It’s been exactly 4 weeks since mom died. So, it is time I start writing again. But how??? People have been encouraging me to keep Chasing Joy but it is so hard right now. This thing called grief is no joke. For the punch it packs it should be a much longer word I’m talking like 10 letters instead of just 5. I mean it sneaks up on you. One moment I am just fine. The next moment in tears. Even things a simple as getting out of the bed or buying groceries take so much effort. Ugh, it is really awful and I feel like how can I write to encourage people to be happy when I am so far from it??
But, I have too. I know from past experience that in time I will feel better. I started writing after my dad died. Eventually by focusing on Joy along with the support of my family, friends, and some therapy I did start to feel joyful. The difference now vs. then is that I had my mom to help me through it. I don’t have my mom this time to help me. But as awesome as she is (she’ll never be past tense to me) she left me some instructions. She wrote me a letter. In it she says talks about how committed I am to happiness and tells me to not grieve to long and to focus on the future and not look back. So that’s what I’ve got t0 do. So, it is time I start writing again.
Yesterday was my first day back in the office. I tried to stick to some of my normal routine so I read Our Daily Bread. It talked about how during our darkest times we can be helped by helping others. So, it is time I start writing again. I am not the first person to lose their dad and their mom. I won’t be the last. Unfortunately, it is something most of us will experience. Writing about my experiences with grief, my pain may help someone else know that their grief and pain is normal. I could help someone to know that despite the pain and grief it is ok to laugh, enjoy friend’s company and to smile without guilt. I could help someone understand that after heartbreaking loss they owe it to themselves and to their loved one who has passed on to keep Chasing Joy. So, it is time I start writing again.