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The Joy of Women Getting Social, My SITS Day

January 16, 2013 |

Me at Bloggy Boot Camp Philly 2012

Yay! Yay! Today is my day, My SITS Day!!!

A lot of you bloggers will no what that means. For those of you who don’t know, MY SITS Day means I am being featured on The SITS Girls site , Where Women Get Social. The SITS Girls is a community of over 40,000 women bloggers networking and becoming better bloggers together. The SITS girls share connections to brands, tremendous amounts of knowledge, and bring bloggers together in person for Bloggy Boot Camp.

So now you understand why I am so hype!!! It’s my day!

If this is your very first time at Chasing Joy, welcome. Let me tell you a little about myself. I am single girl in her early thirties (I think I can claim early thirties for at least another year). I am not yet a mom but hope to be one, one day. I work full time and blog as much as I can (whenever I’m awake and not at the day job).

I started blogging about 3 years ago after my dad passed away. I was having a hard time emotionally and wanted to find my way back to being my normal happy self. Around this same time two of my friends started the blogs Belly Aches & Belly Laughs and Big Diva Headquarters. After reading there blogs I though I can do that. I have always liked to write but could never find the right topic to stick with. I figured the short essay format of blogging would be perfect. All signs pointed to go when I thought to myself, maybe if I write about happiness I might find my way back to being happy. Thus I started Chasing Joy, and it worked!

On Chasing Joy I write about my life and my pursuit of happiness. This includes the ups and downs of dating, having better friendships, setting goals, and trying new things. On the Chasing Joy Facebook Page and on twitter we set goals on Make it Happen Monday, Encourage each other on Way to Go Wednesday, and we practice and attitude of gratitude on Thankful Thursdays. So make sure you “like” me on Facebook and follow me @Chasing_Joy on twitter so you can join in the fun. Every Friday on Chasing Joy we revisit our older blog posts on the #FlashbackFriday Link up! I also make an effort to connect with you readers in person by attending conferences, hosting charity events, and bringing Joy minded people together for Lunch & Learns.

I really appreciate you stopping by on My Day! I’m supper psyched about getting to know all of my new bloggy friends from SITS. I hope you will visit often. Here are a few of my most popular posts:

Any Questions: How do I get more FB “likes”?
Mental Health Monday: My Confession
What a Blog Conference Can Teach You: The Joy of Bloggy Boot Camp!!!
Unhappy Holidays: Chasing Joy with Green Eyes
Joyful Accents – Vlog

Let me know which ones you liked the best.

The Joy of Gift Giving

December 26, 2012 |

Our very own Santa. All tuckered out from delivering all those presents.

Well Christmas has come and gone. Like I said, after all that prep it goes so fast. Which is why it is so important to cherish the day and take everything in. This year was NOT the year of the Bad Christmas!!! What’s the year of the Bad Christmas? The year of the Bad Christmas is the Christmas that my dad always eluded too, where there was no money for gift giving and Santa was too busy to visit our home. I’m happy that the year of the Bad Christmas has never come.

This Christmas was pretty simple for me. On Christmas Eve I attended Service and had family over for dinner. On Christmas Day I never changed out of my pajamas and relaxed at home with my mom after exchanging gifts.

Now I know Christmas is not about presents and Santa Clause. Christmas is about the Birth of Jesus our Savior. I get that. I have enjoyed attending church on Christmas eve the last two years specifically for that reason to focus on the spiritual meaning for the holiday. I liked this years message of how God is always with us and makes his presence known right on time. The spiritual aspect is definitely important and acknowledged. However, I love the gift giving part of Christmas. I love getting gifts, but I love giving them even more. I know some people who don’t exchange gifts with there family and it just seems so sad to me.

Gift giving is what made Christmas exciting for me growing up, especially once I was to old to make Santa’s list. Gift giving involved getting into cahoots with my dad to plan my moms gift. Finding out what really awesome thing he had for her and then planning the prank he’d play on her before giving the gift. Gift giving meant going out with my mom to pick out things for my dad who never shopped for himself. It meant wrapping things really pretty and putting them under the tree and knowing the gift recipient had no clue what was inside but know they would love it when they find out. Gift giving meant being thoughtful and finding special things that would make my loved ones smile. I feel so lucky that I grew up in a house where there was thought behind gifts and there was no such thing as a bad gift when the thought behind it was evident.

Opening the presents!!!

