because they casuse us to reflect and plan for the future. #chasingjoyJaneane Davis

@Chasing_Joy A8. Yes. for me it made me reflect more. Made me wanna start checking off that ‘bucket list" LOL #chasingjoyevie730

@Chasing_Joy A8: yes, mostly because everyone else makes them more significant. #ChasingJoySamantha Dube

@Chasing_Joy Q8: Yes, for my 30th I went to #Europe by myself #ChasingJoyJoyce Brewer

A8. Milestone birthdays make me feel I’m on the verge of something GREAT! #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

Q9: What is your fondest birthday memory? #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

@Chasing_Joy A9: I always have an amazing time when celebrate my bday. Can’t mention 1 specific moment #ChasingJoySamantha Dube

2011 Andre surprised me with a spa weekend at a place that had a limo and a 5 star restaurant. @Chasing_Joy #chasingjoyChaton Turner

@Chasing_Joy A9 that would have to be my 23rd bday. Hubs (who was bf at the time) took me to empire state bldg 4 a surprise. #chasingjoyevie730

A9. One of my fondest was the 21st bday party my dad threw for me. It was my last milestone bday I got to celebrate with him. #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

A9: I have tried to answer this question 2x’s but, both times I sounded like an alcoholic! So, I’m going to leave it alone. O_o #ChasingJoyJen Lawrence

Q10: Do you have a Facebook page, blog, or other link that you’d like to share? #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

@Chasing_Joy Moms & future moms LIKE http://facebook.com/MommyTalkShow #ChasingJoyJoyce Brewer

@Chasing_Joy A 10 http://www.facebook.com/ThirdEyeGroup #ChasingJoySheila Hawkins

A10: http://www.jaelcustomdesigns.com #ChasingJoyJen Lawrence

A10. My blog is http://www.chasing-joy.com #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

A. 10 you can find me on FB at https://www.facebook.com/JoyChasing #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

A10. If you are in Philly area I’d love to see you in IRL at my Brunch & Learn #CJBL. http://www.chasing-joy.com/p/events.html #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

That is the end of the questions but feel free to continue chatting and getting to know each other using the hashtag Joy Chasers #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

Don’t forget to follow all of your new friends from the #ChasingJoy twitter party.Chasing Joy (Arlett)

Awesome Chat! Thanks @ThirdEyeGrp @evie730 @mrsrkfj @MommyTalkShow @JaelDesignsInc @EbonyDelights @Chatonsworld @KaiConGroup #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

Awesome Chat! Thanks @janeanedavis @KeystrokesByKim #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

#ChasingJoy Chats are every month on the 1st Sunday at 4pm EST. bring your friends :-)Chasing Joy (Arlett)

The next #ChasingJoy chat will be on Sunday April 7th. At 4:00pm ESTChasing Joy (Arlett)

What are you thoughts on birthdays? Overrated? How do you make them special? What is your fondest birthday memory?

Joy Everyday!

February 27, 2013 |

When I move life will be so much better. I will have so much more fun.
When I get a car everything will be much less stressful. It will be great.
When I lose this weight I will have so much fun.
When I get married I will never be lonely.
When I have kids I will have an excuse to do fun kiddy things again.

I am guilty of having had all of the above thoughts. When I write them out I realize how silly and unrealistic they sound. I am the girl who is always planning for the next big thing, the next goal, the next milestone. I have found much happiness in having accomplished goals. Not happiness while working toward the goal, but delayed gratification and then happiness at the time of dream fulfillment. This way of thinking leads to lots of waiting for x, y, and z to happen before happiness can be experienced. Lot’s of “just get through this” and one day you’ll have fun, be less stress, not be lonely, and be a kid at heart, type of thinking.

There is nothing wrong with a little delayed gratification. It is good for our waist line, wallet, and self-control. But a life time of it is just sad. I don’t want this sad kind of life any more. I want to experience the Joy of accomplishing goals but also enjoy every day in between. I want to delay gratification only within reason and not as a way of life as though happiness is only deserved when specific milestones are reached.

I want a better life now.
I want less stress now.
I want to have fun now.
I want to ward of loneliness now.
I want to unleash my inner kid now.

Have you ever disallowed yourself to be happy until certain milestones or accomplishments were met? Are you ready to let yourself experience Joy just because it is Joyful to be alive and working toward those goals and milestones?

February #ChasingJoy Chat Recap

February 13, 2013 |

As a successful blogger (yes I consider myself successful, 🙂 I feel I should be active on twitter. Facebook is my social media medium of choice. I find it to be much easier to talk to people and I get more interaction. I don’t dislike twitter but I find that my twitter feed often looks like a listing of links, no real conversations. In an effort to have more fun and more of a conversation on twitter I started hosting the monthly #ChasingJoy twitter chat. It is a lot of fun and helps me get to know my twitter friends a bit better.

The chat is always the 1st Sunday of the month at 4pm EST. The February Chat was postponed because of the Superbowl and took place this past Sunday. Don’t feel bad if you missed it because here is the recap. Make sure you join in the conversation next month on Sunday March 3rd.

