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Should I Give Up On Becoming A Mom

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Should I Give Up On Becoming A MomShould I give up on becoming a mom? Should I give up on trying to get pregnant? Should I give up on becoming a single mother by choice?

These were the questions I started struggling with after the failed frozen embryo transfer. I really had a hard time. After so many failed attempts I was shocked at how difficult this one was.

The first failed transfer after IVF I could chalk up to bad luck. But now two failed attempts. What does this mean? Then I started thinking about the previous failed attempts before IVF and my missed miscarriage. For the first time since I started on this journey I really began to wonder if I should give up on becoming a mom.

Here is where my faith and self-care pillars of joy came in handy. Since the pregnancy tests were negative I decided to up my exercise routine and I started walking/jogging outside. During one of these workouts I felt compelled to pray and I got some clarity. Should I give up on becoming a mom or continue on?

Check out the video below to see what I decided.

Frozen Embryo Transfer

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Frozen Embryo TransferFrozen Embryo Transfer day!!!

Leading up to this frozen embryo transfer I was filled with so much anxiety.  I went into IVF thinking it would work.  Even though logically I knew it was not a sure thing, my heart believed it would work.  I was crestfallen (Despite the meaning, crestfallen is my favorite word.) when my fresh embryo transfer failed.  That rude awakening stuck with me.

I had to battle with thoughts like what if this one does not work either, what if none of it works, what if I never become a mom, etc for weeks.  The funny thing is once transfer day arrived all of that anxiety was gone. I woke up feeling good. I was grateful everything fell into place for me to go to acupuncture before the transfer.  It felt like a sign that the acupuncturist (not my normal lady) asked if we could pray together.  The only thing that didn’t go my way was sitting in traffic.  I was in traffic so long I decided to start the video in the car.

The video below includes my frozen embryo transfer.  It was basically the same as my fresh embryo transfer procedure.  My cousin came with me again.  You have to watch to the end to see a picture of my beautiful embryo.

Is it time for my Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET)

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Frozen Embryo TransferCan I move on to my FET, my frozen embryo transfer?  I have come to terms with the failed fresh transfer. After talking to my doctor about the failed cycle all I want to know is can I get started with the FET?

After dreaded two week wait, the most nerve racking time is the time leading up to your next cycle.  There are so many things that can pop up that prevent you from having the necessary fertility treatment to try again. In the past I have been delayed trying to lose weight.  Most often I have been delayed because of developing a cyst on my ovary.  This happened to me last year when I thought I was going to start IVF.  Then I was further delayed because of the lab’s maintenance schedule.  So, before I could  start taking the estrogen and progesterone needed for my FET I needed to find out if I could even get started. Was it indeed time for my frozen embryo transfer.

The first hurdle I had to cross was going in for the day 3 tests.  This consist of blood work and an ultrasound between the 2nd and 4th days after your period starts.  In the case of my FET they were checking to make sure that I did not have ovarian cysts.  If there were cysts then I will have to wait for them to resolve.  In addition to looking for cysts they also check  the uterine lining. The doctor wants to make sure is appropriately thin for that stage of the cycle.  Even if the cycle day 3 tests are good I’d still have to come back in a couple of weeks to make sure the uterine lining  thickened properly.  Only then would I be given the ok to have the FET.

Now that you have some backgroud, check out today’s video of me going for my day 3 tests and finding out if I could move forward with my FET.

I’d love to hear about anyone’s experience with a FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer).  Don’t be shy leave a comment or email me at ArlettRHartie@Chasing-Joy-com.

Baby Making Update: Consult After Failed Fresh Embryo Transfer

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Consult After Failed Fresh Embryo TransferAs you guys know my fresh embryo transfer after IVF did not work.  Saying I am disappointed is an understatement.  But, like I said in last week’s baby making update I am not giving up.  I was lucky enough to have gotten more than one embryo from the egg retrieval.  But, I figured it was best to talk to the doctor before transferring another one. Watch this week’s video to hear what the doctor had to say about my failed cycle and my next steps.  I also share what I plan to do different during the next cycle.

Thanks for your support and during this longer than expected journey to motherhood.  I’d love to hear your thoughts on my Dr’s consult and my plan for the next embryo transfer.  So don’t be shy.  Share your opinion in the comments below.

A New Product to Help with Getting Pregnant Naturally, The Stork OTC

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GETTING PREGNANT NATURALLY, THE STORK OTC

This is a sponsored post for The Stork OTC. However all opinions expressed herein are my own.

