Let me start by saying that I think church is a great place and in general I think people should go. That being said it took my years to get back to going to church and to find one where I feel comfortable. I’ve now been going to Epic church pretty regularly for over a year and a half now. But yesterday I chose to skip church. If you follow me on Instagram or Facebook than you probably think that I missed church by accident. You saw this picture of my the night before at the #SilentPhilly party (that was fun by the way) and then this before and after picture talking about how being super tired impacted my workout. It was no accident and I didn’t skip because I was tired. I chose to skip church because yesterday was Father’s Day.
Last year I wrote about how it was the first Father’s Day since I lost my dad where I was not consumed with grief. That is still true this year. Overall it was a good day and I was not sad. However, I know myself, and while the day is no longer as awful as it once was it is still a sensitive day. It is a day where I’d rather not be in a room, any room, including church, filled with dad’s being honored. As a matter of fact I avoided Facebook a little too. It can be painful to spend a specific amount of time reflecting on the huge whole left in my life by my dad’s absence. So I’d rather not do that, especially not on Father’s day, a day that was fun for him and me when we shared it together.
So I skipped church as a way to protect my heart and my emotions. I skipped church so that I could have a joyful day instead of one shadowed by a cloud of grief. I chose to skip church as an act of self love and self care. Now I did not completely ignore the day. I did look for and post a picture of my dad on Facebook that I’d not previously shared. I also sent Happy Father’s Day text to a couple of friends who are also dad’s. So don’t mistake my skipping church as a way for me to be in denial about the holiday. I simply need to do what was best for me to stay joyful and not go to a dark place.
P. S the services are recorded so I will be checking out the message later this week.
So what do you think? Was I wrong for skipping church? Have you ever intentionally skipped church? Have you ever skipped on Father’s or Mother’s Day?