All of those feelings have remained with me and gift giving is an important part of the day for me. This year one of my highlights was being able to see my nieces and nephews open their gifts from me. I’ve always given them gifts but I’ve usually had to mail them or give them early before Christmas, so I never got to see their reactions when opening them. This year I was able to share in their excitement as they opened their gift bags. Another highlight is giving my mom her gifts. I got her her usual favorite gift, perfume. But I also continued my dad’s tradition of playing a little prank. My mom asked me to get her a new mattress for Christmas. So I searched for a miniature mattress to wrap and give her for Christmas representing the mattress I’ll be buying in the next couple weeks. I used an angled baby mattress, the kind the use for colicky babies. She had no clue what was in the gift bag and laughed when she figured it out.

The prank/trick gifts!

My mom gets in on the trickery too. Her not being well meant I was with her in the store when she picked out items for me for Christmas. So I kind of knew what I was getting. But she packaged things cleverly and had me guessing as I opened my presents. She placed my scarf in a cylindrical perfume container. I had no clue what I was opening. But she really had me guessing when I opened this really big box. I had no clue what was in it because, like I said, I was with her when she was shopping. In the big box was a crock-pot. But not just any crock-pot. It was the crock-post she got on Black Friday and told me was for herself. It has been in her apartments for weeks now and I had no clue it was for me. I even asked to use it once and she told me no. LOL now I know why. She really got me.

Even the Cat’s got a gift! They seemed to like it 🙂

I do feel sorry for people who don’t enjoy gift giving as much as I do. It’s not even about the actual gifts. No gifts exchanged in my house were particularly expensive. There were no iPads , Kindles , or Wii U gifts under the tree. Everything was within budgets but everything was thoughtful and appreciated and given with the intent of making the other person smile and creating joyful memories. What’s not to love about that?

What were the highlights of your Christmas? Do you enjoy gift giving? If not, I’d love to hear your perspective as well.

#ChasingJoy December Twitter Chat Recap

December 5, 2012 |

Did you miss the #ChasingJoy twitter chat this past Sunday??? If so your in luck. I’ve used Storify to bring you the highlights of the chat. Enjoy the recap and feel free to keep the conversation going by answering the chat questions in the comments below.

[View the story “#ChasingJoy December Twitter Chat Recap” on Storify]

#ChasingJoy December Twitter Chat Recap

Storified by Chasing Joy · Wed, Dec 05 2012 01:15:18

Hurty wants in on the #ChasingJoy chat http://pic.twitter.com/wHQZfNEPChasing Joy

The purpose of this chat is to get to know each other better and bond over the themes of Optimism, Gratitude, and Happiness.#ChasingJoyChasing Joy

This month’s Chat is a little different because it comes with a giveaway from @LCCindee of Creekside Naturals. #ChasingJoyChasing Joy

Q 1: Who are you and where are you from? #ChasingJoyChasing Joy

Q2: How happy are you at this time in your life? #ChasingJoyChasing Joy

A2. I happy in my life even though there’s a few things I really want in life #ChasingJoySamantha Dube

Q3: What holidays are you celebrating in the next few weeks? #ChasingJoyChasing Joy

Q3 My family will be celebrating Kwanzaa and then my son’s tenth birthday. #ChasingJoyJaneane Davis

#chasingjoy we are celebrating ChristmasCindee Smith

#ChasingJoy I will be celebrating Christmas though I have no real plans yet.Samantha Dube

Q4: What emotions are you feeling this holiday season? #ChasingJoyChasing Joy

Q4 I am feeling rushed, excited and nervous #ChasingJoyJaneane Davis

Gratitude and peace. RT @Chasing_Joy: Q4: What emotions are you feeling this holiday season? #ChasingJoyMichelle

I’m a little melancholy same as every yr at this time RT @Chasing_Joy Q4: What emotions are you feeling this holiday season? #ChasingJoyMel

Q5: How are you managing the stress (gifting, work parties, entertaining) common to this time of year? #ChasingJoyChasing Joy

Q5 I am managing the stress by taking a deep breath, counting to five and chewing sugar free bubble gum #ChasingJoyJaneane Davis

#ChasingJoy I hope everyone can remember why we celebrate the season.Cindee Smith

A5: Delegating and focusing on the why of the holiday season and not so much what everyone will get. #ChasingJoyMichelle

Love it RT @Ms__Positivity: This year I have worked on my stress-free techniques. I refuse to worry about things I cant change! #ChasingJoyMichelle