Happy Monday!!!  Normally I only talk about baby making or my efforts at getting pregnant on Fridays.  But, I found out about an awesome product to help with getting pregnant naturally and couldn’t wait to share it with you guys.  It is called the Stork OTC.

As you guys know I have been trying to get pregnant for two years now.  While Chasing Joy is not a fertility blog, Chasing Joy is about going after the joyful life you want.  For me that includes motherhood and I am not alone.  That is why it is important for me to share my journey.  Similarly, It is also important for me to share information on getting pregnant that is not specific to my journey but may help you with your own efforts at getting pregnant.

Since my effort at getting pregnant is a solo project I started right away with going to a fertility specialist and having an IUI.  This is likely not where you will start if you are getting pregnant with a male partner aka husband, boyfriend, or BAE.   You will start trying to get pregnant naturally aka the fun way.  The Stork OTC is a fertility product that you can use to help you.  Think of this as a step you can take before you head into a fertility specialist.

Here is how it works. BAE will wear something similar to a condom while you guys have sexy time. It will capture his swimmers.  When he takes it off the The Stork OTC will then allow you to place those swimmers inside of you way up near your cervix. The placement is similar to that of a diaphragm. Getting those swimmers close to the cervix is what increases your chance at getting pregnant.  Future Single Mother’s By Choice like myself or same sex female couples don’t feel left out.  You can use The Stork OTC with donor sperm as well.

To see exactly how The Stork OTC works click here >>> Show Me How The Stork OTC Works.

If i had known about The Stork OTC I may have tried it before I did an IUI.  Oh well I am on the IVF train now.  However, despite the fact that I had medical intervention from the very beginning I still did a lot to boost my natural fertility. Despite my first transfer not working I attribute ending up with a total of 5 embryos from the IVF to those efforts. So if you are working on getting pregnant here are a few things to try in addition to The Stork OTC.

  • Take a prenatal vitamin.  This will give you additional nutrient support but most importantly it will give you the folic acid that your baby will need in those first few weeks.  Lack of folic acid in those first few weeks when you may not even realize you are pregnant can cause neural tube defects.  So pretty much all women of childbearing age should take a prenatal just in case.  The down side is the pills are kind of big.  But you can find smaller ones.  The bonus (outside the benefits to baby) is you may see an improvement in your hair and nails.
  • Take Vitamin D.  Vitamin D comes from the sun.  Our milk is fortified with it but the main source is sunlight. Depending on your skin tone and the climate you live in you may likely have a vitamin deficiency. I am a black girl living in Philly (Northeastern United States) where we don’t get a lot of sun during the fall and winter. Not surprisingly I was Vitamin D deficient.  You can get vitamin d over the counter and it even comes in gummy form.
  • Get your thyroid checked.  I was surprised to find out I had a thyroid issue.  It is technically not a thyroid problem as my levels are considered normal for a grown woman. However for pregnancy a thyroid number between 1 and 2.5 is considered optimal.  Mine was a bit over this so I started taking Synthroid.  One bonus from this is that I now find it a little easier to lose weight.  It’s still hard AF though,  Yall see me posting my workouts on Instagram, LOL.
  • Get your blood sugar levels checked.  If your body is not metabolising sugars properly that will have a negative impact on getting pregnant.  I found out my blood sugar levels were a little too high and was given a medication to help. I also met with a nutritionist.
  • Speaking of losing weight, get to a healthy weight range.  Being either overweight or underweight can impact your ability to ovulate.  There are also studies showing women who are not in a healthy weight range have a harder time getting pregnant even if they are ovulating.
  • Take Vitamins E and C.  A while back I told you guys about the book It Starts With The Egg.  The book talks about how toxins may play a role in diminished fertility.  After reading it I started taking Vitamin E and C as they are both antioxidants which help protect our cells from toxins. Remember our eggs are cells and cell division is how we go from sperm and egg to little bundles of joy..
  • Look into CoQ10 and DHEA.  I also took these supplements to aid in my fertility.  I think these two are responsible for performing a Benjamin Button on my ovaries.  At one point the fertility tests showed I had the ovaries of a 40 year old woman when I was only 36.  Both of these help with egg quality.  I don’t know of any negative of using CoQ10.  Unfortunately you have to be a bit more careful with DHEA.  It is a form of male hormone.  If your male hormones are already on the higher side it can actually be harmful to take it. So look into it and discuss with your doctor. Have them give you a blood test to check your hormone levels first.  Other supplements mentioned in the book included myo-inositol and  royal jelly. These seemed a little controversial so I stayed away from them.
  • Lastly make lifestyle changes.  I lost weight by exercising and  eating  healthier (sometimes I fall off though). I also made changes to my skin, hair, and makeup routines to avoid unnecessary chemicals.  Now I only wear foundation on special occasions. I switched my nail polish to ones with fewer chemicals.  In addition I also switched my hand soap, body wash, lotion,  and dishwashing liquid to natural products.  I also stopped relaxing my hair.  That’s why I am rocking these lovely braids.Getting Pregnant

So there are lots of things to do to help naturally improve your fertility before moving to fertility drugs and procedures.  I’m glad we can now add The Stork OTC to the list of things that can help you with getting pregnant.