Feel free to answer any of the questions from the chat in the comments below. Let’s keep the conversation going.

[View the story “Feb #ChasingJoy Recap topic #Love” on Storify]

Feb #ChasingJoy Recap topic #Love

Storified by Chasing Joy· Mon, Feb 11 2013 20:38:51

Welcome to the #ChasingJoy Twitter Chat.Chasing Joy (Arlett)

The purpose of this chat is to get to know each other better and bond over the themes of Optimism, Gratitude, and Happiness.#ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

I started the chat so that I could actually have conversations with people on twitter and not just exchange links. #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

With Valentine’s Day being this week I thought it was fitting to chat about #love #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

Q 1: Who are you and where are you from? #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

Q2: How happy are you at this time in your life? #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

A2. I am pretty happy. Happy with how work and blog stuff is going. Had some personal stress but that wil pass. #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

I’m so loving my 40s. Very happy @Chasing_Joy. #ChasingJoyTina C. Hines

Cool so it just keeps getting better 🙂 RT @4MySisterFriend: Im so loving my 40s. Very happy @Chasing_Joy. #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

Most definitely. I feel so much better than when I was in my 20s and 30s. Perhaps it’s because I change my outlook on life. #ChasingJoyTina C. Hines

Q2: Not as happy as I could be. I am in the process of refocusing. #chasingjoyUneeka Jay

Q3: What feelings come to mind when you think of Valentine’s Day? #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

A3. I think of the first time I told my husband I loved him. Many years ago. #chasingjoyJaneane Davis

sweet 🙂 RT @janeanedavis: A3. I think of the first time I told my husband I loved him. Many years ago. #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

@Chasing_Joy Never liked it a lot since my b’day is day after – always stressful #ChasingJoyLisa

Yes the day can bring stress. too many expectations @Lisapatb #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

Lovin me more "@Chasing_Joy: Q3: What feelings come to mind when you think of Valentine’s Day? #ChasingJoy"Tina C. Hines

A3 I like Valentines Day I like looking for little things to buy/make for family and friends to say how glad youre in my life #chasingjoyMJ Scott

A3: Don’t shoot me. I am not a big fan of Valentines Day. I like to feel special. Surprise me at random, not a holiday. #chasingjoyUneeka Jay

@powermommy I like that too, surprise me for me, not the holiday. #chasingjoyJaneane Davis

I’m greedy @powermommy I want it all. I like to feel special on random days and on the holiday too. LOL #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

A3. I like idea of a day about sharing love. But I feel annoyed that focus is on romantic love. Which leaves single peeps out #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

It leaves singles out if they choose to be left out. Self love is important "@Chasing_Joy: A3. Which leaves single peeps out #ChasingJoy"Tina C. Hines

I like that @4MySisterFriend Love yourself for Valentines day. #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

Q4: Do you have special plans for Valentine’s Day? #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

A4. No, we don’t celebrate Valentine’s day. #chasingjoyJaneane Davis

A4: Nope. #chasingjoyUneeka Jay

A4 Nope I hate going out I like a low key family day. Maybe a fancier than normal dinner and give the kiddos gifts. #chasingjoyMJ Scott

what do you give the kiddies @SweetMJ #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

@Chasing_Joy This year those plastic cups with straws with some candy inside and for her hair bows for him itunes gift card #chasingjoyMJ Scott

I did not grow up with parents giving kids gift for valentines day. It sounds like a nice idea I may copy one day. #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

@SweetMJ That’s how mine are, low key and kiddos gifts still have to get 🙂 #chasingjoyLisa

Q5: Do you /have you ever treated yourself to a Valentine’s treat? #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

A5. I treat myself to decadent chocolate treats #chasingjoyJaneane Davis

Q5: I try and treat myself often. I think I have to love me first to show love. So I am sure I have. #chasingjoyUneeka Jay

A5. Sometimes I do treat myself to a Valentines gift. I may get myself some perfume #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

A5 I use to when I was single. At about 5PM on valentines is the best time to buy nice jewelry. always uber cheap. #chasingjoyMJ Scott

A5: The red dress I just bought for Valentine’s Day is my treat to myself. I love to shop! #Fashion #ChasingJoyJen Lawrence

I treat myself often #spoiled. Q5: Do you /have you ever treated yourself to a Valentine’s treat? #ChasingJoy"Tina C. Hines

Q6: What is your favorite way to show love on any regular day? #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

Q6: I love sending hand written cards. I am also known to steal hugs and kisses from unsuspecting people! #chasingjoyUneeka Jay

taking time to meditate. Brings the calm before my day begins. Q6: What is your favorite way to show love on any regular day? #ChasingJoy"Tina C. Hines

@Chasing_Joy I give little things all the time St.Patricks Day, labor Day…I just need to find one for Arbor day #chasingjoyMJ Scott

A6 I like to do little things, notes, gifts of favorite candy. #chasingjoyMJ Scott

A6: I value time, if you get some of mine… You are important! Lol! *seriously though* #QualityTime #ChasingJoyJen Lawrence

A6. I give hugs, smiles, letters, texts and just say the words for no reason. #chasingjoyJaneane Davis