#ChasingJoy A5. I love parties so no stress there . Gifts r a bit tough wen u don’t have $$. Haven’t had an opportunity to entertain yet.Samantha Dube

Q6 A: What are you most looking forward to this holiday season? #ChasingJoyChasing Joy

Q6 I am looking forward to achieving some professional successes and being able to make my son’s 10th birthday special #ChasingJoyJaneane Davis

A6. I’m looking forward to going to see the nutcracker with my mom and pulling the little prank on her with her gift on Xmas #ChasingJoyChasing Joy

Christmas Dinner … well, dessert 🙂 RT @Chasing_Joy: Q6 A: What are you most looking forward to this holiday season? #ChasingJoyMichelle

Q7: What is your favorite tradition to pass on to your children? #ChasingJoyChasing Joy

A7: Giving back, having a charitable cause and valuing people above everything else. #ChasingJoyCaroll Atkins

A7. When I have kids I hope to pass on my dad’s traditions and create some new ones with them #ChasingJoyChasing Joy

Q8: if you are giving gifts are you shopping #USAmade, #smallbusiness, or doing homemade? #ChasingJoyChasing Joy

Q8 I am doing homemade gifts to go along with the idea of Kwanaa. #ChasingJoyJaneane Davis

#ChasingJoy that is a Biggy to me. I try to buy all my product form USA great pointCindee Smith

Q9: Are you doing anything different this holiday season than previous years? #ChasingJoyChasing Joy

A9: @Chasing_Joy Yes. We are staying home and enjoying each other without extended family. YAY! #chasingjoyuneeka jay

Q10: Do you have a Facebook page, blog, or other link that you’d like to share? #ChasingJoyChasing Joy

#ChasingJoy wow South Africa isn’t it amazing we can all talk togetherCindee Smith

I love that our chat is global, South Africa, USA, and UK. #ChasingJoyChasing Joy

RT @Ms__Positivity: RT @Chasing_Joy: The next #ChasingJoy chat will be Next year on Sunday January 6th. At 4:00pm EST #ChasingJoyChasing Joy

Crying for Joy

December 3, 2012 |

An interesting and kind of annoying thing has happened to me over the last few years. I have become sappy. I find myself fighting back tears all the time. OK maybe not all the time but way more than I used to. I don’t remember crying a lot as a kid. I remember crying a few times as a teen. At high school graduation, when my dad suggested I’d not be able to buy a lottery ticket on my 18th birthday because I did not have ID (talk about overreacting) when my aunt passed a way and over a few boys not being interested in me.

In my early twenties not too many tears were shed. But enter late twenties early thirties and I’m just a weeping wuss. I’ve always been the type to cry if others were crying but now it seems like I cry at books, TV shows, commercials, good stories sad stories, memories, accomplishments and everything else. I’ve cried work, at home, at church and in the car. It’s ridiculous!!!

I’m really good at hiding it though. I don’t think most people have realized how often I cry. If you have just pretend you haven’t there’s no need to talk about. That would likely lead only to more annoying tears. My best stop tears now technique is the quick gulp of water, soda or whatever other beverage is handy. Works like a charm in most cases.

But don’t feel bad, like I said the tears are not always sad even if they are annoying. A happy thought is just as likely to bring on the water works.

Recently I read something that has made me feel much better about my sniffling. For the past few months I have been reading Joyce Meyer’s book Living Beyond Your Feelings that was given to me by a friend on my last birthday. In the section Handling Loss Joyce talks about crying. She talks about how the tears released in response to an emotional trigger contain different hormones then say the tears released when you get something in your eye, peel an onion, or have an allergy attack. The hormones in the crying tears are related to the release of stress. The stress hormones that build up in the body can be released when you cry. So now I don’t feel so bad about the tears. With each drop I am releasing a little stress.

So that makes me wonder is my life more stressed than I was when I was younger??? Maybe a little. But I also think it has more to do with I just don’t have the energy to try and hide my emotions any more. It is just too hard and not worth the trouble. That energy is better spent building honest relationships and Chasing Joy.

Now with that being said I still stand by my no crying at work rule. But, I know that’s not always possible so go for the gulping water technique first then head for the bathroom stall. Shed a few to release the stress then put your game face back on and head out.

So, next time you are trying to fight back tears maybe you should let them flow. We all know stress kept in can be harmful. Maybe the stress released in your tears can be good for your health. Maybe a few tears shed now means grasping Joy sooner than later.