Click here to find out where to buy The Stork OTC >>> Buy The Stork OTC.

Keep in mind that as we get older fertility goes down. The general rule of thumb is if you have been trying on your own with no luck you should reach out to a Reproductive Endocrinologist after a year if you are under 35 and after 6 months if you are over 35.

I want us all to have the Joyful lives we deserve. If your joyful life includes becoming a mom I hope you found this helpful.

Would you try The Stork to help you with getting pregnant?  Have you done any of the other things I mentioned to help with getting pregnant? Did they work?

This is a sponsored post for The Stork OTC. However all opinions expressed herein are my own.

Baby Making Update: Fresh Embryo Transfer

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Fresh Embryo TransferI had my Fresh Embryo Transfer!!!!   This was a huge step. It took a long time for me to feel comfortable with IVF and then months of preparing for it. I was nervous about the egg retrieval.  I worried about getting a ride and I freaked out a little in the operating room.  But, I survived.  LOL.  If you saw last week’s video about the egg retrieval you know they got a total of 14 eggs.  My recovery was rough.  I mean, it was way rougher than I thought it would be.  Luckily I recovered in a few days and was able to have my fresh embryo transfer.  Check out the video below to see how that went and to see how many embryos I got from the 14 eggs.

Baby Making Update: 11 Days Of My Life

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It took me a long time to come to term with doing IVF.  One of the things that helped me get used to the idea of all of the needles was reminding myself of the big picture.  When I think about my whole life only 14 days at most will have been spent doing injections assuming I get pregnant from one IVF cycle. Well I was lucky I only had to do shots for 11 days.  Today’s baby making video shows you what happened during my 11 days of IVF injections of Menopur and Follistim.

It Starts With The Egg Book Recommendation For Those Trying To Conceive

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It Starts with the Egg: How the Science of Egg Quality Can Help You Get Pregnant Naturally, Prevent Miscarriage, and Improve Your Odds in IVF by Rebecca Fett. I have a book recommendation for my friends who want to experience the Joy of becoming a mom or dad.  It is called It Starts With The Egg.  Actually its called  It Starts with the Egg: How the Science of Egg Quality Can Help You Get Pregnant Naturally, Prevent Miscarriage, and Improve Your Odds in IVF by Rebecca Fett.  I started reading it a few weeks back and began making some of the recommended changes.  For example did you notice my hair is now in braids (well crochet twists to be exact) .  I made that change because of a recommendation from the book.  Check out the video below to see all of the tips and advice I have been applying.

it Starts with the Egg: How the Science of Egg Quality Can Help You Get Pregnant Naturally, Prevent Miscarriage, and Improve Your Odds in IVF by Rebecca Fett

Click here to get your own copy of It Starts With The Egg from Amazon.


This post contains affiliate links.

What The Hell Happened!!! Trying To Conceive is Not Joyful

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Trying to conceive, What The Hell Happened

Trying to conceive is not joyful.  Last week’s baby making update was not good.  My final IUI, my fertility hail mary, was a bust.  I really thought I was pregnant and even got a squirter on a home pregnancy test.  I had a hard time wrapping my mind around it. So, I asked to come in to see the fertility doctor to for an ultrasound and to try and figure out what the hell happened.  Check out the video below to see what I found out.

Thanks for all of your support and encouragement.  Please keep it coming as I head for IVF!!!

Going For The Fertility Hail Mary

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Fertility Hail MaryI am going for the fertility hail mary.

A Hail Mary is a very long forward pass in American football, made in desperation with only a small chance of success.   It is also a prayer.  September made 18 months since I started trying to conceive.  A year and a half, the length of two pregnancies, and still no baby.  The time seems right to go for the fertility Hail Mary.  I’m talking about one final IUI before heading into IVF.  I have been on the fence about doing another IUI or just waiting for the IVF.  But I am in a state of desperation (I desperately want to be a mom). After so many unsuccessful IUI’s the chances of success are small.  I have and will continue to do a lot of praying.  Sounds fiting for a Hail Mary doesn’t it???

Check out the video below to find out the plane for my Fertility Hail Mary cycle.

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