A6. I like to show love by making people laugh. Most people don’t know how silly I can be. #Gettoknowme #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

Q7: Do you ever struggle with showing love to those you may not like very much? #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

A7. No, but that is because my life is set up so I don’t have to be around those I don’t care for. #chasingjoyJaneane Davis

A7 No I dont have people in my life I dont like…to much stress. #chasingjoyMJ Scott

I agree @SweetMJ but i find some unavoidable because of family or mutual friendships that are important. #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

A7: Uhh yes. Of course I do. But I push through. Everyone deserves love and it is not something you have to earn. #chasingjoyUneeka Jay

I like that @powermommy Love does not need to be earned. #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

A7: I’m a Libra, I show love regardless just don’t take advantage of me. I’ll write you off & I hold grudges. *working on that* #ChasingJoyJen Lawrence

A7. is a struggle. I focus on treating them how I want to be treated & not necessarily how I feel they deserve to be treated. #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

RT @Chasing_Joy: I am working on not holding grudges. @JaelDesignsInc I forgive but never forget. #ChasingJoyJen Lawrence

@Chasing_Joy @JaelDesignsInc I dont hold a grudges but I am sometimes quick to cut you out of my life and move on. #chasingjoyMJ Scott

Sometimes I hold on to people I shouldn’t @SweetMJ #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

Q8: Are you able to love yourself, faults and all, as much as you love others? #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

A8: That is a deep question. I am working on that. It is a daily choice. #chasingjoyUneeka Jay

Deciding every day to be kind to me. RT @powermommy: A8: That is a deep question. I am working on that. It is a daily choice. #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

A8 it took my years to get to a place where I realized I am awesome and deserve as much of my efforts as others in my life #chasingjoyMJ Scott

I confirm your Awesomness @SweetMJ #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

A8. YES! I believe I have to love me, all of me so I can teach my children to love and value themselves. #chasingjoyJaneane Davis

The best lesson to teach by example is how to love yourself @janeanedavis #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

A8: Definitely not, I’m working on that right now. #chasingjoyJen Lawrence

Keep working on it @JaelDesignsInc and believe people when they tell you how great you are. Take in all compliments. #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

@Chasing_Joy @JaelDesignsInc When you discount what people say you are saying you dont matter. #chasingjoyMJ Scott

@Chasing_Joy Q8 not usually – why is it, not sure #chasingjoyLisa

A8 I find it easier to forgive others than myself. I hold myself to a higher standard. Not sure this is a good thing though. #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

Q9: What is one thing you can do or stop doing to show yourself some love? #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

A9. I can dress up even though I work from home and look cute for myself. #chasingjoyJaneane Davis

Do that! I feel better if I look good RT @janeanedavis: A9. I can dress up even though I work from home and look cute for myself #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

@Chasing_Joy Take Care of myself #ChasingJoyP@mmy P@m

A9 I am to hard on myself to achieve perfection. I am working on it and I am more inclined then ever to say good enough #chasingjoyMJ Scott

A9: Take more time for me, I always get lost in the sauce. #chasingjoyJen Lawrence

A9. I work on stopping negative self talk. I can work more on pampering me & eating better so I can feel my best physically. #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

Q10: Do you have a Facebook page, blog, or other link that you’d like to share? #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

A10 my blog http://agirlnamedmichael-mj.blogspot.com #chasingjoyMJ Scott

A10. I blog at Janeane’s World http://www.janeanesworld.com #chasingjoyJaneane Davis

A 10: Blog – http://www.jaelcustomdesigns.com #chasingjoyJen Lawrence

@Chasing_Joy I’ll share my pin to win from our retail store http://www.fancylingeriestore.com/blog/post/3526292#.URgYAqXC12J Ends at midnight. Win $50 Lingerie #chasingJoyLisa

A10: my blog is http://www.chasing-joy.com and you can find me on FB at https://www.facebook.com/JoyChasing #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

A10: Also visit http://www.chasing-joy.com/p/events.html to find out about the upcoming Chasing Joy Brunch & Learn #CJBL #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

A10: http://Blog.miahall.net (#swish:) #chasingjoyMia Hall

Learned recently about taking compliments etc. @Chasing_Joy Read: I’m Getting A Makeover… http://www.jaelcustomdesigns.com/2013/02/im-getting-a-makeover.html #ChasingJoyJen Lawrence

That is the end of the questions but feel free to continue chatting and getting to know each other using the hashtag #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

OMG!!!! Its been an hour already!! #chasingjoyMJ Scott

yup time flies when your having fun. I love this chat RT @SweetMJ: OMG!!!! Its been an hour already!! #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

Thanks for chatting everyone. I love actually talking on twitter 🙂 #ChasingJoyChasing Joy (Arlett)

@Chasing_Joy it is a fun thing to do. #chasingjoyJaneane Davis

#ChasingJoy Chats are every month on the 1st Sunday at 4pm EST. bring your friends :-)Chasing Joy (Arlett)

The next #ChasingJoy chat will be on Sunday March 3rd. At 4:00pm ESTChasing Joy (Arlett)

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