Do you remember the last time you cried? Did you feel better or calmer after?

Any Questions: How do I get more FB “likes”?

November 28, 2012 |

Recently I had a major blogger success moment. The Chasing Joy community on Facebook has been consistently growing. About two weeks ago the Facebook Likes crossed the 500 people milestone. Yay!! It is so exciting! 500 hundred different people are interested in my content.

Of course I shared post of gratitude on both the Chasing Joy and my personal Facebook page. After seeing my post and congratulating me a friend asked, “how’d you do that?” I did not have any top secret tips for him. But I did tell him how I manage the page and what I feel has helped the “likes” grow. Then I realize that this is a great question for the Any Questions Series.

Question: How did I get over 500 likes on the Chasing Joy Facebook Page.

Answer: It did not happen overnight. The Facebook Page is almost 3 years old. Since I started the page I have focused on engagement. The more comments, likes, and shares on Facebook the more visible your page is to others, including those who have not liked your page, via stories. Stories is what Facebook calls it when you see the activities of your friends in your timeline. For example so-and-so liked Chasing Joy’s status.

I focus on engagement by asking questions and encouraging Joy Chasers to post directly on the Chasing Joy wall. I have reoccurring themes throughout the week, Make it Happen Monday, Way to Go Wednesday, Thankful Thursday, and Flashback Friday. This helps Joy Chasers know what and when to share their goals, shout outs, gratitude, and favorite blog posts on the Chasing Joy FB page. To encourage more engagement and conversation I try to reply to every comment on the Facebook Page. I am certain I miss some but not many. (For the record I’m trying to get as good as responding directly on the blog as I am at responding on Facebook)

Post pictures often. Pictures get a really good response on Facebook. They are much more shareable. Also, I am sure to share any other peoples pictures that will be well received by you Joy Chasers.

Quoting my dad “Consistency is the Key“. I post on the Facebook page regularly. I post inspirational quotes, questions, and many random thoughts. There is rarely a day that goes by that Facebook does not hear from me. Now I don’t actually log on every day. I schedule posts ahead of time. I like to use the app Hootsuite. It allows you to schedule posts (or tweets) weeks and even months in advance. I make sure to schedule posts to go out when I am asleep. When I am asleep there is another half of the world that is awake and online.

The most important thing to do to grow your Facebook likes is to develop a relationship with the people who like you. This does not mean you have to learn everything about them. But as you engage with them and respond to their messages you will get to know them and that will give you insight as to what types of things they want to see from you. Also take the time to visit their FB pages if they have them. Engage with them on their pages. A little reciprocity goes a long way. This especially comes in handy when you are approaching a milestone or want to spread the word about a special event. You can say “hay people who love me on Facebook please share this..” or “please invite your friends to like my page.” Just be sure to return the favor.

Having a support system has really helped increase Chasing Joy’s visibility. A great support system will include people who are trying to accomplish the same or similar goals who decide to work together instead of competing. I get this type of support form the Shades of Social Media. The Shades is a group of female bloggers of color who work together to share our diverse voices on line. We work together promoting and encouraging each other in many areas including Facebook. Look for a group with similar interests and goal as your own. If you cannot find one then start your own.

Other things I do to increase my Facebook likes are:

Make sure I mention and link to the Chasing Joy Facebook page in many of my blog posts
Encourage my twitter peeps to like Chasing Joy on Facebook
On my personal Facebook page I list my occupation as owner of Chasing Joy and I make sure it is a live link to the Chasing Joy Facebook Page.
Check the Facebook insights to find ou the age range and locations of those who have liked your page.

If you like these tips then please be sure to Like the Chaisng Joy page 🙂

Did I leave anything out? What are your tips for increasing your likes on FB?

Mental Health Monday: My Confession

November 26, 2012 |

Today I am going to make a little confession. I say a little confession because my friends and most of my families are already privy to this bit of info. It’s nothing juicy or all that uncommon. It’s actually a rather ordinary fact but still a rather personal one.

So are you ready? Drum roll please……… Here goes, I see a therapist. I routinely see a shrink and get my head shrunk. LOL That’s right several times a month I go to a doctor and discuss my problems, anxieties, hopes, and dreams both my dreams for the future and the ones I had about the lions, haunted porch, and aliens. She helps me see things from a different point of view and helps me find better ways to deal with day to day to day stressors.

So why am I letting this cat out of the bag today? Well it had been on my mind for a while now to reveal this bit of info about myself. I know there is still quite a bit of stigma within the black community about therapy and mental health . It was only a matter of time before I was ready to speak positively about the virtues of therapy on this blog. I also figured I’d do it on a Monday. Many bloggers including one of my favorite’s Bewildered Bug participate in Mental Health Mondays. While I don’t intend to pick that up as a regular feature on the blog it does provide good timing for my announcement.

But why this Monday? Well, last week I received a very unexpected phone call. I answered a call on my cell phone from a caller who’s number I did not recognize. Within a few minutes the caller revealed themselves as an old friend and got to the point of their call. The person started out saying they had been reading my blog. My first thought was oh crap they read something that they did not like. But I was wrong. The person revealed that they found it so uplifting and wished they could be as happy as me. They went on to say that they were in a really bad place and where basically contemplating suicide!!!

I spoke to the person for about a half hour. During that time I reminded the person that I see a therapists and that has helped me. I emphasized over and over again that the caller should seek out therapy of some sort for themselves. I advised them to go to a hospital, or a church. I reminded the person of the people that would be hurt if they went through with a suicide. But over and over again I stressed how the therapy has helped me and that I felt it could be helpful for them as well. I hope what I said sunk in. After the call I also texted the person the National Suicide Prevention Hotline phone number. I hope what I said was helpful.

So here I am doing my very own Mental Health Monday Post and confessing to you all about my therapy. God is good and this blog with it’s joyful quotes has been a tremendous help in my overall mental/emotional health. But complimenting that is the therapy. Now I do not have any sort of Mental Disorder or chemical imbalance. I started therapy after the death of my dad and during a really bad break up. At times life can be really hard and that was a hard time for me. I was feeling very very down, maybe even depressed. Now it is normal to feel down and sometimes depressed but I did not want to get stuck there. I was concerned for myself because my thoughts were dark and I felt that I was struggling to get through my days. Therapy helped me with that. I continue to go because I like to have a safe place to express myself without fearing that I am worrying someone else.

So that is my confession. Are you disappointed? Where you expecting something more juicy??? LOL Sorry to disappoint you if you were.

I do hope that if there is someone out there who thinks they may need to talk to a therapist but are embarrassed that they will see that it is no big deal and go. If any of you are feeling depressed or down for longer than usual or feel stuck there please go. If any of you are considering hurting yourself in any way please go. Remember that I go so you will not at all be alone.

If you have health insurance you can look on the back of your medical card and there will be a phone number for mental health or behavioral health. Use that number to find a therapist within your network. If you don’t have insurance go to your local hospital and explain that you need to talk to a therapist. Many churches offer counseling services as well, often by certified therapist who volunteer their time at the church. If you are contemplating hurting yourself call the Suicide Prevention Hotline Immediately 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

Now remember that my advice here is based only on my personal experience. I am not a doctor, therapist, or counselor. I am just a blogger who is Chasing Joy, who spills her guts to a therapist regularly, and who does not think there is anything wrong with that.

What are your thoughts? Do you feel there is a stigma within your community about seeking therapy or any kind of emotional or mental health support?

Having Chicken For A More Joyful Turkey Day

November 21, 2012 |

Tomorrow is Turkey Day! The holidays are definitely upon us. It is a happy and Joyful time of year. At least it is supposed to be. But for many people including me it is a tough time. The holidays have so many wonderful attributes including a spirit of giving and togetherness which is good. However it often comes with expectations and a desire for things to be a certain way. With the realization that things cannot be the way we want or the way we expected comes a sense of disappointment. Some of you Joy Chasers are going through your first holiday season after the loss of a loved one and that is really hard.

So, Repeat after me: the holiday season is not always happy. Sometimes it is hard. Great now that we’ve been honest about that let’s not fall into a pity party. I was talking to a co-worker recently about my own reservations about the holidays and what I would have like to have happen vs. what was really going to happen. She was going through the same thing. My advice to her and now my challenge to all of you and to myself is to go into Thanksgiving, and the rest of the holidays with one goal. To figure out what you can do to have the best day possible. Then do that. Don’t compare it to what you really wanted to have happen or even to what happened last year or the year before that. Simply say for me to have an OK day I need to do this.

For me that means on Turkey Day I will sleep late, text all my friends Happy Turkey Day, I will cook and enjoy the unhealthy holiday food that I don’t have regularly and I will enjoy it without feeling guilty. I will enjoy spending time with my mom and feeding my dog table scraps. I will cook a chicken because I really don’t love turkey. I will have ice cream with my sweet potato pie because It will remind me of how my dad liked to do that. I will go to Target and see how many people are waiting in line the doors to open for Black Friday, and if it does not look to crazy I will likely join them. These are the things that will help me bring some Joy back to my Turkey Day.

It won’t be my ideal day and I will be missing my dad, but the day does not have to suck or be horrible.

What are your plans for Turkey Day? If your day will be less than ideal what do you need to do to have it be an OK day?

Flashback Friday & Accessories Saturday!

October 12, 2012 |

Happy Friday and welcome to the Flashback!!!

A while ago a fashion blogger friend of mine commented on not knowing which post to include for flashback Friday because she did not feel her blog was particularly inspirational. I assured her that she could post whatever post she wanted for flashback Friday. There are no requirements in terms of post topic. The flashback is simply an opportunity to give old post new life 🙂 The only requirement is you visit to other links.

That was not the end of my response to my fashionable friend. I told her that she was mistaken about her blog. There is a lot of value in our outer appearance. Now how you look is not as important as who you are. But it is still important. Personally, I have found that as I have gotten more immersed in Chasing Joy I have become more and more conscious of my appearance, in a good way. I have recognized how things are kind of circular in that when I feel better I look better (more alert, smiling, better posture) and when I look better I feel better. Who does not feel good when they walk past the mirror and like what they see. Learning about how to look my best as a full figured girl has given me more confidence. So there is definite value and inspiration in beauty and fashion.

This Flashback Friday I am excited because tomorrow I will have the opportunity to learn a bit more about fashion. I will be attending Macy’s Celebration of Accessories! The Celebration of Accessories is a preview of Fall’s most talked-about accessories like studded clutches, suede ankle boots and statement necklaces. Stylists will be on hand to give tips on how accessories can keep your wardrobe current. I’m excited to figure out some ways to make my current clothes look new so I can cut some of my shopping budget. There is also a giveaway for a handbag, pair of boots from Carlos by Carlos Santana or a $250 Macy’s Gift Card! 🙂

If you are free and in Philly come down to Macy’s and join me. The Celebration of Accessories will take place on Saturday, Oct. 13 at 2pm at Macy’s Center City, Philadelphia PA, Grand Court, Main Floor. If you are not in Philly don’t worry there are Celebration of Accessories fall previews in other locations as well:

Saturday, Oct. 13 at 2pm

Macy’s Galleria at Hildago, Houston, TX
2nd Level
*with special guest Rebecca Spera

Saturday, Oct. 13 at 3pm

Macy’s Dadeland, Miami FL
1st Floor

Now, on to the Flashback! Hopefully I have cleared up any confusion and all of you know you can link up any post you want 🙂 My Flashback this week is Make it Happen Monday. I know it is Friday and no one wants to think about Monday. This post is just a reminder that Monday’s don’t have to be bad. We can use them as a time to set goals that bring us closer to the Joy we are chasing.

Now, pick out a link to one of your oldie but goody post and add it below. Feel free to post a link to your Flashback post on the Chasing Joy Facebook Page so more Joy Chasers can access it. Use hashtags #FBF or #FlashbackFriday on twitter to advertise your Flashback post. Be sure to check out AT LEAST TWO other Flashback posts. I suggest the two listed before your post to make it easy. Please leave a comment saying why you selected your Flashback post and what you thought about the other Flashback posts. I’m looking forward to reading all of your Flashbacks.

*Don’t forget to grab the I am Chasing Joy and Flashback Friday buttons!

**Also invite some of your blogging buddies to join the Linky too!
***Oh, and I hope to see you at Macy’s on Saturday**

*Disclosure: I am a member of the Everywhere Society and Everywhere provided me with compensation for this post about Macy’s Fall Accessories. However, all thoughts and opinions expressed herein are my own.

How to Keep a Bad Moment from Stealing Your Joy

October 9, 2012 |

For my last birthday a friend of mine gave me Joyce Meyer’s book Living Beyond Your Feelings. I did not start reading it right away. But I have been reading it little by little in the mornings for the last few weeks. The few pages I read this morning were about how easy it is for us to get stuck in our negative thoughts.

The reason these particular pages resonated with me is because I am guilty. One thing will go wrong or not as expected. The next thing I know my thoughts have gone on this downward stream of consciousness where each thought is more negative than the one before it. Someone will say something that upsets me. Then I’ll start thinking how mean people are rehashing every mean thing people have said. Next I’ll start to get down on myself for not having had the appropriate snappy comebacks. And then suddenly other people’s lack of respect has become my own fault. And the negative thoughts just continue on and on until I or often someone else like my mom or a friend snaps me out of it. Now, you see why I must continue Chasing Joy.

Of course Ms. Meyer had a suggestion for this problem in those few pages. She suggest stopping that downward spiral of negative thoughts by thinking about something positive. That got me to thinking. I should come up with a list of go to thoughts that I could turn to and concentrate on when something bad happens to keep me from spiraling out. For me the easiest thoughts are memories. So here are a few memories that will become my go to thoughts to reset my mind after a negative experience.

Buying my first Car – I did my research myself. I had a friend who had her dad’s old Nissan Sentra. She had had it for a while and the car was over 10 years old and still going. I decided that was what I wanted. I knew I could not afford a new car so I looked for a used one. I found I could go the haggle free way by buying through Enterprise Car Sales. I found they had the car I wanted, a used 2005 Nissan Sentra, at the local lot. My dad and I went together to get it. It was Columbus Day 2005. When we go their they could not find the keys. I was thinking this was a sign to not buy the car as I had prayed heavily over this purchase. While they attempted to locate the keys my dad and I drove to the closes Nissan dealership. They did not have any used 2005 Sentras. They showed us the New 2006 Sentra. Which was several thousand more than I could afford. While we were talking to the salesmen at the dealership the Enterprise salesman called to say they found the keys. We hurried back to the used lot where we found that the used 2005 Nissan Sentra was the same in every way, including what was under the hood, as the New 2006 Sentra. I felt so confident in my purchase as I signed the papers and drove off in my car. I understood that all of that happened as a way to reassure me that this was the car for me. My dad was proud of me for my research and securing my own financing. It was an awesome day.
The day I picked out my cat Peanut. I went to the SPCA to get a cat. I knew I wanted a kitten because they are so little and cute. Peanut was in a cage with two other kittens. The SPCA person said they were his brothers but they looked nothing like him. Peanut is black and white and the other two were a brownish pattern. Peanut was the smallest of the three. I picked him because he was the runt and because his black and white patter was similar to the black and white pattern of my dad’s cat. I signed for him and agreed to have him fixed as was the SPCA’s requirement. I took him home a few days latter. He has been terrorizing, I mean keeping me company, ever since. LOL
My 1st trip to Las Vegas. This was my first trip going out of town with a man. I felt like a grown up in a way that I never did prior to this trip. I went with my ex-boyfriend and several friends from college. I was surrounded by people who I loved being around and who loved being around me and none of them were family. Which means our relationships were completely by choice. We had fun; ate, dance, gambled, and went to shows. We laughed a lot. Even though that relationship did not work out I felt 100 percent secure in it at that time. That was an awesome feeling that I look forward to experiencing again.

Thoughts are fluid some need to pass through like water through a strainer while others need to be contained stored for later use. These are the thoughts and memories that I choose to store and use when ever something bad happens. These thoughts are the ones I’ll turn to to keep me from that downward spiral into negativity. What are some of your positive thoughts or memories that you can go to when something starts to bring you down and steal your Joy?

Way to go Hurt! Way to go Wednesday!!!

July 25, 2012 |

Way to go Wednesday! Way to go Wednesday is where we say way to go to our friends and family on Facebook and Twitter to celebrate their accomplishments. I am saying Way to go to my dog Hurt! (I did not name him)

Hurt Loves the Holidays!!!!

I have three pets. One dog, Hurt and two cats, Peanut and Pinto. Today I am saying Way to go to Hurt for giving me so much joy for three years now. I don’t remember the day Hurt became a permanent resident of my house but I know it was about three years ago. Now I love all of my furry friends equally but I’m shouting out Hurt because he was the one I initially did not want.

Hurt likes Peanut even though Peanut can be a bully.

Hurt belonged to my ex boyfriend’s mother. I was asked to take him in by the Ex. I initially said no. A dog is a lot of work compared to cats with the walking and the grooming. But the Ex and my dad double teamed me and I gave in. Three years later I can say Hurt is the best thing I got out of that relationship. So way to go Hurt for giving us so much Joy.